Massive increase in cost for lessons, is this normal?

[WouldRatherBeOnaBeach]

As per title, one of my children has flute lessons. Heard last night from the teacher guy that the lesson will be going up from £32 to £40 in the new year, for the same amount of time.

Daughter loves the lessons, but our money is very tight. Husband gives me £85 for the week and I have to find this lesson money out of it as well as feed a household of 5.

I dont understand if things are going up by 3% (or whatever it is ), how are some things going up by SO much. Hubby says I should just pay it as the teacher might not have increased his rates for years, but we’ve only been doing the lessons since the summer and the percentage increase feels huge.

(The teacher is a guy my husband used to work with, not sure if this could be why he just wants me to shut up and pay, to save his embarrassment?!)

I already find it such a juggle to make sure everything is covered on such a low income, I am feeling sad that I now have this additional stress.

Is it me? Am I being unreasonable??

Sending love OP - I have friends who are clergy wives/children and it's often a (n unpaid) job for the spouse as much as for the minister, with the added fun of feeling watched, held to a higher standard etc.

In the immediate time I would consider whether you can slightly increase the rent on your old flat; ask the teacher for a lower rate as the proposed rate is unaffordable; ask about cutting down frequency of lessons; look around for other tutors (bit awkward given this one is a friend/contact?); consider some of the links for support posted above, which are for clergy.

Wishing you well.

If your child is at a relatively early stage of learning, I would suggest a 30 minute lesson every week would be fine, a hour is quite a long time for a young pupil. At the rate you mention, I guess you're currently paying for an hour?

when was the last time they raised their prices?

My daughter's guitar school didn't raise their prices for 3 years so it went up suddenly from £62 per month to £85 per month which gave me a massive shock. But then when I realised it had been so stable for so long, I figured it was because they hadn't been incremenentally raising them which is why the jump was so big.

OP says she's not being financially abused but a man who leaves a well paid job to be a poorly paid anything "because he wants to" to the detriment of his family and when this "non stop job" prevents his wife from working... I would consider that man to be financially abusing his family so he can (in this case) be a good guy to the world.

Same as if he left to be an artist or a musician or a podcaster. If you can't support your family, you can't do your hobby job.

You need to check all the above... Absolutely ridiculous and abusive that the church expects its vicars to be living in penury at less than the living wage.
You sound very passive. Find your anger on behalf of your children. They deserve better.

And, you should be paying only contents insurance for the vicarage, negotiate strongly on that!
The owner/church pays the buildings insurance.

And your flat will be leasehold so the Buildings insurance should be covered by the management company. Check your documents. Your tenant pays the contents insurance for his belongings and any invertant damage he does within your property.
Your responsibility (landlord) is only on the internals.... from the plastered walls and the fixtures.

Ask the council about council tax relief.

And there are business costs associated with running a vicarage so yes the church should be covering those. Broadband + phones + contribution to heat and light.
Don't let them get away with it.

And an aside, We've found NFU to be very helpful and competitive on insurance costs.
Amalgamate everything you can even the car insurance. And no I dont work for them, just found them so much more helpful and open to discussion and we've moved often so had many negotiations..

I presume the broadband is because a vicar needs it for his/her work. Ditto payments for heating in the vicarage which is often used for meetings etc. Are you being taxed correctly - because clergy have a special tax band since they are not employed and not paid a salary? As to the flat - be careful. Income on a rented out flat is taxed (doesn't matter if it only covers the mortgage) and Ms Reeves has just done small landlords no favours at all.

Sorry if I've missed it, have you saud why you're not working?

£550 for heating costs on a free home? Lucky you.

People are typically paying £150 - £200 (?) a month in heating a month. So you are paying £350 a month "rent".

You have no idea how lucky you are

To answer your question, 25% seems a big increase, but if there have been several years of no increases I'm not surprised. That's effectively his gross profit before tax, his net hourly pay will be considerably below that once he deducts tax and NI, holiday and sick pay (if he can afford those), pension contributions, overheads, petrol, marketing, cancellations etc.

My unsolicited advice (sorry if not helpful): I'm surprised your Diocese doesn't cover your council tax, water and buildings insurance. The PCC(s) should also be paying expenses to cover part of the broadband and heating bills, unless one of the Churches has an office your DH works from. You should be able to claim tax back as well if he has a home office/ PCC meetings in the Dining Room etc. Our PCC also pays reasonable travel expenses/mileage (for visiting parishioners etc., not driving to your place of work to take a service).

Unite have a branch for ministers of religion, I suggest he joins and asks for advice on whether his situation is fair.

I also don't understand why he is constantly 'on-call'. Ok, if someone is dying he might need to rush off, but most Vicars I know keep office hours, and most take Saturday and one day off in the week. It's dangerous not to, frankly, you end up being at the beck and call of people who don't really need your help otherwise.

Other than that, your situation doesn't sound that different to a lower income family with a newborn. Once the child is old enough, you will also need to get a job. All the spouses of married Vicars I know have jobs of their own.

Well done on keeping the flat. Hopefully over a long career, capital value increase alone will give you a bedrock for a retirement property.

Final point- it's not ideal perhaps, but if it really is a struggle a few Vicars I know have utilised their big vicarages by taking in a lodger or two. Obviously, with small children you'd probably want a level-headed, mature woman- but it's worth investigating as an option. You'll need permission from the Diocese, but they shouldn't withhold that unreasonably- you need to ensure they stay on the kind of licence tenancy that means they can be quickly evicted.

Bless you. The way the Church of England treats parish priests is criminal in my view. They are averaging less than minimum wage, their housing is poorly maintained and they have too many parishes to have the kind of impact they’d like to have.

Sadly, your flute lessons were well below current market rate. The teacher is probably struggling financially too. All I can suggest is that you ask for the increase to be stepped, so it increases to £36 then reaches £40 in the summer term.

sorry if this has been suggested before but have you got any skills you could barter for the flute lessons? Cleaning? Babysitting? Baking?

She won’t be paying building insurance, the owner pays it.

I don’t know do they’re charging some kind of service fee in lieu.

As a family you have given up an awful lot entirely for your husbands job enjoyment. Cold house, no extra curricular for the children, no house for retirement, moving constantly so kids can’t keep friends, very small food budget, no career for you.

I don’t know if this still applies but my husband was given financial support for his education (some years ago now) by a children of the clergy charity that might be worth investigating. Otherwise, I agree with others who’ve said that having a lesson every other week is reasonable.
I think £40 for music lessons is not outrageous (though I can see that the sudden increase is awkward). I’ve had teachers charge a lot more than that.

I'm fascinated by budgets and menu plans. Any chance you could jot down a quick week's menu ?

In fact, I have found the relevant webpage for financial support for clergy and their families. Your needs might be covered by the 'Tuition fees for children' section:
https://www.clergysupport.org.uk/wellbeing-grants

Nothing seems to go up by inflation anymore. It always feels like price rises are 20-30%.

If you tell him you just cannot afford it, maybe he will waive the fee rises for your kids. Most people are aware that church folk have very low budgets for an awful lot of work. I am horrified by his salary.

Also curious! We eat about half veggie already but are clearly doing something wrong as we are nowhere near this budget and there are only 4 of us (though one teenager!)

Maybe ask the person providing the lessons to justify the increase or at least explain why.

It might be a number of things. Costs going up, fees like insurance going up etc.

Maybe they have too much work.

OTOH it might just be that they have found out that this is what everyone else charges and have upped their price to be consistent with the marketplace.

Have you considered going somewhere else for the lessons ? That is the way the market works.

When you say "the teacher might not have increased the rates for years" why "might not" ? Surely you know.

I’d only expect an increase up to £35. It sounds like the lessons are now too expensive for you to stretch to. Is their group lessons or online lessons that are cheaper?

Even if you did sell your flat, you probably wouldn’t get UC. Your capital would be too high and you would soon get through it and be left with nothing when your DH retires.

This is a great idea!

As "God will provide", perhaps He could pay for the flute lessons?? I don't mean to be rude, but I do think it's shocking that a vicar is so poorly paid.

Years ago I knew a vicar who had two children at boarding school; not sure how they managed to afford that.

How long are the lessons? £40/hr is still beneath union rates...

£85 to feed a family of 4? No way.