Massive increase in cost for lessons, is this normal?

[WouldRatherBeOnaBeach]

As per title, one of my children has flute lessons. Heard last night from the teacher guy that the lesson will be going up from £32 to £40 in the new year, for the same amount of time.

Daughter loves the lessons, but our money is very tight. Husband gives me £85 for the week and I have to find this lesson money out of it as well as feed a household of 5.

I dont understand if things are going up by 3% (or whatever it is ), how are some things going up by SO much. Hubby says I should just pay it as the teacher might not have increased his rates for years, but we’ve only been doing the lessons since the summer and the percentage increase feels huge.

(The teacher is a guy my husband used to work with, not sure if this could be why he just wants me to shut up and pay, to save his embarrassment?!)

I already find it such a juggle to make sure everything is covered on such a low income, I am feeling sad that I now have this additional stress.

Is it me? Am I being unreasonable??

Your original question was if this was a reasonable jump and I think unfortunately yes it is - if anything the teacher was undercharging you for a while. I don't really understand why you can't work at all and you can't sell your flat, but everyone makes their own choices and I think people got a bit sidelined into trying to fix things you didn't ask for help to fix.

So yes, the teacher is fine to charge £40 for a lesson and if this is unaffordable for you then you can't do it. We all have to budget with what we have. I can't afford private music lessons either so it's not that unusual.

Those things would add up to about £500-plus all the other stuff, maybe £800. My quick sums are there’s about £1k spare per month to absorb this 8x4?

Is your friend paying rent, at least at the level of the universal credit you’re missing out on?

I am a huge supporter of music but having spent THOUSANDS on my children I know oh too well how much it costs. Sitting an exam, for example, will cost over £100 by the time you have paid for the original music, exam fee and accompanist.

i strongly suggest you look for local Saturday music conservatoires which have generous bursaries - oftentimes completely free tuition - and you would absolutely qualify with your household income. That and as per PP free music lessons through school or the council - that is how I received a musical education.

does your church (c of e?) have bursaries to pay for things like this for children of clergy?

the flute teacher is charging a reasonable and below union fee, but I think it is too great a proportion of your household income.

Thanks for the ideas. I will definitely put my feelers out and see what else is available, or switch to less frequent or shorter lessons.

The flat pays for itself, not loads leftover as there are a lot of costs and also we switched to buy to let mortgage which is higher percentage than when we lived in it. Because the house prices have gone up, it has over the 16k equity, but that makes no day to day difference to us.

Selling it would render us homeless when he retires or leaves, so that would be daft. I also would only be allowed 6 weeks in the vicarage should something happen to him, or he need to stop working, so I need somewhere to go with my children!

I agree. It’s certainly not a decision that’s in the best interests of the whole family.

While children are small, would it be advantageous to change to intrest only mortage - say for 5 years so you would have more income.
Then after 5 years kids would be old enough to switch mortage back to repayment and get a pt job.

So where is all the money going?

I'm so confused where all your money's going - yes he only has a stipend and it's not much but it's not a pittance either! And some of your household bills should be subsidised too, as well as no housing costs. What do you actually spend on each month?
As for the hours, maybe you've just got a shitty diocese, some can be harder than others but most clergy draw some boundaries to protect their home life.

The problem is that you won't actually fit into the flat anyway so you'd be selling it at some point. It seems like the point of greatest need is now as you can go back to work soon and cover the gap when the kids are a little older.

I think i would look for something you could do at home around the kids to generate income.. childminding maybe? Online income? Buying & reselling? That is a very tight budget and Im guessing he wants to be a vicar until he retires?

I am a tutor and while I don't think the fee is necessarily unreasonable, I do think the increase is. I know budgeting can be hard for families, so I try to 'fix' my students' prices whenever possible. This means I now have some where the lessons are still at the same price as they were when I took them on in 2019, but I see it as a sort of loyalty discount, especially since they also often refer others.

Then, when I get new students, I charge my current market rate. It all evens out in the end - especially as having happy long-term students is so much easier than having to constantly find new ones.

Doesn’t add up to me either. If I didn’t have to pay rent/ mortgage or childcare then £2k + child benefit a month would be easily doable. My household bills come to £550. Only thing I can think is there’s a really expensive car loan maybe.

I'm also a little confused about how there's so little left per month from his stipend. I have to live on around that, and though I don't have children I do have housing costs that you don't.

It is so hard being self employed. My costs have gone up massively and I haven’t passed them all on because it’s so hard to do. Whenever I increase fees, it causes someone to leave.
You might find there is a concessionary rate available, or a shorter lesson, and also that a term’s notice is required to quit. That is quite standard. Where I live, there is a charity that offers free music lessons for those on low incomes.
Also btw shocked at the low income. My local vicar and bishop are often to be seen in Waitrose, so I assumed that the income wasn’t as low as I thought, until I read this.

I never said you had to work FOR them???

I said you could do any other job ...

Also, vicars definitely set their own hours to a degree. Outside of set services (and even then they can some times get cover etc) they chose when to work

If the £1997 is to cover costs outside of housing costs (as that is provided) what are you spending the rest on to have such a small budget for food.

No names named, but somebody on here asked 'Is that £40 a week or a monthly fee? How long are the flute lessons?'

No surprises then that ours is not a music nation and all the success our musicians achieve on the world stage is in spite of, rather than because of.

TBH I think you'd be better off selling the one bed flat and then living on the capital, you could get 4% in an interest account and use that towards the extras

when you retire your fast will prevent you obtaining social housing, which is easier to obtain once over 60

I wonder this as I was under the impression vicarages where one of the homes exempt from council tax, so that leaves water, gas, electric and Internet, car and insurances

£40 - for how long? If thats for a 30 minute lesson its extremely high. I pay £30 in a very expensive area near London.

Unless you think this teacher is so in demand that you can't push back.

Avoiding the rent question tbh - pays for itself. So a cheaper rent than average or....?

If the flat is so tiny then it's no good being kept as a potential family home.

Lots of vicars do keep a house for when they retire but they rent it out for enough to easily cover the costs.

How old are the children? You're also avoiding the idea of you working anywhere

surely an £8 increase is nothing in the scheme of things - if you were funding the £32 ok then use £8 of her child benefit to fund the shortfall?

another one who's puzzled as to what you're doing with the £1700 of the monthly stiped that you claim is used by bills? Maybe have another look at that?

Have you ever heated a vicarage? Good friend of mine was a vicar's daughter and their family lived on a tight budget. Beautiful, draughty Victorian house. Solid fuel boiler in the cellar. They shut down half the house every winter. Parents bedroom became sitting room, spare bedrooms shut off, drawing room (yes, I know but back then vicarage often used for parish stuff) shut off. Simply couldn't afford to heat it.

Not sure but friends who have become accidental landlords did so at a loss.

I dont think Vicars pay council tax, water rates, buildings insurance or broadband when they live in the rent free clergy house.

Usually they are only responsible for heating costs.

Music lessons are expensive, they always have been really.

Is the £85 a week a self imposed strict budget rather than nothing left over as there does seem a chunk of money going rogue. Do you save the Child Benefit for something else? Have you prioritised savings instead of a bigger house keeping budget?