Massive increase in cost for lessons, is this normal?

[WouldRatherBeOnaBeach]

As per title, one of my children has flute lessons. Heard last night from the teacher guy that the lesson will be going up from £32 to £40 in the new year, for the same amount of time.

Daughter loves the lessons, but our money is very tight. Husband gives me £85 for the week and I have to find this lesson money out of it as well as feed a household of 5.

I dont understand if things are going up by 3% (or whatever it is ), how are some things going up by SO much. Hubby says I should just pay it as the teacher might not have increased his rates for years, but we’ve only been doing the lessons since the summer and the percentage increase feels huge.

(The teacher is a guy my husband used to work with, not sure if this could be why he just wants me to shut up and pay, to save his embarrassment?!)

I already find it such a juggle to make sure everything is covered on such a low income, I am feeling sad that I now have this additional stress.

Is it me? Am I being unreasonable??

I'm also a private tutor, who tutors English and Maths.

When I want to charge more, I charge that to new clients. Old clients stay on their old rate for however long I have them (very rarely more than about 18 months).
But yeah, if money's that tight, it's private tuition that's the first thing to go, and tutors are very aware of that, and factor it in to their pricing strategy.

I know you’ve asked about the flute lesson increase, but you’re asking in the context of being absolutely brassic, so:

• did you agree to this career change and poverty income?
• Have you ever worked? Just trying to get a sense of what you might be qualified to do because you’ll almost certainly have to get some work when baby is a tiny bit older
• Are you willing to make any changes in the short term, such as selling the flat? I know you want the long term security but you’re skint now, and entitlement to UC will mean extra money and help with childcare so you can work
• How on earth are you going to cope when the other children are old enough for activities, school trips, eating more, etc?

A couple of my colleagues are vicars’ spouses, one man one woman. Both have well paid jobs of their own and the family just has to juggle, use childcare etc.

Have not read all replies to this comment so it may have been mentioned before now (apologies if so) but, if not……

One thing to consider - the 1 bed flat would be considered as a capital asset by UC because the OP and family do not live in it; and if it’s value is more than £16,000 they would have no entitlement to UC because, as soon as your capital or savings exceed £16,000, you can’t claim Uc.So, if the flat was worth £100,000 and the mortgage was less than £84,000 they exceed the capital threshold for claiming UC.

Hmm maybe when they were first built. But if money isn’t spent to maintain them and the tenant can’t afford to they just then they will fall into disrepair. There was a vicars daughter in the year below me at junior school. They lived in a big detached house I was so jealous. I walked past it one weekend on the way to the playing fields and the roof had collapsed and part of the upstairs brickwork.

At school on Monday the vicar came in to speak to us in assembly about what had happened. There hadn’t been any bad weather to cause it. They were just getting ready for the day when they heard a loud crash and the plaster cracking. They had to evacuate with 3 children immediately the house was structurally unsafe. They had to stay with his parents until a new vicarious was built next to the old one. The old vicarious was left to rot.

The church closed a few years ago and both houses were demolished and had houses built on the land.

My dad is a vicar and my mum worked full time as a doctor throughout our childhood. It is possible if you want to do it.

Spending as much on a flute lesson as you do on the family food shop seems crazy.

Depending on the size of your congregation(s) could you find a parishioner to teach your daughter? We have a large music team at my church and a number of the players teach instruments to parishioner children (and adults!) For a nominal price.

I appreciate you may be across several parishes but it was an idea that occurred given your husband's job.

I live in Truro diocese, OP, since you asked 🙂 and I'm absolutely gobsmacked your diocese doesn't pay even your council tax. They are pisstaking.

If this is the case, potentially DH has a bad deal with this particular posting.

Can he put in a request to move elsewhere - how long has he been in this post?

I think you need to go through your finances with a fine tooth comb and maybe look at doing something either a WFH job or things like buying and selling on eBay Etsy etc to get a little more money coming in. Even making videos of your vegetarian lifestyle and how you feed a family of 5 for £50 per week. I can guarantee that would be a hugely popular channel. I am vegetarian and also quite frugal when it comes to my food budget but I have only 4 to feed and haven’t a clue how you get it so low

When you look at insurances each year do you shop around look at comparison sites and cashback sites to get the best deal.

I think that you think that you struggle with money so others will do the same. The cost of living is rising and whilst you are quite happy to live the way you do. Others, like the flute teacher won’t or can’t.

I am struggling to understand how you get through the monthly salary. There does seem to be a huge hole somewhere.

Also could you be entitled to benefits given how low the salary is

Yes but they could use the savings to pay for music lessons and have a more reasonable food budget. It wouldn’t take long just living a normal family life for that £16k to become £6k. I think having a rental property is always going to rule you out of any state financial support. Unless of course there are already other savings….

You don't need to put in a request in the C of E - you're not 'posted', you can just apply for jobs. Obviously you can only apply for jobs you're qualified for (although saying that, you could apply and get lucky with less experience than they want)
It's only if he's in his curacy he'd need to stick it out and that's usually 2 or 3 years only.

I just double checked with the first vicar I saw and here the diocese pay council tax, buildings insurance and water rates plus any structural maintenance - the house will be decorated to a good standard when you move in but you have to maintain interior decoration, painting, carpets if needed etc. But with care shouldn't be needed unless you're in a house a long time.
I was wrong about broadband, apparently you're supposed to be able to claim that from your PCC (via expenses) but few do and the heating/electric proportion is claimed through your tax return.

I would ask the flute teacher if he has another pupil she could share lessons with as you can’t afford it.

Regarding DH you need him to convert to being a baptist minister, seems they look after their property better!

Sorry OP, but I personally can't understand why you ever agreed to him doing a job like this, when you have children to consider. It sounds like a rather selfish move, to change career to something that gives your wife and family a much worse standard of living.

So if he’s been there more than 2/3 years could apply for a job elsewhere with better cover.

Maybe the salary seemed reasonable given nil housing costs and in other dioceses more expenses are covered too.

Another baby was an odd choice in the circs, particularly as it apparently means OP can’t work for the moment. Unless it was an accident. Two incomes and they’d be fine.

When your dh said that he wanted to be a vicar, how did he expect to afford to do the job.

OP, you have a situation where you are (in my opinion foolishly) choosing to keep a second property. You would be far better selling the flat and putting the proceeds into pensions (you can only put £2880 into yours per year as you are not earning), but HMRC will add 25% extra straight way, so your £2,880 becomes £3,600 and your husbands £12k will become £15k. But pay off the debts first!

Then because you don’t have a second property you will be eligible for Universal Credit.

If you want to still live on £56 a week for food then put the extra into pensions (or savings but make sure your joint savings don’t go over £6k).

The equity from the flat will increase in the pension just the same as it would in the flat (in fact the stock market has historically given far better returns than housing) and a pension does not stop you getting Universal Credit - it would be sensible imho to wait at least 3 months after the money has gone into your pensions to apply for universal credit.

It is not at all foolish for clergy to have a property. They will need somewhere to retire to, and keeping hold of a home enables them to do that. Clergy retirement homes are few and far between these days. The obligation to live in tied housing creates an unusual situation which was not penalised by child tax credits but is clobbered by Universal Credit.
The good news is that there will be a substantial increase in clergy stipends next year, after clergy poverty was recognised by General Synod. Clergy pensions are also being addressed, after these too fell below acceptable levels.

It’s back last century now, but as a vicarage child there were sometimes pots of money that became available for genuine clergy hardship. Talking to an archdeacon or area Dean would have been the first step but I am thankfully a very long time past thst stage of my life.

Also clergy tax can be complicated. There are specialist accountants who can help, my clergy parent always found it made the money back.

And sadly, you need to earn once childcare can be covered.

Where will they live when he retires?

I’m all for making sensible provision for retirement, but that’s probably 20+ years away and she’s got £85 a week to feed, clothe, and give flute lessons to a family of 5 right now!

All it would take to go from teetering on the edge to utter disaster is her being unable to breastfeed the newborn. They simply cannot afford to keep the flat.

Ok so say ditch the property and wing it for 20 years - where do they live when they retire?

Well not quite. The clothes come out of the child benefit money and the flute lessons are entirely optional… I think there are better ways to save (or make!) money than selling the flat, which they will need to live in at some point. He’s not going to have a huge pension to allow them to private rent when he retires by the sounds of it!

Yes, I mean all their options are terrible but ultimately that’s because he’s chosen this ridiculous and unaffordable career change, she’s presumably supported it, they’ve added a third child into the mix and she claims it’s completely impossible for her to do any paid work!