Good teeth as dating non-negotiable

[ThatJollyGreySquid]

I went on a date on Sunday with a man I met through OLD. He was interesting, clever, polite, good company and attractive- but his teeth were awful; several missing and the remainder horribly stained. He isn’t on a low income, so could afford to have them sorted out. I would definitely have seen him again, and a friend thought I was daft to reject him based on something shallow like teeth.

AIBU to insist on decent teeth? Not veneers or really white, just normal clean teeth?

I would have agreed with you but I’ve just started a relationship with someone with bad teeth and it’s irrelevant. There are other reasons that I’m very attracted to him. There are a couple of other things about him too which would have led me to rejecting him in OLD.
The motto is, keep an open mind. Don’t make red lines out of things that aren’t red lines.
I would say though that good oral hygiene is a must.

I could NEVER be with anyone with bad teeth. I have severe anxiety around teeth and I am obsessed with my own teeth and visit the dentist every other month.

I think good teeth are very important, I'm amazed how many people have bad teeth on TV. I've always looked after mine, and quite understand why you find it off-putting. I personally would put that in the top of my list if I was looking for a relationship.

Well it is unattractive for one.
It doesn't necessarily indicate poor hygiene as there are a variety of reasons why people's teeth decay and discolour.

In your shoes I'd have another date and maybe gently pry the conversation over to teeth, he may be in the middle of a consult period to get work done and you'd be none the wiser.

Poor dental hygiene is very different from just staining and crooked, so I would say it could depend.

Good oral hygiene is absolutely essential. I guess bad teeth are a clear sign of poor oral hygiene, and nothing bothers me more than bad breath. It genuinely offends me when someone with bad breath gets too close. It makes me really angry and uncomfortable. Like I never want to speak to or see that human ever again. And they should know better. And be nowhere near other humans. And why can’t they taste how bad their mouth smells.

It will cost me £18k to get my teeth fixed, mine are not obvious, back teeth, but no NHS dentist in either the county I live in or the neighbouring county, hasn’t been for years.

You are absolutely entitled to not date someone for ANY reason.

Personally I think good oral hygiene is an absolute requirement for someone you want to be swapping saliva with. I couldn't consider someone with bad teeth. Not that they need Turkey teeth, or absolutely straight and gleaming white, but they need to not look like they are auditioning for Pirates of the Caribbean

Slightly crooked teeth: sure; but missing teeth? Nope, I’d be fixated on them the whole time he was talking.

Yes good point. Stained or crooked teeth is fine. That’s just a minor thing that’s down to the person aesthetically if they want to change anything. But bad breath on anyone, for me, is non negotiable and inexcusable.

Yes, I agree. If someone has manky/bad teeth, I would wonder about their general hygiene. Chances are their personal hygiene is poor too, and I would not want to get intimate with them. OR go to their house. Chances are, they will stink, and their home will stink too.

edited to add: I am NOT on about people with crooked, mis-shapen, or forward teeth/overbite. I mean teeth that have clearly been neglected!

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I think if he hasn’t bothered to sort out missing and stained teeth his hygiene is quite likely to be poor. It’s you that would have to snog him not your friend so yanbu

Everyone is entitled to their own dating preferences, good dental hygiene is a very normal one imo.

No it would be a deal breaker for me and I couldn’t get over it

I started teething in my late 30s so my once nice teeth now look like ‘bad teeth’ because the ones that didn’t arrive in my childhood/teens have turned up all over the place creating gaps and an unsightly smile.

my dentist says it’s cosmetic to have them removed (it isn’t but that’s another debate) so won’t do them on the nhs and while I’m eligible for nhs braces because of the mess these new teeth have caused there is no one in the country that will do nhs braces for adults over 26.

i know nobody would date me now but I can’t afford the £10k + to fix this weird and rare anomaly. I always get quite upset when I read how people judge those of us with imperfect mouths.

as long as someone’s teeth and breath are clean and don’t smell then I’d date someone with less than perfect teeth

IME bad and/or strained teeth are typically the result of various things like, rolled, unfiltered tobacco, red wine and having a glass of milk before bedtime, after you’ve done your teeth.

Basically things that anyone can change, so if they can’t then that’s a big red flag.

Bad teeth are not genetic!

Slightly odd answer but you should listen to the Davina begin again podcast with Peter Crone as they discuss first date icks in a really interesting way.

• stained teeth!

I can’t do bad teeth. I don’t care how shallow that is. I went on two dates with a guy whose teeth were crooked, had a big gap in the front and were stained yellow and brown.

I am amazed I did two dates. There was no third.

It’s your call. Why would anyone else care if you insist on it? And are you seriously going to change your opinion if you get more YABU votes?

You friend sounds like the desperate type.

Teeth missing would be a big no , no for me . Slightly crooked or not perfectly white I’d be ok with once clean obviously.
Teeth missing shows they’re not too bothered by their appearance.
I like a man to care about how he looks , not OTT into himself , but certainly not have missing teeth .

Nearly spat out my ice lolly with your last sentence there🤣🤣🤣

You can say it’s not money related, do you know how expensive the dentist is for minimum work? This thread is so soul destroying (from someone with horrendous teeth who already finds it difficult enough) Surely personality makes up for bad teeth

No. It does not. Not for me.