Good teeth as dating non-negotiable

[ThatJollyGreySquid]

I went on a date on Sunday with a man I met through OLD. He was interesting, clever, polite, good company and attractive- but his teeth were awful; several missing and the remainder horribly stained. He isn’t on a low income, so could afford to have them sorted out. I would definitely have seen him again, and a friend thought I was daft to reject him based on something shallow like teeth.

AIBU to insist on decent teeth? Not veneers or really white, just normal clean teeth?

Agreed.

As with every thread about non-negotiables when dating, it's never unreasonable to have deal breakers and it doesn't matter whether anyone else thinks they're unreasonable. Whether that's teeth, money, politics, whatever.

The consequence of this might be you reducing your pool and missing out on an otherwise great match, but if you prefer that then you prefer it. And it's not really fair on someone to pursue a relationship with them even though there's something that gives you the ick.

I am older than a lot of you so perhaps more relaxed about missing teeth, but at least look after the ones you have, because poor oral hygiene is an absolute turn off.

Poor oral hygiene suggests to me a lack of self-esteem and self-worth and that would definitely put me off dating someone.

Not as much, no.

I could never dated or went out with a person with bad teeth. its a MUST for me. good hygiene as a whole. daily shower, good perfume, smell. good underwear, not armpit BS, I cant. I am not from UK, been here more than 15 years and I still cant quite understand how people do not put DENTAL health as a priority, call it cultural, but my parents had no money and made sure my sister & I had a great dental routine with appointments every 6 months, fixing if any issues etc. my kid has been born & raised in UK and she goes twice a year to the dentist, teaching her very young. Married an American- excellent dental health, never had a cavity. ON THESE TIMES & DAYS THERE IS NO EXCUSE. you can finance it, you can save, etc. is just not a priority for people i think. GOOD LUCK!

If they can't even organise brushing their own teeth, then what does the rest of their life look like?

nahhh. I smoked a lot too, my teeth are clean & white because i take care of them. He is making excuses and does not want to spent the money on it being cheap. He could get a flight and go somewhere cheaper but he wont. I do all my annual dentist stuff in Spain- not because I cant afford it here- but because the quality is top in there- and I have not trust in dentist here- sorry- not sorry

My DS aged 29 has bad teeth - none missing, but a chipped front tooth & needs several fillings. I've posted about him wanting me to pay for them to be sorted which, if you look at my post, I'm willing to do with conditions.

The nearest NHS dentist that is taking on new patients is more than 200 miles away.

This is something that the Govt really needs to look at. Dentists don't just look at teeth. Mine <private> asks about my general health, feels my lymph glands under my chin, asks me to move my tongue around as he's checking for mouth cancers & other problems. It's so short-sighted to not prioritise dental and oral health - could save the NHS £millions overall in terms of cancers & other serious issues that get missed.

Luckily, it does for anyone ever worth even considering interacting with at all let alone having a relationship with.

Bad, manky teeth are a deal breaker for me.

Extremely harsh when you consider that oral hygiene is not the only cause of bad breath. Causes include strong-smelling foods and drinks, dry mouth, smoking, certain medical conditions like acid reflux or diabetes, and infections in the mouth, nose, or throat.

I quite like slightly crooked teeth, David Bowie style sort of thing. Adds character.

I don't like bright white teeth, but I like clean looking teeth. Normal shade of white/sort of off yellow (that's a horrible descriptor, I do not mean yellow yellow) is okay. Clean, healthy teeth.

Brown stains? Nope. Missing teeth? Absolutely not. Any sign of poor oral hygiene? No thank you. I'm afraid I just wouldn't be able to get over it. I am really careful with my teeth because they're quite thin, and I have a couple of fillings so I'm not exactly a walking advert for a perfect smile. But they're clean, and I would go out of my way to get them fixed if the worst came to the worst.

I have a dear friend who's teeth are very badly stained and it's a genetic thing. There's stuff he could do apparently, but he doesn't. He has the funds. He was interested in me romantically and tried courting me before I met my DH, but the teeth just put me off, and that may be shallow but I'm afraid it's just how it is. The thought of kissing him made me feel repulsed and that made me feel awful, as he's genuinely a nice man. But it was an absolute no go for me.

What?
You'd go for a second date and humiliate the guy by very clearly meaning his teeth?
Away you go

I agree. I work with several people with the most horrifically bad teeth. They have teeth missing and black teeth on display. Just awful. I couldn’t date someone with such bad teeth. How would you even kiss them? I don’t mind wonky teeth and don’t expect glowing white teeth, but teeth with visible plaque build up make me shudder.

What dont you believe? Have had several people I have met with perfect teeth for this reason - half the crew who put in my bathroom cheerfully told me all about their addiction history and how they got their replacement teeth as a result.

Also think that too perfect teeth are often too white or too large and dont look great.

Wrong..Amelogenesis Imperfecta is a genetic condition that causes abnormal development of tooth enamel, affecting both baby and permanent teeth. The enamel can be thin, weak, pitted, or discolored, leading to teeth that are prone to chipping, breaking, and decay. This can cause dental pain, sensitivity, misalignment, and an open bite, often impacting quality of life.

'TOP of the list'? Come on, think what you've just said!!!!

I know someone (for the sake of argument let's call them 'me') who has had an operation for mouth cancer. The Reconstructive Dentistry people are doing their best, but it's still a bit of a mess and it's a toss-up week by week whether any given tooth is broken, a work in progress or missing completely.

Fortunately, I'm not in the relationship market at the moment. But, if I was - well, I don't often get annoyed by the silly things people say here. It's fun to play at being a princess sometimes! But that got to me.

Yeah if no financial issues then they shouldn't be missing or dirty looking. Ideally.

Oh no that would give me the ick.

If your parents had no money let how did they afford the dentist. Dentists aren't cheap in UK. Maybe cheaper where you grew up

I do understand what you’re saying OP , my teeth are good 🤷🏻‍♀️, my children have good teeth , but you must understand it’s not always possible for everyone to save for dentists when paying big mortgages , putting away money for car insurance , college for children, Christmas .
Some people have health issues , medical by no means cheap .
There are lots of other things in life that have to be prioritised before Dental care .
I feel it unfair of you to say “ There is no excuse “ .

That's a priority in my household. If we don't eat out we get teeth fixed.

You can save for it. I pay a big mortgage too and my kid sees the dentist twice a year. Will you put of a trush infection? My parents saved money. Never went abroad for good education & health care for the kids.

I don't mind a bit of wonkiness, or if they're not bright white, but clean and tidy is important and fresh breath. Not missing teeth, black/brown stains etc.

You’re clearly missing the point of my above post !
Not everyone is the same in life .
Every one in life has different circumstances.
You seem to not be able to understand this .
My children visit the dentist once a year , it’s what I can afford !