Good teeth as dating non-negotiable

[ThatJollyGreySquid]

I went on a date on Sunday with a man I met through OLD. He was interesting, clever, polite, good company and attractive- but his teeth were awful; several missing and the remainder horribly stained. He isn’t on a low income, so could afford to have them sorted out. I would definitely have seen him again, and a friend thought I was daft to reject him based on something shallow like teeth.

AIBU to insist on decent teeth? Not veneers or really white, just normal clean teeth?

No I would not rule someone out who was otherwise extremely attractive and I was compatible with.

Bad breath is a problem. Bad teeth, no.

I'm not perfect and I don't expect everyone else to be either.

Maybe. The vast majority of the time however, bad/rotten/brown teeth is nothing to do with 'genetics.'

That's lovely for you. Other people are entitled to be put off by someone with bad/rotten teeth, or missing teeth, and foul smelling breath.

Yep. My friend had to have her teeth removed in her 30’s due to a hereditary condition - her dad had the sabe and her brother had also had his teeth removed.

Shes had a full set of dentures for over 20 years - nothing to do with poor hygiene or neglect , just genetic bad luck.

And her hygiene and personal grooming is excellent btw

Couldn't kiss a stinky mouth🤮🤮
Op I misread your title ..I thought it said gold teeth.🤦

@Thechaseison71No, not at all, that’s something completely different. I didn’t mean to sound harsh toward anyone with crooked or missing teeth for other reasons. What really bothers me is poor hygiene that leads to bad breath. There’s just no real excuse for that; toothpaste and mouthwash are inexpensive, and neglecting oral hygiene can actually cause other health problems too. Bad breath is really unpleasant. I think I just think of the mouth bacteria that must be entering my space for me to be able to smell it.

You are not unreasonable

Good teeth and gum maintenance yes, but doesn't get rid of staining. Official teeth whitening is still fairly new in this country. I've just started at age 60! As you say tea, coffee, red wine - all horrors. So a red flag? May be you are younger?

Well DH’s teeth are stained and crooked but he’s the kindest person I’ve ever met in my life and would lay down or die for me or DS, so on balance I’d take that over a full turkey set nestled in the gob of a bellend anyday.

If that was literally the only issue, I don’t think i
would end it. Depends on the extent - not straight, maybe a bit discoloured, not a major issue. Rotting black teeth and cavities obviously not. Good people are few and far between, and I’d be prepared to compromise.

I fully agree on bad breath. It's really off-putting

Erm, did you read what I posted? Bizarrely defensive and also I agree with you on your point about breath 😅

The OP asked for opinions I was merely offering mine.

Of course they are. People are quite clearly saying that the appearance of a person's teeth, missing, crooked or stained would be a deal breaker, because they couldn't stand to kiss them. That they would assume the person had poor oral hygiene, poor general hygiene, a dirty home and bad breath. All on the appearance of their teeth. What caused the persons teeth to discolour, fall out or be crooked makes no difference at all to the appearance of the teeth. So of course they're including people with illness, disability and who've had accidents in that. Which is their perogative, but should be owned.

Perfectly valid reason. And even if it was shallow, preferences are preferences and it’s better you don’t force yourself.

My teeth aren’t as nice as my boyfriend’s or as nice as I wish they’d be (no one in my family seems to be blessed with naturally good teeth) and I’ve been delaying work on them as it’s quite expensive, but I can’t imagine having the funds and not doing it. It’s such an important part of your overall health.

I am referring not to crooked teeth, but to absent and decaying ones.

Bad teeth can be genetic. You just ask those suffering from conditions like ectodermal dysplasia.

Its pretty unattractive. Although if they are too perfect I would be suspicious - too many druggies need them all replaced.

Teeth are non negotiable.

Yanbu. I am the same. Bad teeth = bad breath and that is such a turn off. Like licking a rubbish bin. 🤮

I’m in full agreement with you. I tried getting past it but ended cutting a second date short as I couldn’t kiss him. So annoying.

I can't stick bad teeth in a man. Im 63 and make sure any gaps have implants in them, I get them whitened when they need it and go to the hygienist every 6 months. I could not kiss a horrible mouth. God knows what bacteria they are harbouring in a dirty mouth.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to quote you @musicalfrog ! And I can't even remember who my post was meant to quote now. 😆

Sorry!

Dentistry is expensive. Genetics and ageing can be cruel. I could be forgiving to a point, like I wouldn’t mind a crooked tooth or a gap, but I also get the ick at decayed/unclean teeth. If they can’t clean their mouth, god knows what downstairs is like!

You can have anything you want as a non-negotiable. If you can't get past it, you can't get past it - it's important to find a partner attractive, and I'm sure everyone has at least something they just can't look past.

I would, however, disagree with all the PPs insisting that discoloured or missing teeth automatically equals poor hygiene and bad breath. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't - staining doesn't affect the health of teeth, and there's a multitude of reasons that people can lose teeth that have nothing to do with decay and poor hygiene.

For me, it would just depend on the individual, the rest of their looks, what kind of dental issues he actually had etc. For example, I could easily look past a missing premolar in a really attractive man, and I actually quite like men with certain types of crooked or chipped teeth. But missing front teeth, or a mouth full of decaying stumps, would certainly put me off.

Although if they are too perfect I would be suspicious - too many druggies need them all replaced

🙄