Good teeth as dating non-negotiable

[ThatJollyGreySquid]

I went on a date on Sunday with a man I met through OLD. He was interesting, clever, polite, good company and attractive- but his teeth were awful; several missing and the remainder horribly stained. He isn’t on a low income, so could afford to have them sorted out. I would definitely have seen him again, and a friend thought I was daft to reject him based on something shallow like teeth.

AIBU to insist on decent teeth? Not veneers or really white, just normal clean teeth?

I think with the over 55s it’s generally a bit hit and miss with how crooked one’s teeth are.
OP is it back teeth or front ones that are missing?

i was only born with 2 of my 4 adult front teeth so I have bridges, but they can get knocked out. My oral hygiene is impeccable. I would never judge someone until I knew their story. My ex husband had teeth and was horrendously abusive. My now partner has some teeth missing. He again has fantastic hygiene and breath and has teeth on a retainer plate, he just lost teeth through sports. I’d rather the less teeth and no abuse

You get to choose who you date and can reject anyone for any reason or no reason at all. I don’t really understand the need to ask if you’re being unreasonable.

It would be a dealbreaker for me too. If it’s shallow to not want to date someone that you find physically repellent then I’m quite happily shallow.

That's ridiculous. A neglected childhood can mean bad teeth. Poor health, certain conditions, certain medications etc can mean bad teeth. It doesn't reflect on a person's hygiene, especially their home.
This is going to be an issue many WC children will have, as well as the low waged. There isn't NHS dentists about. Threaseholds are tgat low that a child needing multiple teeth removed under 7, doesn't even hit the radar.

I have missing teeth and I can't get them fixed they happened when I had a seizure and fell on cement 😕 not all bad teeth means they don't look after them

Well my teeth are stained because of medication I’m on. There’s no amount of hygienist appointments that will change it and without the meds I’ll die. Luckily my boyfriend isn’t superficial and loves me and my yellowish teeth. All clean and fresh just yellow unfortunate but I wouldn’t want turkey teeth anyway as they look vile.

Research suggests a great deal is due to genetics. What you do afterwards (live with it vs get cosmetic treatment) is not genetic.

I couldn't date someone with poor oral hygiene.

Bad teeth can definitely be genetic though. My husband brushes, flosses, eats healthy, uses prescription toothpaste, and sees a hygienist regularly and still gets the occasional cavity. I just brush twice a day and have never had a cavity in my life.

There are lots of genetic causes for bad teeth, our son lacks enamel on his teeth, this has been inherited.

No worries at all! Have a good day 😊

You don’t want another date. The reason is irrelevant. Tell your ‘friend’ she can have his number.

Honestly, the ‘Ick’ you overlook on the first date because you somehow feel bad about upsetting this virtual stranger will probably become a massive cross for you to bear. I speak from experience.

Just to point out as it seems relevant on this thread. One of the worst things for teeth staining is actually mouthwash. Especially Corsodyl! Expensive.and unnecessary.

I'll never go back to it.

Floss regularly and only rinse with warm salty water if you have sore gums. No staining.

That’s interesting, re: mouthwash.

It seems very commonplace these days. Must be due to the cost.

I find it hard to cope if I don’t like how they dress 🙈 😂 😂

My friend and I were looking for a particular hardware store and weren't sure whether to go left or right so we stopped and asked a couple of builders who were working nearby. Both lovely friendly fit guys, young enough to be our sons but that's another matter, who gave us directions.

One of them, the more conventionally handsome of the two, had the worst teeth I've ever seen - gaps, some blackened, yellow, just awful. For the life of me I can't think that nothing at all could be done to improve them just a bit. He did look just like a pirate.

Just to say he had a London accent, so not like he's come from a poor country and hasn't had a chance yet to sort his teeth.

Good teeth and good oral hygiene determine gut and brain health. I wouldn’t be with anyone who’s got bad teeth. And I don’t mean slightly crooked or uneven - I would also be seriously turned off by “turkey teeth”.

I have extremely good hygiene. Brush twice a day, shower/bath twice a day, do my make up and style my hair, but my back teeth aren’t good due to having thyroid and parathyroid issues so calcium deficiency. I’m signed off work and don’t have the funds to put it all right at the moment.
Such a shame people are so quick to judge, like it isn’t something that can’t be repaired.
Very shallow. No wonder so many MN’ers are single.

Same here. My meds have destroyed my teeth and my bones.

What about if they wore dentures to cover the missing teeth? Would that still bother you?

The thing is, once something puts you off then you’re put off. I think when you’re going into the dating world those things stand out like a sore thumb. I couldn’t be with someone with bad teeth (I have no issue with crooked!) or that didn’t have a beard. I just wouldn’t find them attractive no matter how lovely they were.

TBH reading people’s own experience with health problems that lead to teeth issues, it’s making me reflect on my approach, if there are genuine health issues that can also lead to bad breath then I’ll definitely think twice before judging. I just assumed that there was no excuse for bad breath. Crooked or missing teeth, or some staining from aging, fine. But bad breath has always been inexcusable for me. If there are genuine health complications that can lead to bad breath with no solution, then I will definitely reflect on my judgment.

Oh my god.
Unbelievable.

It's unattractive for one, but could be caused by poor childhood health leading to poor enamel. If you like him enough to date again, ask the question perhaps?
My red flag when I was dating was always 'has a nice kind mother' because without fail all my male boyfriends & best friends (that were nice people) also happened to have really nice mothers. Not a coincidence I'm sure.