Christmas now unaffordable

[purplepentagram]

Is there even any point in me bothering with the tree, decs and all that goes with it. When I can’t even afford to do any shopping.
all you see in the news is all about how those on benefits are so better off and living a life a luxury…. Well can someone point me in the right direction cause our life sucks.
things were ok till my husbands health took a turn for the worse.which is also starting to effect our marriage - for that might as well be over an all. He is now under investigation due to neurological tremors and a few other things. I’m also disabled with physical and neurological issues. I get some pip and my husband gets carers.( he’s not applied for pip due to believing all the nastiness that’s currently going round) Our universal credit is 1085 a month after deductions. Our rent is 700 of that. So we’re living off less than 500 a month. By the time Iv paid all the bills there is nothing left. So what’s the point in even carrying on anymore. Things were manageable even after our youngest child dropped off our claim. ( he’s still in college full time and at home) my daughter has left and gone to uni. My eldest 2 have their own life’s. Am I wrong in telling them not to bother coming home this year and asking my son if he can find a friends to go to instead. We’re down to 2 meals a week, minimal heating due to the amount that British Gas is asking for each month. Iv cancelled everything I could from insurance policies to subscriptions, internet ( that’s due to go off any day now) life is miserable and I can’t seem to find anyway out. We can’t afford to move, or even get on the council list. All the local help has stopped applications and I can’t even get a food bank referral. There is nothing left in our town and trying to find work is impossible. Just keep getting refused. So no Christmas for us this year and the kids have all been told not to bother since there is nothing. I just feel that the only way would be if we wasn’t here to be a burden. We don’t have any other family or friends. So that’s not an option either. Rather fed up on life and how the news is portraying things when it’s way far from reality.

Do make sure you are on a priority list with your energy provider too. And water.

And agree with others. You do have to apply for assistance. It won't get to you otherwise.

Thank you for coning back op. I have worked in an area where I know how unbelievably shit it is for people and have experienced a fair bit of it myself. It is bloody exhausting and I found it very hard and know other people experiencing multiple issues felt like they were banging their head against a brick wall and completely knackered.If it were as it should be then you wouldn't be on here! I obviously hope that you are able to get through to someone that can help you get the support you need and help you navigate through it all.

If it makes you feel better there’s been a few threads recently by people going through a hard time and almost every single one has been torn to pieces, accused of being fake/troll, accused of “it being your own fault” etc etc.
I think it’s absolutely vile and don’t understand why people bother commenting on something they think is fake or making shitty comments to someone who’s already going through a hard time. I mean seriously WHO are these people they need better hobbies

There is help out there. Fine you say your local Citizens advice is closed, so ring them. It’s a free number, they take a while to answer but they will eventually. They will help

Just to add as well OP it doesn't matter your religious background many churches have out reach programmes, Sikh temples have eat together you do not have to be from that religion to talk and see if they have any information.

Often they know who to contact and do care and that's the first step you need to do. Adult social services but also charities and other support services.

There is help out there but you have to make the first step and reach out.

Yes, heard it too. Tend to believe what I hear on the Today programme.
After taxes, £71k isn’t a particularly large household income for a working family now (the case study family won’t be receiving anywhere near £71k, just what the working family receives after deductions.)

Surely if you only ate twice a week, sometimes not even that you'd be dead?

Such outlandish figures are usually based on living in a council home so having super cheap rent (you cannot just choose to live like that it’s a decades long waiting list in most places) and having multiple disabled children (can you honestly say you’d want your children to be disabled in order to have a little more money?)

And to top it off they usually compare it with a family paying private rent/ a mortgage in LONDON of course they won’t be much better off. So misleading

@purplepentagram I'm sorry to hear all of this but as others have said, you need an action plan. I'd forget about Xmas costs because you have far more pressing issues.

1 Your husband can apply for PIP but his carers' allowance may be reassessed because if he's giving 35 hours a week of care to you, they will ask how he is able to do that if he thinks he is eligible for PIP.

2 Is he unable to work? Has he not worked for some time? Assume so, or he couldn't get 35 hours of carers' allowance. Is there work he could do from home depending on his skills? Many jobs now are WFH.

3 If he is the most able-bodied, he needs to go to your GP in person (not phone) and get his own investigations for his blood cancer accelerated AND he needs to make an appointment for you to discuss your diet.

IF you only eat food on 2 days a week, you will die. That's starvation. If you mean you nibble or snack on 5 days and only eat proper meals on 2 days that's different. What medical support do you have if you have not seen a Dr for 12 months? How are you getting repeats of your injections?

4 Your 20 yr old son needs to do something to earn money. Is he SEND? Is that why he's retaking GCSEs at 20? I doubt he's at college full time if he's doing English and Maths. What is his career plan ? Are those 2 GCSEs going to enable him to do other training? What does he want to study for? Is an NVQ (similar things) or an apprenticeship not more useful? Has he tried local shops for shelf stacking jobs? Local cafes? A few hours in a pub?

Maybe sit down with your husband and talk over what each of you needs to do.

I know! But can you not see that a person who doesn't use their gas heating because they can't afford to is paying a standing charge for absolutely nothing? (Well, hot water I guess, which is why they'd need an electric shower to go gas-less). That's money that could be used for something, that's all I'm saying.

It's basic maths. If someone pays £20 a month for example for a standing charge for gas but isn't using the gas, that's £20 wasted. They'll already be paying the standing charge for electricity regardless, and that's not pointless because they'll be using lights, washing machine, shower etc. So that £20 gas charge, that's wasted money getting them nothing, could instead be used for a little electricity to heat the place a bit. I'm not saying electricity is a cheaper form of heating, I'm saying desperate people wasting money paying for something they can't afford to actually use is a pointless thing to do.

Your GP practice will have female GPs if that is the only Dr you're willing to see.

You can now also make appts online and have online consultations.

Have you tried those? You're able to use the internet, by posting here, so maybe use the online services for your GP?

You can easily qualify as caring for 35 hours a week while working full time, though obviously you then would be earning too much to qualify.

Lots of GPs don't have this service. Mine doesn't, just the phone every morning option.

I do think OPs first point of call should be contacting adult social services as it sounds like they need a lot of support. I hope they would be able to help OP access appropriate support and apply for the correct financial support.

Failing that OP I think you may need to go through the thread and make a list of the advice on here and go through them maybe one thing per day depending what you find manageable and hopefully there will be some help available.

That wasn't the point I was making - not about his hours of work.
It was about his capacity to act as a carer while also needing PIP for himself. The information online says in such circumstances there would be an assessment of each.

Lots of GPs don't have this service. Mine doesn't, just the phone every morning option.

well, according to Wes Streeting who spoke on this today , all GPs should or be on the way to setting this up.

“all you see in the news is all about how those on benefits are so better off and living a life a luxury”

You must have missed all the news reports about people ‘on benefits’ who have died of starvation or suicide in recent years. The statistics about people who have been sanctioned or wrongly declared for for work, who died shortly afterwards. The astronomical rise in the need for food banks (and baby banks, hygiene banks, uniform banks, fuel banks, warm hubs, pop up shelters for rough sleepers in cold weather…)

It’s interesting how everyone who complains that other people are seemingly ‘getting a free council house’ and ‘living the high life on benefits’ don’t just jack their jobs in and do it themselves. It’s almost like they know it’s not actually the easy, lazy, money-for-nothing option they demonise it to be.

Far more people are cheating the system through tax evasion/avoidance and cash in hand undeclared income - but because those lifestyles are seen as aspirational or rebellious, it’s not as trendy to complain about that 🙃

I’m not sure citing suicide rates for people who had their benefits removed, or the rise in food banks, often used by the employed, really supports the argument.

@ElsaPeretti Yes, completely agree, that needed to be said.As l’ve already mentioned, l work in health care, it’s not easy for people to access help, contrary to what some people on here believe.

Just a thought, there’s been a welfare state, for over 80 years, why all the demonisation now?

@Franklyannoyed And there we have it, you see it as an argument.Why does it need to be an argument.

There’s just been a new thread started, called "I have a mission to p* off the daily fail readers every morning Someone bragging and how it makes them feel good to make a story up, about someone working full time taking home £2800, claiming £3,000 in childcare and rent, due to the cost of living.
This poster, says they make up stories every day, their goal to make people angry!
What an awful thing to do! I mean, on mn and newspaper columns, comment sections, social media, l always thought there are people making things up, to cause division, anger.There is someone on MN bragging about doing exactly this!
Don’t know what anyone else thinks, only that what you read, on social media, take with a huge pinch of salt! Because there are people freely admitting they are purposefully making things up, spreading lies Disgusting!

That is disgusting I agree @Justchilling07

So your husband is receiving carers allowance, but is now struggling to do the basics, like cook a meal? And you are not safe in a kitchen. The way that you are describing your situation, with both of you not being capable, makes it sound as though you should be living in a care facility, not on your own.

I think a little outside help would be more appropriate and perfectly adequate.

Can you not see that by heating with electricity instead of gas, theyll be spending a lot more than the money they save on gas standing charge, especially if they don't already have some sort of night time storage heaters (which they won't if the heating is currently gas)?