Page 6 | DP putting his foot in it when meeting my friends for first time

Lurker25 · 2025-12-01T20:50:59+00:00

I moved away from my hometown a few years ago for work, so don’t get back often. However I met up with friends over the weekend and introduced them to my DP. He rather put his foot in it, but swears it was nerves and he meant nothing by it. To not be too graphic, he basically told one of my friends that his ex would ‘allow’ a specific sex act at Christmas and on his Birthday. I wasn’t part of said conversation, but my friend told me and he admitted it. My friend said it was barely relevant to their conversation. Would you give him the benefit of the doubt if he’s otherwise been a great partner? Or do you think it’s a sign?

Misanthropologie · 02/12/2025 11:36

It's not a conventional conversation starter, no. Has he form for TMI?

bigboykitty · 02/12/2025 11:40

'Putting his foot in it' doesn't really cover it OP. He's a total creep with terrible boundaries, but I expect you've got that message now.

Samiloff · 02/12/2025 11:58

Crass and ick-inducing but unlike most of the other posters I don’t think it’s completely unforgivable. I would never have said anything like that, but I have said some pretty stupid things in the past when trying too hard with new people. If that’s the first thing he’s done that you don’t like I’d give him the benefit of the doubt just this once.

BunnyLake · 02/12/2025 11:58

Just imagine him at your work’s Christmas do, your parents for dinner, or just about any social event. This would be enough for me to know he wasn’t right for me.

B1anche · 02/12/2025 12:01

ThisTaupeZebra · 02/12/2025 10:53

You are getting some po-faced responses here OP.

It's not great behaviour, but if it is a genuine one-off then I would put it down to nerves and foot-in-mouth syndrome. Almost like he was trying to show-off/banter with your friends and it all just went terribly wrong?

I would expect a genuine arsehole to have come up with something a bit more offensive than some 80s/90s sitcom crap tbh.

How old are you both, and has he apologised yet?

Wow...be careful you don't trip over that low bar of yours.

It's not about being "po-faced", it's about having dignity and self-respect.

Nerves and foot-in-mouth? He was talking to people he had only just met about sex with his reluctant ex-girlfriend. Do you always make excuses for men's bad behaviour? No wonder so many think they can get away with it.

TwistedWonder · 02/12/2025 12:03

B1anche · 02/12/2025 12:01

Wow...be careful you don't trip over that low bar of yours.

It's not about being "po-faced", it's about having dignity and self-respect.

Nerves and foot-in-mouth? He was talking to people he had only just met about sex with his reluctant ex-girlfriend. Do you always make excuses for men's bad behaviour? No wonder so many think they can get away with it.

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Let’s not forget the drink driving that the OP doesn’t think it’s an issue because ‘it’s only a couple of pints’

Until i joined this site, I had no idea that so many women make excuses for low bar men

B1anche · 02/12/2025 12:06

TwistedWonder · 02/12/2025 12:03

Let’s not forget the drink driving that the OP doesn’t think it’s an issue because ‘it’s only a couple of pints’

Until i joined this site, I had no idea that so many women make excuses for low bar men

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Yes, I guess they'd rather have anything than no man at all. I saw "dick before dignity" quoted on here recently. Seems it's true for a lot of women.

Petitchat · 02/12/2025 12:13

Lurker25 · 01/12/2025 20:58

He’d had a couple of pints at that point but was driving so that was all.

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He doesn't think much of you if he's drinking two pints then driving you around...

sonjadog · 02/12/2025 12:18

Did you post about this before? I remember a similar thread a while back...

Checknotmymate · 02/12/2025 12:20

CorvusPurpureus · 01/12/2025 21:15

Plus he shouldn't be having 'a couple of pints' if he's driving. No, chuck this one back, he's a dickhead.

Agree. That's the worst thing. If you're driving you don't drink.

Hoppinggreen · 02/12/2025 12:26

If thinking a man discussing a sex act with a female friend of his GF's the first time he meets her when the subject is Christmas Day is awful makes me "Po Faced" then thats fine

Citrusbergamia · 02/12/2025 12:29

A friends new BF did something along these lines when we first met him; making totally inappropriate comments about sex. 2nd and last time I saw him, he made a derogatory comment about my friends body shape😳I never saw him again after that (as I refused to).

Turns out he was a serial cheater and has been caught doing something illegal for which he'll go down for (of a sexual nature).

Go careful OP...

edited: and how is 'only 2 pints' ok when driving?! Big fat no just with that alone!

Imdunfer · 02/12/2025 12:33

BIG

RED

FLAG

fatphalange · 02/12/2025 12:45

There are so many threads about men being embarrassing pigs when meeting with friends and it is ALWAYS related to sex/wanting to talk about sex/shoehorning in a sex comment into an irrelevant conversation/being otherwise inappropriate.
Its like they get all excited and revved up when around women and start wanting to give a sexual context so that the women will see them in asexual manner 🤢

fishfingerbutty · 02/12/2025 12:53

A creep and he drinks and drives too.
Horrible man.

Rightsraptor · 02/12/2025 12:55

I don't buy this 'behaving badly due to being nervous' line that so many grown-assed men claim, according to MN anyway. It's ridiculous. And untrue.

God knows why he said such a thing (I'd guess he was testing your friend in some way, she if she'd be receptive to his 'charms')
But I wouldn't give him a second chance.

Beeloux · 02/12/2025 12:57

Disgusting. Imagine if you randomly blurted out to his friends that you used to give your ex a blowjob on Christmas.

I honestly don’t know what goes on in some of these men’s heads. One ex (who I dumped straight after) felt it was necessary to start bringing up his ex’s gaping arsehole shortly after having sex in bed and how she loved anal.

I wouldn’t want to spend my future and certainly not reproduce with a man with such low emotional intelligence.

TwistedWonder · 02/12/2025 12:58

fatphalange · 02/12/2025 12:45

There are so many threads about men being embarrassing pigs when meeting with friends and it is ALWAYS related to sex/wanting to talk about sex/shoehorning in a sex comment into an irrelevant conversation/being otherwise inappropriate.
Its like they get all excited and revved up when around women and start wanting to give a sexual context so that the women will see them in asexual manner 🤢

Edited

Yep and it’s always anal/threesomes like they’re trying to show how cool and non vanilla they are.

Doesn’t matter how old they are, they seem to revert to thinking they’re teenage fuckboys trying to impress the laydeez (and failing miserably)

outerspacepotato · 02/12/2025 13:01

Rightsraptor · 02/12/2025 12:55

I don't buy this 'behaving badly due to being nervous' line that so many grown-assed men claim, according to MN anyway. It's ridiculous. And untrue.

God knows why he said such a thing (I'd guess he was testing your friend in some way, she if she'd be receptive to his 'charms')
But I wouldn't give him a second chance.

I think the he was nervous excuse is bullshit too.

I know people with anxiety. They don't come out with gross sexual comments when meeting someone. I don't know anyone who does that.

All I can think of is it's some weird testing behaviour and I wouldn't have it. That would be it.

TwistedWonder · 02/12/2025 13:03

Beeloux · 02/12/2025 12:57

Disgusting. Imagine if you randomly blurted out to his friends that you used to give your ex a blowjob on Christmas.

I honestly don’t know what goes on in some of these men’s heads. One ex (who I dumped straight after) felt it was necessary to start bringing up his ex’s gaping arsehole shortly after having sex in bed and how she loved anal.

I wouldn’t want to spend my future and certainly not reproduce with a man with such low emotional intelligence.

Can you imagine women acting like this? On the first time meeting their partners friends they treat them to ‘yeah the only time I despite was Christmas Day coz dads was too fat and bloated after dinner for a shag’ or sitting down to dinner with the in-laws and telling them about the time they had a bondage session with the ex while the kids were in bed?

Honestly it’s beyond cringe that grown men think this is ok and that other people need to hear it

CheeseIsMyIdol · 02/12/2025 13:06

B1anche · 02/12/2025 12:01

Wow...be careful you don't trip over that low bar of yours.

It's not about being "po-faced", it's about having dignity and self-respect.

Nerves and foot-in-mouth? He was talking to people he had only just met about sex with his reluctant ex-girlfriend. Do you always make excuses for men's bad behaviour? No wonder so many think they can get away with it.

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No matter how lowdown a man is, there is always some woman out there who will service them, make excuses for them and allow herself to get pregnant by him. Then we end up with kids being reared in shitty dysfunctional circumstances and by abysmally poor role models. It’s truly baffling.

There’s a whole wide world out there and you get one life, women. Don’t waste it on some nasty little oaf.

CheeseIsMyIdol · 02/12/2025 13:06

TwistedWonder · 02/12/2025 13:03

Can you imagine women acting like this? On the first time meeting their partners friends they treat them to ‘yeah the only time I despite was Christmas Day coz dads was too fat and bloated after dinner for a shag’ or sitting down to dinner with the in-laws and telling them about the time they had a bondage session with the ex while the kids were in bed?

Honestly it’s beyond cringe that grown men think this is ok and that other people need to hear it

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One wonders how they were raised, to think this is even remotely ok.

TwistedWonder · 02/12/2025 13:09

CheeseIsMyIdol · 02/12/2025 13:06

No matter how lowdown a man is, there is always some woman out there who will service them, make excuses for them and allow herself to get pregnant by him. Then we end up with kids being reared in shitty dysfunctional circumstances and by abysmally poor role models. It’s truly baffling.

There’s a whole wide world out there and you get one life, women. Don’t waste it on some nasty little oaf.

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And then we get threads in a few years about how fucking useless they are as fathers, don’t pay their fair share and don’t know one end of a hoover to the other

Ignore early red flags at your peril ladies

Gfdeh · 02/12/2025 13:11

CheeseIsMyIdol · 02/12/2025 13:06

No matter how lowdown a man is, there is always some woman out there who will service them, make excuses for them and allow herself to get pregnant by him. Then we end up with kids being reared in shitty dysfunctional circumstances and by abysmally poor role models. It’s truly baffling.

There’s a whole wide world out there and you get one life, women. Don’t waste it on some nasty little oaf.

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Completely agree.
Then they are surprised to be opening threads about just how nasty and abusive they are, 3 children in🙄.

Beeloux · 02/12/2025 13:11

TwistedWonder · 02/12/2025 13:03

Can you imagine women acting like this? On the first time meeting their partners friends they treat them to ‘yeah the only time I despite was Christmas Day coz dads was too fat and bloated after dinner for a shag’ or sitting down to dinner with the in-laws and telling them about the time they had a bondage session with the ex while the kids were in bed?

Honestly it’s beyond cringe that grown men think this is ok and that other people need to hear it

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I don’t understand what the hell they’re thinking. This one was a bloody doctor. Intelligent but no emotional intelligence.

I’m starting to think they say it for a reaction or to attempt to make us jealous. 😫