DH kicking off as I want to uninvite DMIL/DSIL from Christmas Day

[Christmasdayissue]

NC’d for this. Please can people let me know if they think IABU.

Background - DH and I recently moved into our own home after renting for years and having limited space.

Yesterday we hosted DMIL and DSIL for a roast. Both have stomach problems - fine. However, they spent the hour following the roast sat in our living room openly breaking wind and making no attempt to hide this fact. In front of our two young DC (both found it hilarious). No apology from either of them, the only acknowledgment being ‘well you know we have stomach issues and eating that makes it flare up’.

DH didn’t say anything to them. When I told him after they left that I found it disgusting, he said I was prudish and that they can’t help it. I asked why they couldn’t leave the room. He said it’s good they feel at home and he grew up with them being like that so doesn’t see the issue.

I’ve told him today I don’t want them to come on Christmas Day as planned if that’s how they will behave, and set such an awful example to our DC. He said how dare I threaten that and if I ever thought that was appropriate then he’d simply go out for lunch with them to a pub instead.

As quite a windy person myself I can understand them not wanting to hold it in. It causes real pain if you hold it in. However, if they know it upsets you then they should be polite enough to leave the room. I wouldn't stop them coming at Christmas but make it very clear you'll not accept public farting in the living area & ask them to leave the room & not make a big thing about it in front of the kids.

My mum has a serious bowel condition, and I’m sorry but I couldn’t care less if she broke wind after her dinner, she’s my mum and she’s got an illness.

Id let your husband go to theirs and let you have a miserable day by yourself.

It literally says in the first post that they have stomach problems. Plus they have proved it with the farting! i really disagree that that’s normal response, if you get super windy after specific foods it means you have food intolerances.

It's rude, disrespectful and gross but I still wouldn't ban them from Christmas. I would ask dp to tell them that you'd like them to say excuse me after each one to set the correct example for the children.
Or you could serve dinner at the very end of the evening so that they can do their farting once they've gone home.

It's a bit like swearing in front of kids if there's no 'excuse me' after.

Say what? Bugger all has changed in that respect for me, so I’d challenge this claim.

Did she do so for an hour, while laughing and doing nothing to be discreet, or sit and relish in it while children find it hilarious?

🤣🤣

Same here.

I’m 62 and SO tired of people using “peri” and “meno” to avoid responsibility.

I think the children would find it even funnier if they kept going outside the room and letting out real rip snorters before coming back in again and sitting down demurely as if nothing had happened 🤣🤣

I certainly would! And how do you get far enough in time?

Both of these are reasonable suggestions.

So what if he laughs off your suggestion that he should do more of the domestic work.
Just stop doing it, if he doesn't pick up the slack make sure he's the one that suffers.

How much does she even know about their self-declared intolerances though, since this seems to be the first time in the relationship with OH that she has eaten a meal at home with them; not only her own place but in theirs too?
When has she had occasion to absorb this info?

I must say I’m astonished by the generous reactions in this thread, since to me the husband’s family sound like a herd of trogs I’d go a long way to evade, starting with him.
I don’t think digestive issues, real or mere conveneince, are the real issue st all.

Send them over a pack of these:

https://www.independence.ltd.uk/incontinence/sundries/flatulence-pad.htm#

Absolutely.
If he wants the farters to come to dinner, he can provide it.

Google "the Vanvera."

Yes, there is. No humour on MN at all, sadly. OP's IL's seem impervious to shame. She could squirt freshener at them. They might go home.

Not using the menopause as an excuse, but as you get older flatulence becomes more difficult to control in all situations e.g. if moving, dancing etc. Explanation, not excuse.

That’s revolting 🤢 They KNEW it would happen yet still went ahead.. YADNBU just foul I’d have asked them to leave or left myself with the DC.

Just go to the loo surely?

Surely if you can avoid shitting yourself, you can avoid blatant farting

Don't be so personal. Perhaps she can't.

Some people are very ableist when it comes to farting.

I’m pretty sure they’re not 6 month old babies and don’t need to be ‘fed’ ffs! They’re grown adults. They knew what their triggers are and still ate it IN SOMEONE ELSE’S HOME!

Wow, nice bit of fat shaming there OP 🤨 I was on your side but that’s a disgusting comment, nothing ‘respectful’ about it! You should be ashamed of yourself