Page 10 | Unhinged text from school mum, wwyd?

Alwaysalert · 01/12/2025 17:24

letmeeatcrisps · 01/12/2025 11:45

Saturday lunchtime I received this text from a mum of a girl in my kids class. We are friendly enough but would not really communicate outside school. I was pretty shocked - asked her if she’s ok, is she on her own with the kids, and I messaged another local mum who knows her to ask “is she ok, do you know if she has mental health problems”. Other mum responded with “I’m not getting involved”. Ok. No problem! Enjoy your weekend.
i showed my mum the texts, she was shocked, but said .. there’s nothing you can do except go to the police. It’s not the school’s problem. Ok, i get that, but this woman has admitted she has told her child to avoid mine - which is going to happen in school.
so I spoke to the school this morning, and mentioned that she told me she hopes I fall down the stairs (she was texting me abuse for a solid hour).

Schoool kind of shrugged and said well there was a case of nits in class, but they would never name names and it’s not really a big deal if kids do get them.
i said, exactly, i would just treat it, inform others and move on - I don’t think it warrants abuse!!

My daughter doesn’t have nits - actually never has - so I’m beyond confused as to what this woman is thinking

i have been ostracised a little bit by her group of friends - ie we used to go as a group to go to the park after school. My kids are suspected neurodivergent and it always resulted in a meltdown so I have since stopped going to the park with them. I explained this. But it’s like this has suddenly made me public enemy number one. My main concern is that, with parents like this - that my children may end up ostracised and bullied.

i spoke to my family court solicitor briefly (we fled dv 3 years ago but dad wants 50/50 so we are now at a section 7 cafcass report). She advised not reporting it to the school/police as it would come up with cafcass.

so, everyone I have spoken to about this in my life, has told me “let it go”. AIBU to be shocked that .. we just let this sort of thing slide nowadays???

YABU - she was clearly having a rough day but nothing can really be done
YANBU - it’s understandable that you feel you can’t just ignore it

any advice? Do I look for a new school??

Sorry you are going through this. Does she have your phone number with your knowledge or has it been passed to her? Sorry to press with this but unless you gave her this or everyone in the little group you went to the Park with has it as you all exchanged numbers, then I suggest changing the number and ignoring this group totally as there are some of her supporters I would imagine, who also have it so would do her bidding (e.g.lend their phones to her) if you were just to block her. Some strange people about.

FableLies · 01/12/2025 17:25

Crazy text aside - did the school tell this woman it was your child who had nits?

Climbingrosexx · 01/12/2025 17:30

She clearly isnt aware of the malicious communications act 1988.
I would make her aware of this if this nonsense continues. I know a lot of people are saying just ignore it but she is committing a criminal offence and you are within your rights to report this. I would definitely hang on to anything she sends to you

Firsttimeeverrrrrrrrr · 01/12/2025 17:31

FableLies · 01/12/2025 17:25

Crazy text aside - did the school tell this woman it was your child who had nits?

I very much doubt it. The girls probably sit next to each other.

I've never said it outloud to anyone, but internally I've 100% blamed the girl my dd sits next to whenever my dd has caught nits 😅

StartingFreshFor2026 · 01/12/2025 17:32

Swiftie1878 · 01/12/2025 17:20

I would definitely refer to the school because:

she says the school told her your child spread the nits, and;
if she is having a breakdown, there’s a potential safeguarding issue for her children.

Let the Head know, then avoid her like the plague!

She's not having a breakdown, she's just an arsehole!

It's a really horrible message but I can't believe people are seriously suggesting psychosis, mania, mental breakdown or the need to get the police involved.

LBFseBrom · 01/12/2025 17:33

User564523412 · 01/12/2025 11:49

She sounds like she's having some sort of psychotic breakdown or manic episode. Just make an effort to avoid her and her kids in future. I would let it slide as it seems like an incoherent rant rather than a genuine threat to you. There's nothing to suggest she's actively planning anything dangerous, but it really sounds like someone with severe MH issues.

Edited

I agree.

However keep the text.

FoxLoxInSox · 01/12/2025 17:38

I’m so saddened and disappointed by the number of well-meaning people who confuse poor behaviour / rudeness / aggression / poor social skills / trigger tempers / bolshy brattiness / swearing / vile personalities with “mental illness”.

Please. Everyone. Stop. Calling. Poor. Behaviour. ‘Mental illness’. 😢 🙏🏻 😢

I’m kind, polite, well-mannered, well-socialised, educated, professional woman who ALSO has a very severe mental illness (one of the ones listed above) and which periodically DESTROYS my life. However, I’ve never been vile, abusive, hostile, rude to other mums etc.

This lazy assumption that everyone who acts appallingly ‘must be mentally unwell’ not only tarnishes those of us with disabilities, it also absolves the aggressor / perpetrator of personal responsibility for their own lack of integrity / manners / appropriateness.

Wintersgirl · 01/12/2025 17:39

Dollymylove · 01/12/2025 12:03

Why is this sort of behaviour excused by "mental health"?
Can't anyone just be and out and out tw*t anymore?
I would be having words with her in the playground 😉

I know, every bit of human behaviour has to have a label nowadays, what happened to someone just being a dick? It's exasperating...

Tadpolesinponds · 01/12/2025 17:40

@FoxLoxInSox I also think that telling other mums that she must be mentally ill is a form of revenge - doing everything possible to ruin her reputation. It doesn't reflect well on the OP.

FoxLoxInSox · 01/12/2025 17:40

Wintersgirl · 01/12/2025 17:39

I know, every bit of human behaviour has to have a label nowadays, what happened to someone just being a dick? It's exasperating...

Show quote history

Agree. And as well as it being exasperating, it’s also unbelievably ableist and offensive towards those of us who battle life living with severe mental health disabilities.

😔 💔

TheRealGoose · 01/12/2025 17:44

I think she’s just furious about the repeated nits, having gone through it myself I can relate, although I never ever discussed it or accused anyone.

im really surprised if nits is repeatedly going round the class if your kid has never had them. Im guessing you check and know for sure. But once in a class most kids succumb, its an utter ballache.

ManchesterGirl2 · 01/12/2025 18:11

You've already mentioned it to the school, I think that's all you can do from a reporting point of view. As far as I can see it's not really a police matter. I'd probably just block her and avoid her in future.

JustSawJohnny · 01/12/2025 18:11

NormasArse · 01/12/2025 15:45

The OP could get into trouble for sharing the language.

Show quote history

From who? The whatsapp Police?

Plus she wasn't the one who wrote the language.

Bullies need outing.

Every. Single. Time.

twinmum2007 · 01/12/2025 18:12

letmeeatcrisps · 01/12/2025 11:45

Saturday lunchtime I received this text from a mum of a girl in my kids class. We are friendly enough but would not really communicate outside school. I was pretty shocked - asked her if she’s ok, is she on her own with the kids, and I messaged another local mum who knows her to ask “is she ok, do you know if she has mental health problems”. Other mum responded with “I’m not getting involved”. Ok. No problem! Enjoy your weekend.
i showed my mum the texts, she was shocked, but said .. there’s nothing you can do except go to the police. It’s not the school’s problem. Ok, i get that, but this woman has admitted she has told her child to avoid mine - which is going to happen in school.
so I spoke to the school this morning, and mentioned that she told me she hopes I fall down the stairs (she was texting me abuse for a solid hour).

Schoool kind of shrugged and said well there was a case of nits in class, but they would never name names and it’s not really a big deal if kids do get them.
i said, exactly, i would just treat it, inform others and move on - I don’t think it warrants abuse!!

My daughter doesn’t have nits - actually never has - so I’m beyond confused as to what this woman is thinking

i have been ostracised a little bit by her group of friends - ie we used to go as a group to go to the park after school. My kids are suspected neurodivergent and it always resulted in a meltdown so I have since stopped going to the park with them. I explained this. But it’s like this has suddenly made me public enemy number one. My main concern is that, with parents like this - that my children may end up ostracised and bullied.

i spoke to my family court solicitor briefly (we fled dv 3 years ago but dad wants 50/50 so we are now at a section 7 cafcass report). She advised not reporting it to the school/police as it would come up with cafcass.

so, everyone I have spoken to about this in my life, has told me “let it go”. AIBU to be shocked that .. we just let this sort of thing slide nowadays???

YABU - she was clearly having a rough day but nothing can really be done
YANBU - it’s understandable that you feel you can’t just ignore it

any advice? Do I look for a new school??

You OK hun?
New phone, who dis?
Fuck off
Yeah, whatever
Back off. Don't you dare criticise my parenting
Ignore.
Archive the chat for a while - there will be other ways of getting the info.

Any of these any use?

Firefumes · 01/12/2025 18:19

I’m totally responding with the benefit of hindsight here but if I were you, I’d have leaned into it and shared her outrage of the nits blah blah. And then just ended it with it’s not your kids with nits so can she tell you who at the school has said that so you can all get to the bottom of this and put in a complaint. As in, butter her up to get her to give you the info.

Anyway, it’s done now. I think given all the other things your family is dealing with I’d put this exchange to rest. If your kids are being bullied then I’d say move schools as you evidently aren’t going to get much support from anyone.

Oftenaddled · 01/12/2025 18:26

I'd steer clear of anyone who shared this sort of thing on the class WhatsApp - what's the point in inflicting this sort of drama and nonsense on another 30 odd people? OP has told the school, has her mum (and this forum!) to chat to, and doesn't need to take any particular action. But if she did feel the need to do something, I'd certainly resent her turning a class WhatsApp group (since they can have their uses) into a mechanism to recruit people to her side and shame someone else.

The other mother is obviously, deeply, in the wrong. No need to seek validation and stoke the flames by showing her up.

Agrumpyknitter · 01/12/2025 18:32

Good lord what a horrible text. If any of the children in our primary class were discovered to have nits then their mothers would post on the class WhatsApp, to warn everyone else to check their children. No one was dirty or unkempt it was just unfortunate. My daughter almost escaped getting it (had it the once which was enough).

Bikergran · 01/12/2025 18:35

I woukd have replied politely.
"I think you have sent this to the wrong person. My child does not have, and has never had, nits. Have a nice day."

Meerkatmanor4 · 01/12/2025 18:35

Does she have a job? I would send this text to her employer!

Is she solely reliant on benefits? If yes there are no repercussions for her behaviour and conduct! This is why benefits for parents should be linked to some sort of code of conduct! Stuff like this should get you an automatic sanction!

Would you say you live in a really rough area or is the school in a really rough area?

24kPalamino · 01/12/2025 18:42

What are ‘Dusty Nits’

The Dusty Nit - This is a particularly unkempt nit that doesn’t bother with daily grooming. It is likely to be unclean, not seeing showering as a priority. The dusty nit may be classed as being lower in attractiveness than the standard nit, and may also display a ‘sketchy’ personality, not to be trusted and often engaged with fraudulent or even criminal activity.

One can surmise that having dusty nits is significantly worse than having other sub-species of nit.

Fiftyandme · 01/12/2025 18:46

I wouldn’t be putting up with this shit. Report to police and report to social services - might fill in a few puzzle pieces. If she’s behaving like this to acquaintances, how is she behaving behind closed doors??

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 01/12/2025 18:49

She’s not in a good place mentally, OP. Horrible and upsetting as that is, you can’t take it to heart because this is not really anything you did. Hope you’re okay.

sunshinestar1986 · 01/12/2025 18:50

letmeeatcrisps · 01/12/2025 11:45

Saturday lunchtime I received this text from a mum of a girl in my kids class. We are friendly enough but would not really communicate outside school. I was pretty shocked - asked her if she’s ok, is she on her own with the kids, and I messaged another local mum who knows her to ask “is she ok, do you know if she has mental health problems”. Other mum responded with “I’m not getting involved”. Ok. No problem! Enjoy your weekend.
i showed my mum the texts, she was shocked, but said .. there’s nothing you can do except go to the police. It’s not the school’s problem. Ok, i get that, but this woman has admitted she has told her child to avoid mine - which is going to happen in school.
so I spoke to the school this morning, and mentioned that she told me she hopes I fall down the stairs (she was texting me abuse for a solid hour).

Schoool kind of shrugged and said well there was a case of nits in class, but they would never name names and it’s not really a big deal if kids do get them.
i said, exactly, i would just treat it, inform others and move on - I don’t think it warrants abuse!!

My daughter doesn’t have nits - actually never has - so I’m beyond confused as to what this woman is thinking

i have been ostracised a little bit by her group of friends - ie we used to go as a group to go to the park after school. My kids are suspected neurodivergent and it always resulted in a meltdown so I have since stopped going to the park with them. I explained this. But it’s like this has suddenly made me public enemy number one. My main concern is that, with parents like this - that my children may end up ostracised and bullied.

i spoke to my family court solicitor briefly (we fled dv 3 years ago but dad wants 50/50 so we are now at a section 7 cafcass report). She advised not reporting it to the school/police as it would come up with cafcass.

so, everyone I have spoken to about this in my life, has told me “let it go”. AIBU to be shocked that .. we just let this sort of thing slide nowadays???

YABU - she was clearly having a rough day but nothing can really be done
YANBU - it’s understandable that you feel you can’t just ignore it

any advice? Do I look for a new school??

Definitely put on class WhatsApp

Alpacajigsaw · 01/12/2025 18:55

I’d put it on the class what’s app group if you have one, before replying telling her to fuck off and get a grip. Honestly the worst thing about primary school is dealing with arsehole parents. She’s fucking deranged

CautiousLurker2 · 01/12/2025 19:07

Alpacajigsaw · 01/12/2025 18:55

I’d put it on the class what’s app group if you have one, before replying telling her to fuck off and get a grip. Honestly the worst thing about primary school is dealing with arsehole parents. She’s fucking deranged

I’m definitely for sharing on the class whatsapp, but do NOT tell her to fuck off first as that will get shared in the same place and OP loses the high ground. Keep it clean and be disingenuous -“ Not sure what I personally have done to warrant the attached, especially given my DC have mercifully escaped the dreaded nits so far, but hoping everyone is checking their kid’s hair as often as I do…+ image.”