Which one of these parents would you judge more

[Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout]

Or think of as a crappier parent?

Child A-6-Always dressed immaculately in new clothes, new toys, hair beautifully done, wears make up a fair amount and mum & grandma spray perfume on her, has a mobile phone-‘Just’ with games on and adult Youtube. Child swears, calls people fat or ugly and laughs,

Or

Child B-6-Scruffy, often without shoes, clothes with paint or food down them at weekends, unbrushed hair, mainly at weekends, baths once per week

The more the OP comments the more it feels like her and the parents of child A are cut from the same cloth. Both want an easy life and don't want to actually raise their kid to be able to look after themselves as an adult, and both are super judgy of other people.

You've set up a very false narrative there, clearly you own child b.

Child A sounds like she is being parented, not greatly, but the parents are parenting.
Child B seems to be ruling the roost and the parent allowing it for an easy life.
Neither sound great to be fair but they seems to be opposite ends of the spectrum

A lot of dermatologists recommend 1 - 2 baths/week for 6 year olds.

I would feel very sorry for A. I'm always so sad for children with phones and make up.

I would either feel pleased for B, if it's a happy relaxed home, or sorry for B if it's a neglectful home. Hard to tell from your initial post.

This is also true, didn't think of that. Another reason child A's parents are crappier.

Why would someone not brush their kids hair? Never understood that at all. Takes two minutes and makes you wonder if the parent bothers to brush their teeth too.

Happy, relaxed home

Why is child a in your home @Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout if you disapprove so much?

It doesn’t take two minutes, curly and thick, I do it very gently but she still hates it, for this i’m happy to put in a bun at weekends as we face the struggle every day Mon-Fri

If you're happy with your parenting then have the confidence in it to not need validation from strangers while trampling on someone else. Be the reflection of who you want others to be. Ok. They've criticised you in private. If they've hit a nerve make some changes. If not then forget it. This 'comparison' is disingenuous and does you no favours.

Both seem to be poorly parented in different ways.

Do you think you're the better parent? Doesn't sound like either of you are better than the other.

Okay, I suppose i’m feeling sensitive about it and in all honesty don’t like the way things are for this child at all

You don't bother to wash your kid or comb her hair, or wash her clothes, but you reckon that's OK because you are not Katie Price? You know that being better than Katie Price is not a flex, right?

Do better.

Is child A your sisters child?

Neither parent is doing a great job, tbh.

There's no reason for a 6 yo to have food or paint down their front or to go around with disheveled hair or poorly shod. Ditto for the makeup and the phone and the lack of kindness. Perfume is fine.

If you're either one of these parents, do better.

NEVER brush curly hair dry!!!!

Curly hair, comb through when wet to de-tangle. When little, it's easier to keep it in plaits to stop it matting.

All the more reason to keep on top of it - once a week will make it a big job on curly hair and a massive source of stress.

Maybe come up with hairstyles that will help make it easier during the week, but doing her hair 2x week would be reasonable. My mother used to get really frustrated with my hair and pull so had brushes and combs would break, it would have been sorted a lot easier if she had learned to care for it properly.

Look just because the parent that openly judges you has some pretty shitty standards doesn’t mean you’re parent of the year. Whilst she may be worse, you’re not great. Maybe rather than justify your poor parenting by comparing to someone worse, you up your game.

But that would mean the OP would have to care for and wash her child. Can't possibly do that 🙄

A quick shower only takes 5 minutes. Hair doesn't have to be washed everyday but why would you only give your child a bath once a week (unless there were extenuating circumstances)

Well if you’re making is judge I’d choose to judge both.

Why is child B only bathing once a week?? Surely if they are running around the garden barefoot there should be getting a wash. Otherwise those smelly dirty feet will end up in their beds, the sofa, literally everywhere.

Notice you didn’t do a character assassination of child B, only child A got the personality put downs. I would judge you most of all for judging yourself entirely better than the parents of child A. Surely we are all doing our best.

Based on the additional information you gave I’d judge both for being judgey idiots.

OP has said hair wash once a week. That's all a 6yo needs (unless actually dirty hair). Bath once a week is fine too. Much better for children's skin to have a weekly bath than a daily bath.