Which one of these parents would you judge more

[Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout]

Or think of as a crappier parent?

Child A-6-Always dressed immaculately in new clothes, new toys, hair beautifully done, wears make up a fair amount and mum & grandma spray perfume on her, has a mobile phone-‘Just’ with games on and adult Youtube. Child swears, calls people fat or ugly and laughs,

Or

Child B-6-Scruffy, often without shoes, clothes with paint or food down them at weekends, unbrushed hair, mainly at weekends, baths once per week

Being messy is not neglect and a well presented child does not mean the child is being properly taken care of. When I look back at photos of us from childhood we would fit the into child b category, we were playing outside all day and my mum was definitely not prepared to wash a clean set of clothes each time we spilled food.on ourselves.

There has also been many, many times I've picked my own child up from nursery and she has resembled a Victorian street urchin. I couldn't do the once a week bath to be fair.

But considering the amount of research and warnings about screen time and devices for young kids, it's shocking that parents still give them to their children. And even more that they allow their kids to use them hours a day and let them keep them in their room.

I’m 24 so young enough to have had a family laptop with YouTube we watched unrestricted so I completely agree with you, my oldest is 8 and doesn’t have a tablet I see loads of other kids do even toddlers I think the older parents just don’t realise because they didn’t grow up with it.
But I still think b is worse bath once a week means the kids must stink which isn’t just bad for them it could also mean being ostracised by the other kids being bullied etc.

This is a weird post . Child A sounds a tad extreme so comparing both kids isn’t really possible . Do you want permission to allow your child to be unkempt and scruffy ?

This

Neither as not a judgey parent

OP my kids don't wear shoes in the house, they can go outside in their bare feet if they want, I do in the summer sometimes around my own house and garden (as long as it's not wet or very cold - I don't like cold feet)
My kids also get a shower on a Sunday evening, the older primary kids might get another shower during the week if they are getting stinky or if they have somewhere to go e.g. school play etc.
My curly girls hairs would be quite dry so I don't like to wash it too often.
We absolutely do still wear clothes around the house that have paint or Bolognese that hasn't been able to wash out fully (it's mostly the 4yo who wipes her face now her sleeve/shoulder/ whatever she can find 🙄) if I threw away everything with a slight stain they would be naked.

My almost 8yo girl HATES skirts and dresses and getting her hair done, yuck to any makeup, 4yo would walk around in a princess dress with a tiara and "make-up" (looking more like a clown) all day if she could, they are all different.

YouTube both adult and kids blocked on all devices in this house and we are absolutely NOT allowed to call people names or comment about peoples bodies.

I think there’s a bit of stealth class boasting going on with this post.

I think OP possibly wanted people to celebrate her “free range” parenting style and subtly put down the parents of Child A for being very obsessed with image.

FWIW I think Child A’s parents are far worse: raising children to be very obsessed with looks is a recipe for poor self image, its shallow and it makes them vulnerable to abuse.

I think bathing weekly for a child of this age isn’t a disaster: its less than I would do and I don’t think it instils great habits but it isn’t neglect.

But there’s something about the way you have positioned this which makes me think you want people to praise you for being better than Child A’s parents.

Both sound pretty awful.

A sounds like a case of "adultification". Too much time being preened and pampered, but home life is actually pretty scrappy, and the one who shouts the loudest is the one who gets heard. The type of kid who has to shout for the attention she actually wants.

B sounds neglected. I'm all for kids being kids, and getting dirty, but in this day and age, there's honestly no excuse for kids looking obviously scruffy and unkempt. I'd be concerned about what other basic needs aren't being adequately met.

Yeah OP is never coming back as she wanted a pile on parents A and instead got told off for being a skanky neglectful Mum. 😆