Which one of these parents would you judge more

[Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesout]

Or think of as a crappier parent?

Child A-6-Always dressed immaculately in new clothes, new toys, hair beautifully done, wears make up a fair amount and mum & grandma spray perfume on her, has a mobile phone-‘Just’ with games on and adult Youtube. Child swears, calls people fat or ugly and laughs,

Or

Child B-6-Scruffy, often without shoes, clothes with paint or food down them at weekends, unbrushed hair, mainly at weekends, baths once per week

Both children are being neglected.

I think both parenting styles are dreadful in different ways, but I have to say that I find the idea of a six year old wearing makeup and perfume a bit obscene.

I was brought up in the 1950s and bathed every day. All my kids (born 1974,76 and 90) the same. The only people I met who bathed once a week were in unmodernised houses with no bathroom, who still used a tin bath in front of the fire!

Both parents pretty bad imo. You’re setting your kid up to be bullied at school.

Well, judge and be judged. Have a nice life

I would think that the parents of child A shouldn’t allow her to swear or insult people

I would be concerned child B is being neglected and would speak to school. (Or social services if I saw evidence of neglect. )

Child A seems well cared for, but obviously some issues - make up (??) and too much screen time/ inappropriate content.

Child B sounds neglected.

@Cantbearsedtosortthoseelvesoutwhy do you spend time with another parent and child who you clearly don’t like and admit that you judge?

It’s not a nice way to behave and isn’t great role modelling for your child because kids pick up on parents’ attitudes even when unspoken

Neither are good parents. Both are opting out of huge parts of the responsibility

If she’s doing crafts and grubbing about in the garden and woods, she should be showering or bathing more often than once a week. Fact.

Both are crap, child B's parents more.

Even if they are running around barefoot everywhere including outside in the woods? Surely they need a quick feet wash at least.

Child B sounds a lot like me as a child. I’m now nearly 50 and bath night and hair wash was Sunday (before the muppets) and we had a shower after swimming. In between was strip wash. It is only very recently that daily showers/baths have become a thing. It isn’t good for kids skin.

Hated my hair being brushed, still do, and it makes me sneeze.

I would wear shoes as little as possible, so no shoes in house or garden or when going to play at a friends. My mum would always try to get me to wear shoes, but as soon as I was out of sight off they came and I would carry them.

Now a fully functioning adult!

Let kids be kids, they have quirks. So long as she knows that she has to wear shoes at school/ shops/ out and about going shoe free at home / garden is fine. She doesn’t need to have her hair done at the weekend. So long as the comfy clothes are clean, don’t have holes or badly stained then roll with it.

I judge parent of child B. Becuase parent of child B wants to be told they are the better parent.

th point of this thread is for ParentB to feel superior to the parent of Child a.

parent B is not a good person so yes I judge:

Child B needs an intervention by social services, they are being abused.

Child A is displaying bearish behaviour and needs correcting.

Neither parenting is of a good enough standard but I wouldn't look at parents, I look at the child and determine if their needs are being met.

Judging people is a horrible behaviour BTW.

Of course their feet are dirty! I never wear shoes at home and my feet get dirty! Bath once a week is pretty revolting. Body parts get hot and sticky no matter what the weather, especially if child is spilling food down themselves.

Parent 1 is awful letting the child swear but parent 2 can’t even be bothered to teach their child basic hygiene. My niece hated her hair being brushed and used make a right fuss, she isn’t nurodiverse, my kids hated brushing their teeth and at 6 they DID need help, they weren’t nurofiverse, my mum showers twice a week on set days, she isn’t nurodiverse. Stop making excuses for your own laziness as teach your child how to look after themselves.

I do agree with the OP about shoes. I never wore shoes in the house or garden as a child, and at 67 I still usually don’t whatever the weather. I do most of the gardening barefoot, take out the bins barefoot, and wash my car barefoot. I would only wear shoes for safety if I’m using the strimmer. I’ve never worn slippers indoors either.

I was a child in the 1960s and Sunday night was bath and washing hair night. We never had baths any other day of the week, and most of my friends were the same. Things are very different now and my daughter always had a daily bath or shower as a child, but I’m sure a thorough wash woukd have been sufficient much of the time.

Sorry- i assume your child is B. You are actively neglectful and quite frankly dirty, food stained clothes and a bath once a week is disgusting.

We have severely disabled autistic children, one of whom hated bath (and all hygiene stuff). We worked with an OT to get him in the bath and found fixes for the other stuff.

I do think once a week isn't enough and just because that's what you got in the 90s doesn't mean it's OK.

Also I really bloody hope you’re checking your child’s hair for nits, as if it’s not being brushed regularly it can be really difficult to spot. From a relative working in schools it is quite often the “crunchy” mums who have to be informed that their child is absolutely crawling with the buggers because they haven’t been near their “free spirit” kids’ hair for weeks…

And if you think she’s neurodivergent then are you getting her assessed? Again nothing worse than a kid playing up and then being told “oh we think they are autistic/ ADHD” but that the parents are doing absolutely sod all about it.

Neither.

Child b
neglect right there

as for child a sometimes you do your best to raise them and they still turn out as little shits

If you think your child might be ND then it’s far easier to set up daily hygiene habits as part of their routine now rather than waiting until they hit puberty.

As for the swearing all it takes is your child to over hear a swear word at the park from an older kid next thing you know they won’t stop saying it yeah you can tell them not to but you don’t know they aren’t saying at school

Your DC sounds like me as a child. I only ever wore shoes & socks to school, or when “out”. (Other than in cold & wet weather outdoors, then it was wellies) First thing I did coming home was remove them. Bath 2 x week. Ran about outside in old hand downs from brother, camps in the wood etc.
I was always with my brothers, I have no recollection of brushing my hair but Mother cut it short anyway.
I loathed dresses.
IMO, other child will create problems, & already is if her language is bad at that age