Would I be unreasonable to track someone down through their workplace?

[OneShyBear]

I’m a foster carer to 2 children. I met another foster carer by chance on Friday in a Costa when I was doing a care planning meeting on a zoom on my laptop. She overheard the whole meeting and then told me after that she was also a foster carer too and then we both chatted for over another 2 hours. At the end she wrote her phone number down on a piece of paper and told me to text her and keep in touch. We had worked out that we both had similar issues (with social services and in terms of support needed for our foster children) and similar experiences as foster carers and had worked out that we could both support each other and stay in touch as friends. I’ve lost the piece of paper that she wrote her number down on and I only have her first name and not her surname. During the conversation she did tell me that as well as being a foster carer she also works part time and she told me her workplace/the company (it’s a large/national company/organisation) that she works for too, would I be unreasonable to contact the company/organisation and give them my number and her first name (and the other information that she gave me during the conversation that could help her company identify the right person) and ask if they can track her down internally by any chance and pass on my number to her? Obviously I understand that they wouldn’t be able to give me her details or her number due to data protection but I could ask them to pass my number on to her if they could manage to track her down internally? Would I be unreasonable to do this? I’m happy to do it and I want to do it but my DH doesn’t think I should as he thinks that going through her workplace is “weird”. We both really got along well and genuinely intended to keep in touch (before I lost her number) as friends and we both had very similar experiences as foster carers too.

The number of people on this thread who have no concept of data privacy, employer responsibility, employee confidentiality and safeguarding is astounding.

The OP cannot be for real, there is no way anyone can be this dense.

^ This

OP still doesn't seem to understand that her saying she made a mistake and it won't happen again is just not good enough and is still pursuing a relationship with another gobby, alleged FC who she seems to want to swap stories and winges with.

Yet lots of posts trying to emphasise that point have now been deleted by MNHQ.

There really is no point in trying to explain the many problems surrounding child protection and safeguarding presented by the OP.

I genuinely hope, for the sake of the vulnerable children in her care, that she is much more level-headed and appropriate in real life than we have seen here.

Good grief, let it go!!!!

Firstly, genuinely well done & admiration for being a Foster Carer.

But, sorry, I don't doubt that your intentions may be good, but this whole thing sounds inappropriate to me - sharing info about a foster child with a stranger?? Why was she listening, and why were you discussing such personal info in a public place? Costa?? Public WiFi?
Is there no private place that you can take part in any meetings?? At home / in a library etc?
I admit that i have no experience of this.

My only suggestion is to speak to the organization who are 'in charge' of any fostering agreements with you. There are Fostering Support groups - I believe you really need to ask for professional advice, even anonymously, and no, please don't try to trace a random person who listened to your conversation (even if one sided) & may, or may not, be totally innocent.

Sadly these days you need to be so careful, as you are a person with such responsibility for vulnerable children, I can understand that you would like to have contact with another in the same situation - maybe write this one off, and rethink - however, my main point is that you say that you say you were in a 'rush', but then spent 2 hours speaking with a total stranger?? (She isn't a friend - yet - your DH is right in this case),

Good luck anyway, but those children that you foster must need to be protected. Random stranger may be lovely & caring - but may not be.

Annoying as it is - it IS weird, and you have to evaluate how important making contact is - i.e. if it was that important, would you have lost the number? You ought to have enough information from the 2 hours to stalk trace her, but I wouldn't do it through her work.

The normal protocol for passing numbers is to dictate your number to the other person, who then phones you, and you both save each other's numbers.

I did manage to track her down through her workplace in the end and we are now in contact! Her workplace agreed to pass my number on.

Girl. This is not going to go down well. Even of she pretends to be happy, she,will run a mile. I hope you dont bring your foster children to meet her .

i would still
have you fired

The fact that the 'similar threads' at the bottom of this page is predominantly about stalkers has not escaped me.

We’ve spoken since her workplace passed my number on to her and she was ok with it. I’ve managed to verify her as another foster carer too.

We’ve spoken since her workplace passed my number on to her and she was ok with it. I’ve managed to verify her as another foster carer too.

We’ve spoken since her workplace passed my number on to her and she was ok with it. I’ve managed to verify her as another foster carer too.

We’ve spoke since her workplace passed my number on to her and she was on with

Sorry I didn’t mean to post that multiple times! The post button wasn’t working properly!

It was a “one off”…? It was one too many and if you think this is appropriate you need to re-think your position in caring for the most vulnerable members of society.

What is the point of this update, OP? Just to upset the people who are genuinely concerned about your suitability as a foster carer further?

You still have not addressed the potential safety / privacy concerns around all this that so many of us raised.

I did earlier in the thread. But that’s also not what this thread was about.

If all this thread was about and all you wanted to know was if it would be unreasonable to try to track a casual acquaintance through their employer why did you add all the other background and expose yourself as a potentially inadequate Foster carer ?

I find it mind blowing that such personal information involving others can be discussed in public in a manner that it can be overheard. Huge data breach.

wtf

have you not read any of the replies and taken in what you did was soooooo unprofessional

The op claims to have addressed this up thread but in my opinion she has not taken the concerns raised seriously at all. At my workplace we have yearly training on all sorts from bribery, bullying, to working in public spaces (the latter of which can be done with caution). I think both of these ladies need a refresher on their data responsibilities, since neither checked that the other was actually a foster carer before sharing all sorts of private information about vulnerable children.
And then we have the large company who tracked down a woman from just their first name....
It's like gdpr never happened.

Holy flipping crap, didn't you absorb the consensus of your thread at all, at all?

I don’t think foster caring is for you, when you have such a blatant disregard for their privacy/safety.
I work with vulnerable young people and would never have meetings about their welfare in such a public place!