Relative asking for money

[novemberdaze]

A relative of mine asked me to borrow money. Bear in mind, I've met her twice - the last time being 12 days ago and before that - about 10 years ago when she was a child! (She lives abroad).

She said she would pay it back in a few months and that it was 'urgent' - to the point where she was texting multiple times in a row. What annoyed me is that rather than asking me for a certain amount of money - she asked me 'how much I'd be willing to give her' and kept hinting that the amount of money is 'a lot'. (Which I guess is all relative).

I told my parents (who are old/retired - and have met her multiple times). They are also baffled by her asking 'how much would I be willing to give her'. But they said they don't want it to be a cycle of repeated asks - so it's best not to start 'giving'.

Bear in mind, we all just came back from a trip less than two weeks ago - and everything seemed fine...? We also gave them cash then at the time.

Also, I never gave her my phone number - so she must have asked around for it...!

To make matters worse, her brother (who I've also only met twice) is now texting me too - but pointless crap like those 'good morning' memes and texts saying: 'Hi sisterrrrrr!' (We are not siblings - it's more a term of endearment).

AIBU to say 'no' outright - despite them knowing we obviously have some money to travel (having just seen them all)...?

Block them. Job done.

"Hi Jane, I don't have any money to send you. Please stop asking, it's very embarrassing for me to discuss money when I'm so skint."

And hope they fuck off. I bet they've fleeced every single person around them and you're just the next victim.

Block them. Sounds like a scam!

Just say no, and stick to it. Block and ignore.

I don’t know if I would lend money to someone I barely know. Not relevant if you have any or not. But I think we should only lend money if we are comfortable with the idea of never getting it back

Agreed. It's not that I'm even contemplating that - it's more that it all feels so bizarre and icky.

I genuinely have never heard of a situation where someone has asked: 'Well, how much are you willing to give me first - before I tell you how much I need?'

Crazy!

You'll never get it back will you.
I second the block and delete response.

Why did you give them money before?

Of course you should not lend or give them money. You hardly know them.

You won't get it back. Reply no can do. Then block

You won't get it back. Reply no can do. Then block

I didn't give them money before. My parents did. It's more that it is 'custom' to give cash. They live in a rural area abroad. (They own land/farms) so cash is appreciated more than anything else.

Block that grifter.
or say “ funny I was about to ask you the same thing- if you manage to get anything , maybe we could share it? “
Or just laughing emojis.

Do not give this person money! Simply say ‘no’ and then if necessary block and delete their numbers.

I’m guessing that they think you have lots of money as you can travel and come from a “richer” country?

They are being very cheeky - I would respond sorry I’m broke not sure how I’ll make it to payday myself

This sounds like a scam to me. I would block the texts immediately and report them to your network as spam.

Are you absolutely sure this is in fact your relative? I have had scammers purporting to be my colleagues (whose details were easily available online) asking me to transfer money in the past. I would just block.

I’ve travelled widely.

Let me guess: Northern Thailand? 🙄

Yes sadly! Lol. I know what you mean though - and how anyone can pretend to be anyone via the phone - but no; it is indeed them.

I don't think it's anything as deep as a 'someone pretending to be something else/elaborate thing' - more just that they know we are from London - and they want/need money.

A simple ‘no’ should be enough here.

This is a scam.

Block them and let a mutual relative know about it.

Fuck m off in your life.

You don't need this shit.

Just say...

"Hi X,
It was lovely to see you during our visit. Unfortunately I do not have any cash to loan as all the holiday money I had saved is now gone. I'm back to having to budget to pay my own bills.

Hope you can get sorted out yourself, but please let's not sour our relationship with any further talk of money when I have none to give.
Take care X".

Could they be an addict? I know someone in active addiction who has absolutely zero shame asking anyone he can to ‘borrow’ money over and over again.

I highly suspect this is a scam. New tech makes it's very easy to seem like the genuine person & they spoof numbers as well. They'll even deep fake video calls.

Either way, just say no, sorry, I don't have spare money. Don't explain about your expenses or budget. That just gives people an 'in' to discuss how much you can afford or scammers more info on your personal circumstances.