Have I ruined the last “magic” xmas

[Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread]

For the first time I’m massively financially struggling this year. I’m worrying week to week about putting food on the table. This is a real first for me and it has been a very sudden and drastic change after losing my business suddenly in the summer (whole other story).

my eldest is 6. I’m worried this may be the last Xmas of them believing (according to a quick google search average is 7). This Xmas is going to be very different to what they’re used to. I’ve got nothing booked, usually we’d do light displays, theatre, Xmas days out and attractions etc. I feel sick with guilt and worry. Next year I’m planning on bouncing back and I’m already trying to plan for next Xmas, thinking Lapland to bring back magic. My worry is, is this the last Xmas of them truly believing? What age did your dc stop believing?

thanks for getting this far

DS9 is still going strong, and can't wait to see Santa tomorrow!

there are so many lovely free/cheap things to do around Christmas it doesn't need to be all paid days out. Go for a walk to look at all the lights. Pack a hot chocolate and go for a walk somewhere beautiful.

There is plenty you can do together at low cost
Visit garden centre
See light up hoouses locally
Bake xmas cookies
Go to a childrens service in a church
Visit a xmas market with max £5 to spend challenge
Local amateur panto
Kids wil enjoy rituals at any age.
Growing out of belief in santa does not mean you cannot retain xmas magic and family traditions.

DC1 was 5. DC2 is 7 and still going. There's no age you can guarantee.

But there's also far too much emphasis on this magic business. I'd never heard anyone describe Christmas as magic or feeling they needed to do specific things to create this "magic" before I was on MN.

Your child will have a perfectly nice Christmas with you and enjoying games and time off and everything else you have to offer. Belief or not in a strange man coming down the chimney is irrelevant.

none of my DC stopped believing a that age. More like 9/10

All the things you usually do, none of them is ‘magic’. You’ve been conned. You certainly don’t need Lapland FFS.

Things that are magical… going out and watching the ‘sleigh’ (ISS) passing over on Christmas Eve. Getting some lichen from the woods and teaching DC what reindeers actually eat (hint, not carrots). Leaving it out for Rudolf. Reading ‘Twas the night before Christmas with the voices. Watching Christmas films bundled up on the sofa with a later bedtime.

It’s so hard to be scraping by. It’s miserable and depressing and stressful. But money doesn’t make magic. It really doesn’t. The competitive ‘magic’ for SM isn’t for children. It’s for their parents.

Sorry things are so tough, but they don’t need lots of money spent to have a magical Christmas at that age.

There are so many free and cheap things to do. If you post where you are (roughly) I’m sure there are loads of suggestions…

making Xmas cookies or cards
paperchains
putting up decorations with Xmas music and a little treat nibble and hot chocolate
lights being switched on
advent candle lighting and singing carols
board games with a tiny prize wrapped in Christmas paper
visiting local streets that have good decorations on the houses

I’m sure there’s more

I would also agree that Lapland is really not needed for magic. The magic is time with you.

my eldest is 6. I’m worried this may be the last Xmas of them believing
Believing in what - the magic of consumerism?

I looked into Lapland a while back for my DC. I’m on a decent income but even then I was shocked at the cost. Agree with little things actually making the magic… and mine at the ages of 17 and 15 still get excited about Christmas. So much you can do at your kids age - make your own Xmas cards and decorations, go see some Christmas lights, Xmas movies on tv, local choir carol concert…

OP, did you have a happy childhood? Did you find Christmas exciting? And did you do even half the stuff that you’ve mentioned in your OP?

That Lapland/days out stuff isn’t what makes Christmas magic for kids! It’s just late stage capitalism!

Honestly, kids don’t want to be bustled from photo op to photo op - the idea of Christmas is exciting enough for them.

Having a wonderful Christmas has absolutely nothing to do with ‘believing’, and it’s both ridiculous and very sad that parents set themselves up for this nonsense.

Christmas is beautiful and fun regardless. My son is 7 and has always been very sceptical of Father Christmas and he still adores Christmas. Me and my sister never really believed in him either and still love it. It’s one of my favourite times of year and I don’t bother with ‘magic’ either. I bother with good times, family and food.

Take the pressure off yourself and embrace Christmas for all that it is, not the big guy in red.

I fear you have drunk the Kool-aid.

Have a nice, low-key, home-based Christmas and don’t worry about Lapland next year (or any other year).

Christmas isn’t all about spending money on attractions etc, it is what you make of it to be magical.

Can you take them to free events? Like local town Christmas lights switch on? Is there a posh shop or garden centre that has Christmas themed departments/lights that you can go and look at?

Could you watch Christmas films/read Christmas books together as you count down to Christmas?

Does their school have a Christmas fete with a Fathet Christmas? That might be a cheaper event to visit?

Could you make Christmas decorations/mince pies/cakes at home with them?

When mine were little we used to walk/drive around local area to look at the lights on people’s houses the night before Christmas, and come home to have hot chocolate with marshmallows. Mine used to love that.

i hope you can find some ways of being creative in making Christmas special.

There are lots of Magical’ low cost and free things you can do. Download the NORAD Santa tracker and watch Santa’s prep and present delivering - we still do this and my eldest is 25!
Make some reindeer food (oats and glitter) and sprinkle outside. Walks / car trips to local light displays. Christmas films and favourite snacks under a duvet. Above all be kind to yourself , your DC will remember your love and presence above all xx

I grew up completely skint and Christmas was still magical! You don't have to spend a fortune to have a good time. We used to go for walks to look at everyone's Christmas lights and give them all a score, go to the church carol concert and church feast evenings (they did a few over Christmas, never occured to me as a kid that it was because we were poor, I just enjoyed the nice stew and music!), the garden centre Santa's grotto (I'm pretty sure it was £1 a child to see Santa though I've no idea if anywhere is that cheap these days - the pub near me is doing breakfast with Santa for £12 a kid though which I think is quite good value!), my mam was a pro at making Christmas quizzes, Christmas scavenger hunts and Christmas treasure hunts (great way to drag one present out into an hour long adventure round the house to find it! She also did ones in the run up where the "prize" was some chocolate sprouts or something, which was the most exciting thing ever as a kid but probably cost 50p at the corner shop).

The most important thing is that you're together. I know, trite as fuck, but it's true.

Honestly what do you remember from when you were 6 ?
I remember family Christmases with grandparents and cousins. Don’t remember if I went to see Santa or not.

This is a brilliant post 😊

I can't remember believing, I had just turned 5 (autumn birthday). Christmas was still magical!

You are definitely going to give your DC a magical Christmas with all the suggestions made here by PP. You can't buy a magical Christmas and it's definitely not to be found in Lapland (I have been it was lovely, but it wasn't as special as our Christmas traditions).

Go to the library and get The Grinch out to read with DC. Remember that Christmas can't be bought in a store, Christmas is actually something much more.

Wait for a cold, crisp day and go foraging in the woods for stuff to make a wreath. Special prize if the kids find Holly with berries on.

Loads of fun stuff you can do for less. Hot choc (with squirty cream and sprinkles if funds allow) and a film on TV. Board games with snacks (Christmas themed ones). Crafts to make (paper chains and Christmas music. Christmas cooking, dressing up etc. Take silly pics on your phone.

Lots of the fun Christmas things you mentioned up thread are mostly fun for the adults. I mean they are fun for the kids too. But kids love other things, smaller things as well.

I'm with everyone else. I remember Christmas being completely magical as a kid, and things like light trails, specific Christmas days out etc didn't really exist. We used to love going and seeing the high street lights in the local town, garden centres etc. I do remember one amazing Christmas going up to London one evening, but if we did 'spend money ' that's not what has stuck. Looking at the lights and the shop windows is what has stuck. None of that cost anything. You can still have a magical Christmas spending very little. I'm sorry you're struggling right now, but please don't give into some guilt induced spiral about a magical Christmas that involves spending lots of money.

I was older than that when I stopped believing in Santa - but I still go through the motions and only put presents under the tree last thing christmas eve ! The magic stays with you.

Instead of light displays you can go and look at the lights on houses near you - there's always at least one Christmas House where they go nuts! And go to carols or christingle at your local church, you don't have to be churchgoers.

People don't go carolling anymore - why not organise a carolling night with school friends and parents and knock on doors singing for your figgy puddings?

The old ways don't need lots of money. Make Christmas pudding (don't forget to make a wish and add a piece of silver), make paper chains, Christmas cards and other decorations. Gingerbread men and Christmas movies. Walks to collect greenery for a wreath. And check out the ticket prices for your local panto.

She’s 9 and still believes as do her friends

Breathe @Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread

We have two teenagers now 17, 15, and what they love about Christmas was not the paid for expensive presents or outings.

First of all there are many Christmas lights you can see for free, shopping centres, local houses that really go to town.

What our two still insist upon......
It's the stuff you do at home

Muppets Christmas Carol, last film Christmas Eve, a must.

Making home made sausage rolls on Christmas Eve evening (sausage meat and bought puff pastry)
They like a complicated gingerbread house construction - none of those easy sets for us we get the graph paper out!

Christmas "magic' isn't bought it's created with love.

As a disclaimer, our two never really believed in Santa, we never did Elf on a Shelf, taking them to see "Santa" was an utter disaster and a low point of most young Christmases

They just wanted our undistracted time, a new game to play, crackers at the table and no one saying no to chocolate. Honestly the cost of the presents, trips out, forced magic, they hated.