Have I ruined the last “magic” xmas

[Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread]

For the first time I’m massively financially struggling this year. I’m worrying week to week about putting food on the table. This is a real first for me and it has been a very sudden and drastic change after losing my business suddenly in the summer (whole other story).

my eldest is 6. I’m worried this may be the last Xmas of them believing (according to a quick google search average is 7). This Xmas is going to be very different to what they’re used to. I’ve got nothing booked, usually we’d do light displays, theatre, Xmas days out and attractions etc. I feel sick with guilt and worry. Next year I’m planning on bouncing back and I’m already trying to plan for next Xmas, thinking Lapland to bring back magic. My worry is, is this the last Xmas of them truly believing? What age did your dc stop believing?

thanks for getting this far

Many moons ago my now adult DD decided to write to Father Christmas. This is what she wrote:
"Dear Santa, Please could you bring me a brown felt tip pen."
Santa duly obliged and she was thrilled.....

Blimey op my children are 7yrs and 10yrs and both still believe (the 10 year old may be the last as she's very suspicious now 😆).

But honestly Op don't worry about the expensive things, my children have never done anything like that and love Christmas! They love all the traditions, Christmas decorations, baking cookies, watching films etc. We often drive round the local area to look at Christmas lights, and a couple of times we've been to little theatres in smaller towns where they do much cheaper pantomimes which are only £15 a ticket. (We wouldn't be able to afford the main theatre in the city).

Very unreasonable to equate the magic of Christmas with spending loads of cash and saying you will bounce back next year with Lapland. Your eldest is still very young. Unless you teach them to want expensive experiences young children are most happy with simple activities that prioritise connecting with others (parents, relatives etc) and giving them time and attention.
My eldest is 12 and believes, without ever bringing her to Lapland!!. (And i haven't particularly encouraged her being so innocent). My children's favourite December activity is baking a Yule log with me. We drive around and look at lights. Our city council does a cheap light display we have been to a few times. We visit the crib, take part in a musical event to raise money for a food drive, watch Christmas movies, cut paper into snowflakes. All free.
Please dont raise your children to consider spending money a measure of fun and magic.

My DD was 8, but the boys were much older. They'll love making reindeer food, you can make cookies with a window (a fox's glcaier mint) and gingerbread house) or just go to a farm park nearby,
No need to spend too much cash

Goodness my eleven year is a very firm believer still. I was surprised when he announced that he knows he is real and listed all the reasons why. I feel happy and guilty at the same time. He is a bright, logical, top of the class kid so I will hang on to this one last Christmas of Santa…..

All adults in our household and we have a magical Christmas.

My DS is 8 and still believes, my DD was 10 when she stopped. Our favourite cheap magic maker is to empty a tin of prunes on our patio on xmas eve, the reindeer pooed in our garden 🙈🙈

You have until high school. Even if they hear rumours before then they’ll convince themselves he’s real in their heart of hearts. Have the most amazing time in Lapland!

Try listening to White Wine in the Sun by Tim Minchin .... he has something to say about the real meaning of Christmas.

I imagine you already have plenty of Christmas decorations from previous years since money has only recently been an issue for you so decorating the house won’t be a problem.
A visit to Santa can be free or you’ll certainly be able to find somewhere for under £10. I’m taking my son to a Xmas party at soft play and that includes a visit with Santa for £10.
Gift wise with your son only being 6 he should still be in the toy stage rather than expensive electronics hopefully.
Somewhere like b&m have loads of toys on 2 for £20 and there in lovely big boxes so they will fill under the tree up lovely and you won’t need to spend much.
Baking is pretty cheap, you can make cards for grandparents, Xmas films with hot chocolate or some Xmas sweets is another cheap activity.
Honestly most 6 year olds are happy with the simple stuff.
If you need cheap presents for family I’d suggest buying cheap photo frames and putting in a picture of your son (new school photo) and a box of biscuits. You can also buy plain white tea towels and get your son to decorate them with non washable felt tips if you need a cheap grandparent gift.

I work with ks2 kids I’d say a handful have stopped believing by y4, the majority by y5 and only a very few naive ones in y6 - although there’s a few more who play along because they really want to believe.

Money spent on Christmas is not what makes it magic. The magic of Christmas for kids is the sheer amount of time and effort parents (usually mams) spend making it nice for them. There’s already been loads of good suggestions on this thread, my kids loved one year sitting with loads of photos from past Christmases and making a scrap book. I’ve also seen one parent on here who lets their kids have a sleepover in the living room once the tree is up.

Christmas is arguably the time of year when you need paid attractions and special days out the least, for young children to all feel the atmosphere and excitement. Nearly everything around us is made Christmassy for us, for free! School, high streets, shops, TV, food... - and like everyone had said there are loads of free/cheap activities you can do too. If anything I'd say it's when they're older and a bit more jaded, and past the "can't sleep on Christmas eve" stage, that kids might benefit the most from special events. So I really wouldn't worry.

mine were all 10-11. Had to tell one before secondary.

Kindly meant, but Lapland is expensive if you are struggling this year and looks like you are trying to 'buy in' magic for next year. It doesn't have to be everything or nothing. If you run your own business and there is always a risk of it collapsing, it is worth abandoning Lapland and saving that money so if a similar difficult situation arises, you know you can dip into that pot.

Goodness, you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself My 7 & 9 yo DSs are both still going strong, and my 9yo is the most logical kid I know! There are so many ways you can keep the magic going without spending a heap, like hot cocoas at home/making Christmas cards/decorating the tree together/cutting out paper snowflakes/making paper chains/baking and decorating cookies/driving around (if you have a car) to see everyone’s lights/family Christmas movie nights/reading stories by the fire. Honestly it’s time with you that makes it magic, not all the material things. I’m really sorry things are so hard right now. Hope things start to get easier really soon ♥️

No offence but if youre struggling with putting food on the table after a few months of not working- when you do bounce back, id put money into savings, not blow it on a trip to lapland.

There is so much more to Christmas than stuff you buy and events or entertainment you go to.

Find special things gs to do with your children. Making Christmas decorations together one afternoon would be nice - look up what supplies you could buy for crafts in your local pound shop. Hot chocolate with marshmallows, watching a Christmas movie in pajamas after a long hot bath with bath bombs, cuddled up together on the couch, baking together - all of these family activities would be fun and maybe even memorable.

Don't feel bad about losing your business.

Don't fall into the trap of believing that children need money spent on them or that expensive = special.

Children love you and they love it when you spend time with them and give them your full attention

X post with @falalalalaaaaaaaa

We had 4 kids and there were definitely years where we didn’t have a lot of spare cash so we would do a lot of cheap and/or free things. Plenty of local garden centres will have Christmas lights and decor, you don’t have to go see Santa just look at the lights and Christmas decor. Our local small garden centre we sometimes did a Santa thing there where u had breakfast with Santa for not too much, think this year it’s £9 for adults and £10 for kids u all get a cooked breakfast and the kids see Santa.

We also would go for a walk or drive to look at people’s Christmas lights. Often in you look in local press or ask around there will be a local street or house that go for it big style find them and go see that.

We woukd definitely do evenings in pjs and duvets/blankets with hot chocolates with marshmallows and squirty cream and popcorn with a Christmas movie. Even now I still buy cheap bags of unpopped corn and pop it in a pan myself very cheap. But even those bags of microwave popcorn are usually cheap ish in Aldi/Lidl or one of the discount stores.

Baking was always something the kids loved and we would often bake cakes and biscuits for Christmas. I have quite a few cutters in different shapes bought from cheap shops or cheap online. Think I got the Christmas set in plastic from poundstrechers.

My grown up kids say they don’t remember most of the gifts but they do remember going out together to look at lights, and evenings watching movies.

My 18 and 16 yr olds still insisted on putting up the tree on Saturday with Christmas music and hot chocolates afterwards.

BTW there are plenty of good Facebook groups regarding Lapland trips, you don’t kneed to book a really expensive package from a company. You can fly with a cheap carrier like EasyJet. Santas village is a short taxi ride from Rovenemi airport. You can book accommodation yourself. Plus you can pick to do or not do the various activities and book yourself.

I explained to my grandsons (7 and 3) how quantum mechanics allows Santa to (probably) be in very many places all at once. They both still believe 😊

It really isn’t worth splashing out on things like Lapland which rarely live up to the hype and are so expensive, especially if you really need the money for other things. I remember as a child being so thrilled to see the big Christmas lights in London and there are so many light trails now all over the country, many are free or not too expensive as a treat. Christmas markets are lovely too. Steam trains put on special events too if you are near any. Google events in your area and nearby.

Before I used MN I had no idea people took Santa and children ‘believing’ so seriously. Christmas is magical but it’s not because of visiting Lapland or spending loads on presents. Just spend what you can afford OP and do some fun free things! Try to put on a happy front for the children and all will be fine.

I think the smartest kids cotton on that not everything about Santa is literally true very early, but that it’s true in other ways, and hold onto the magic a bit longer. I’m pretty sure my eldest could have logically worked it out at 3 when he started asking questions, but I just kept my answers soft rather than giving him something to push against, and he knows it’s something he wants to believe in.

I had big age gaps between my children. Oldest was at secondary school. Her teacher was talking about legends, traditions etc and asked who believed in Father Christmas? My dd went to put her hand up then realised she was the only one. At this age she did know about Father Christmas but for her two younger siblings she kept the belief going. She was devastated that she was the only one in her class to be keeping the magic. The teacher then went on about the Tooth Fairy which was another magical myth crushed by the teacher.
Just because you can't take your family to the expensive light shows doesn't stop you walking around after dark to see the lights on people's houses. Father Christmas has a bungalow in our village which is decorated every December with lights and displays. Can you find one near you?
You don't need to go to Lapland to have a very expensive trip to see Santa, he will be found at local Christmas events.

You make your own magic, it doesn't have to be expensive trips and presents. Charity shops have lots of things for presents.
One year, after divorce, I hadn't got two pennies to rub together. I bought youngest a board game in a very tatty box from a charity shop as her one and only present. She loved it and played with any of her friends who visited as well as me again and again and again. Best £1 I have ever spent.
She still tells everyone how Father Christmas gave her a second hand game and would they like a game.

I hope people have reassured you OP, I've skimmed through and we pretty much all have the same opinion. I'm old now, but one memory that stands out for me from when I was small is being taken to see a Christmas tree lights going on (can't remember where) and people standing around it singing hymns - didn't cost a penny, but it was magical. Best event last year was a Christmas tree display in a church, free to get in, collecting boxes if you wanted to contribute - the beauty of the trees and lights, and the recorded choir playing, it was almost overwhelmingly beautiful ❤️. I hope you and your DD have a wonderful, if frugal, Christmas 🎄