Have I ruined the last “magic” xmas

[Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread]

For the first time I’m massively financially struggling this year. I’m worrying week to week about putting food on the table. This is a real first for me and it has been a very sudden and drastic change after losing my business suddenly in the summer (whole other story).

my eldest is 6. I’m worried this may be the last Xmas of them believing (according to a quick google search average is 7). This Xmas is going to be very different to what they’re used to. I’ve got nothing booked, usually we’d do light displays, theatre, Xmas days out and attractions etc. I feel sick with guilt and worry. Next year I’m planning on bouncing back and I’m already trying to plan for next Xmas, thinking Lapland to bring back magic. My worry is, is this the last Xmas of them truly believing? What age did your dc stop believing?

thanks for getting this far

He's real in our imaginations ......
That's the line to go for.

I had to tell my ds before he started secondary, so he was 11.
We never booked expensive things, just local craft fairs and carol concerts. Between that, advent calendars, the tree, school, shopping etc etc, the build up is magic enough. Then you have the big day, and then visiting extended family... it goes on and on and is a bit much really.
You'll be fine.

I would agree with others when they say that there is no particular age in which your child may stop believing in the magic of Christmas, but I still did when 9 years old...
And also there are many things, many activities, many crafts, many places to visit locally, that can all be done on a shoestring budget.
I don't know what you normally would do for Christmas or how big you normally would go, but why not bring back some of the traditions of Christmas past?

Like, having a big long string and stringing a popcorn garland. Personally, I find it to be a frustrating craft because of how often the popcorn would break, but it's extremely cheap, takes time, maybe if you had some hot chocolate and Christmas music going in the background, and at the end, you could hang the string of popcorn outside for the birds...

Or make colored paper chains, you don't even have to go out and buy books of red and green construction paper, just look for stuff you can use around the house, cut it into strips, use a piece of tape or a stapler and make loops one into the next into the next and make a chain of papers that you can hang up. Very inexpensive, and it's fun to decorate this way, and it can be part of the magic of Christmas which is to decorate your home.. to celebrate, to be joyful, to add a little extra color and sparkle into an otherwise dismal part of the year.

To me, crafts that you make yourself and experiences that you do with a loved one or a family are way more important than any experience or item that you can buy. Try researching wartime Christmas traditions. Not a lot of people had a lot of extra money or extra rations or extra materials that were even available in the stores as so much was diverted to the war effort, and yet those families still managed to have a Merry Christmas even under constant mortal threat.

I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your job, really really sorry to hear that. And that you're struggling financially and of course you're going to feel it at Christmas, but this is a great opportunity to show your child without having to explain everything about the grown up world and economics, that Christmas is more than what you can buy in a store.
Hope this helps

As far as my mum's concerned I still believe aged forty-something. For that matter, for all I know she still believes too aged seventy-ish!

The ideal situation to my mind is to move from truly believing to playing along with a lovely story and family tradition without any upsetting scenes in between. To this end, with our own children we don't try too hard to fake evidence for the actual existence of the big man, and any direct "is Santa real?" questions are guided along the lines of "What do you think?", "Why do you think people would make up stories like that?" and "Would you like him to be real for our family this year/next year/in general?" rather than being answered directly. It works for us, anyway.

My kids are now 24 and 23. When they talk about childhood memories of Christmas it’s about being allowed to stay up late, watching a Christmas movie. Coming down on Christmas morning and seeing Santa's footprints in the snow. Staying up late to watch for Santa going to children in other countries (the ISS). Driving around the local area in their PJs and coats to see the lights on other houses. Getting chocolate for breakfast on Christmas Day. Baking the Christmas cake. Waiting on the home made advent calendar (tat I had collected over time) and in all that, no mention of the £££s I spent over the years on pressies. They want time with you. They want to play with you. That’s the one thing I’ve learned and I wish I had realised much sooner.

Honestly I don’t think kids mind what you do as long as there are lights and a Christmas tree. Mine are teens and still the highlight is a a Xmas stocking. Nobody ever said they didn’t believe because I have a twisted sense of humour and said “ zip it shh don’t say it out loud otherwise the stocking won’t arrive” this is even after chocolate reindeer were spotted in the cupboard and I said I was helping out. You don’t need to splash the cash to have a lovely Xmas.

Ps you will probably have the nicest time not going from one expensive activity to another it will be such a relief! Watch Xmas movies make Xmas cards and gingerbread men oh and collect holly and fir and make wreaths that’s free and easy. I booked tickets to the Xmas carol at the old vic and regretting it now!

My kids were both about 10 years old so you still have plenty of time OP don't worry!

I agree with what everyone else has said! But when you are talking about Lapland, do you mean the real Lapland or Lapland UK?