DD and Friend hurt me yet I’m in the wrong?

[FoxPj]

DD had a friend over for a sleepover last night, they are 12. During the course of the night one or both of them wrote a “horror” message on the bathroom mirror which was a shock when I went in and saw it. I went in to speak to them both and DD screamed that I was embarrassing for crying. The friend looked shocked like she’d never seen an adult show emotion before and said they had done it to her mum too who had found it funny. She did apologise but added “it’s only lipstick, it wipes off easy”. DD then stormed out and told DH that I was embarrassing her and DH has taken their side saying it was a harmless prank and I need to lighten up.
Feeling so upset today. I thought DH would at least back me up.

It's only the one friend that stayed over?

If your DD gets laughed at at school she'll know for sure who told people and that this "friend" isn't the kind you can trust so can write her off.

After I watched Hereditary with my DS he hid outside my bathroom and did the 'clonk' noise then jumped out at me so a message on the mirror is getting off lightly to me! I think they were looking for something funny and light-hearted to do and you have over reacted, in their own way they were including you and you've thrown it back at them.

I would be annoyed if it was my lipstick that had been used mind as some are quite expensive!

She was pulling a silly prank and I think your reaction must have been disproportionate if you cried. You could have had a chat the next day but "hurt" seems a bit extreme. You just need to pull yourself together.

If someone had broken into your house to do you harm, it’s unlikely they are going to bother writing on the mirror in lipstick to warn you beforehand!

That's true the reaction was over the top, but bitching the OP isn't good either.

She cried because someone wrote murder or redrum on a mirror. Her reaction was ridiculous.

“Terror” ffs 🤣🤣🤣. A kids writing IN LIPSTICK on a mirror. Better watch out op, the nightmare before Christmas and all sorts of goulish terrorising movies will be on air soon. Take cover.

That is very embarrassing for your dd. Her friend won't want to come over any time soon nor will anyone else. Your husband is right not to back you up. This is a 'you' issue and not something to put on others.

I agree. I can't imagine anyone but Jack Nicholson doing this role.

Although Homer Simpson did a fairly good rendition! 😆

For context, if the OP had come back from holiday where you KNOW the house has been empty and locked up and finds writing on the bathroom mirror when she gets home, then of course it would be worrying, but not when you're home with two 12 year old giggling girls on a sleepover...

Oh, You're reaction was seriously OTT.

Terror?

Get a grip, honestly.

I don't like horror either but if I saw this on my mirror and had kids in the house I would assume they had done it not that Jack Nicholson was about to chase me with a machete.

I think you need therapy if you react like this to things.

Imagine how the friend must have felt having an adult displaying that kind of emotion.
She probably felt mortified by the reaction to what she thought was a harmless prank.

So just say you really did think there was an intruder in the house, your first reaction is to go into the children’s room and cry? That’s not very adult is it? What were they going to do about it? Did you have a few drinks? Did you watch something spooky recently that made you jumpy? Do you get out much?

I’m sorry you were frightened. But why would you think there was a stranger in the house instead of assuming it was the child who lives there?

I know you are very much considering your feelings in this situation but have you paused to recognise the feelings of others involved? They clearly didn't realise you'd react the way you did but you're an adult so you did know how your reaction would be received. You need to be the adult, Op.

I would have thought of a prank as a way to get them back!

I know this is always trotted out on MN, but OP your reaction is so far from normal, I think you need to seek some help.

You owe your daughter a massive apology.

You say you immediately knew it was not real ...so why did you feel the need to cry in front of your daughter and her friend?

So just say you really did think there was an intruder in the house, your first reaction is to go into the children’s room and cry?

Quite. Why would you do that?

Was it an expensive mirror ?
Did it come off ?
What made you cry ?

My mum was nicknamed misery by me and my brother when I was a teenager lol

If it was from the Shining then it was REDRUM backwards. If you didn’t know it was from a horror film then why was your immediate response one of “terror”. Surely you’d think, there are two 12 year olds in the house who are messing about. This cannot be real.

Honestly @FoxPj , I don't know why you had such an extreme reaction, but part of parenting is learning to gather yourself sometimes before launching at the children.
This is really quite embarrassing for you and your daughter.