DD and Friend hurt me yet I’m in the wrong?

[FoxPj]

DD had a friend over for a sleepover last night, they are 12. During the course of the night one or both of them wrote a “horror” message on the bathroom mirror which was a shock when I went in and saw it. I went in to speak to them both and DD screamed that I was embarrassing for crying. The friend looked shocked like she’d never seen an adult show emotion before and said they had done it to her mum too who had found it funny. She did apologise but added “it’s only lipstick, it wipes off easy”. DD then stormed out and told DH that I was embarrassing her and DH has taken their side saying it was a harmless prank and I need to lighten up.
Feeling so upset today. I thought DH would at least back me up.

I'm assuming either you have bad anxiety, are being threatened by someone or know someone who was murdered horribly. If not then this was a big overreaction. I think it would've been fine to cry if they had done something truly terrible (faked an accident, being dead etc.) but for a small prank I don't think crying is reasonable

If there were two of them and both little girls, they could have done something much worse inspired by The Shining.

It was a stupid prank but they're children. Let them know you don't appreciate it (pranks are shit) but you have to let it go.

When we had mice and dh was working away my then 12 year old put a plastic rat in my bed.
Made me jump as I hate rats and mice but I saw the funny side after the initial shock.

I honestly forget people like this exist until I come to MN. It's mind boggling. The absolute inability to navigate perfectly normal scenarios without having a nervous breakdown baffles me; I often wonder how they'd manage if something bad actually happened to them.

Makes for a good laugh though. It's just unfortunate that in this case, it'll be at OP's daughter's expense. That's a story everyone in her year will spread like wildfire, by the end of term it'll have evolved to 4 police cars turning up and OP running down the street in terror.

Her daughter will remember it for a very long time. Nice one, OP.

They’re a similar price.

Gosh I really thought this was going to be something else altogether - like you were actually hurt in a prank or something. What a lot of nothing. I have a 13 year old and I can’t imagine a scenario where I’d show up in her room crying - much less if she had a friend round! Genuinely can’t picture it. Even if I was scared / annoyed / had tragic news / something else I can’t think of - no excuse to follow her to cry at her.

I am worried for you if this reaction is in any way typical for you. Are you okay? Is there something else going on?

Yeah, no instinctive she-warrior reaction to protect the girls at all costs!
Not even leading everyone down into the unlit, never-visited cellar (which, since she’s never watched horror films, she’d not know is a dreadful idea!) 🙀💀🤡

God I just love this forum

That's nothing. I wouldn't worry about that - so she has embarrassing parents? Hardly unusual at that age.

That said, your reaction was OTT - crying?? What use would that have been if a murderer had been in the house? Did you really believe it or is this about control? If I thought someone was in my house I'd get everyone out.

My DS and DH still laugh at me for being afraid during a very rough ferry crossing where a freak wave broke windows and let water in, so that we limped into port about 12 hours late, with no hot food etc. The alarms woke me up, I went out of the cabin to see and was so freaked out by seeing crew members running around with fire extinguishesr (my own personal terror) that I went back to the cabin, woke husband and son and made them get up and come to the muster point with me just in case (the muster alarm hadn't been rung). I didn't waste time crying though.

My point being, my kids all take great pleasure in telling friends what a wuss their mum is. True, they're all older than 12, but so she will she be soon. Mine think it's hilarious, and they don't seem to think it rubs off on them at all - the shame is all mine, LOL

Basically, she'll get over it.

I personally would’ve found it amusing & pretended to be frightened. The only thing that would have made me cry is if they’d written it in my new Chanel lippy!

What did it say? Sounds quite dramatic. Hope all ok now.

I feel you, I get overly anxious sometimes as well so I'm not going to pile in. 💐
I don't understand why your initial reaction was that someone had broken in /in the house that shouldn't be there when you have kids on a sleepover in the house?
I'd be like "ok, why have you been writing on the mirror?!" 🙄😁
I can't stand horror movies or anything remotely scary, so I wouldn't have known it was from the Shining either. I'd have thought it was more likely to be terrified if you did

Oh but dahlink, not equal in value 🤣

I hate horror, I hate pranks and I hate cleaning mirrors so this would absolutely not be the stunt to pull on me, but I just can’t fathom the circumstances that would have me crying in front of teenagers over it. Being annoyed and asking for it to be cleaned off immediately, yes. Crying, no.

No @Sartre , they are not!

Was it Redrum ? (And you read it backwards)
IMO that was quite an over reaction from you. It was just a bit of harmless fun. It probably was the girls that got the biggest fright.

For me calling something a " prank" is an excuse for bad behaviour. It's the equivalent of people calling unacceptable language " banter" .

I remember that thread. Definitely the same kind of thing.

No, it was murder, per OP's post at 13.33 "It wasn’t red rum, it was spelt the other way in awful writing."

Oh well OP.
Just be grateful you haven't got the joys of my oldest child (who is 42 today).

When she was 12, she got a tin of Elnett and sprayed "I HATE MUM" on her bedroom wall.

We had to paint over it because it was impossible to get off.
🤣

It took me ages to realise red rum "spelt the other way" was 'murder'. I was like "rum red? What's so scary about that?" 😅

And I was also thinking about the racehorse.

You do learn something new every day, as someone also said earlier.

Poor kid, you are completely ridiculous and attention-seeking. It's not like they put a fake decapitated head dripping blood in the sink, or woke you up wearing one of these frankly disturbing horror mask.

You made all that drama over a word written in lipstick?

Be careful, because no one will ever take you seriously anymore.
I feel so sorry for your daughter.

I hate horror too.
i don’t understand nor ‘get’ the crying thing. I would have felt embarrassed. Even if it shocked you why go in there? You could have had a conversation with DD later?
It’s all a bit. Odd.

but it's not?

I don't like practical jokes but a prank is just that, a joke. Like them or not, it's not an apology for bad behaviour. It's just a (bad) joke.

Surely you can see the difference between genuine bad behaviour and a joke?

@FoxPj your first reaction was someone was in the house? Have you been through a trauma or something happened to you?