DD and Friend hurt me yet I’m in the wrong?

[FoxPj]

DD had a friend over for a sleepover last night, they are 12. During the course of the night one or both of them wrote a “horror” message on the bathroom mirror which was a shock when I went in and saw it. I went in to speak to them both and DD screamed that I was embarrassing for crying. The friend looked shocked like she’d never seen an adult show emotion before and said they had done it to her mum too who had found it funny. She did apologise but added “it’s only lipstick, it wipes off easy”. DD then stormed out and told DH that I was embarrassing her and DH has taken their side saying it was a harmless prank and I need to lighten up.
Feeling so upset today. I thought DH would at least back me up.

My brother painted across a blank plaster wall late one night after everyone else had gone to bed. We came downstairs the next morning to 'I will kill again' in 6 inch high letters and drops of paint for extra effect.

It is still on the sitting room wall behind the wallpaper to be uncovered whenever anyone redecorates the room.

He was 45 at the time. 🤣

I’m glad the friend apologised but I’m disappointed your daughter didn’t and even more disappointed your husband backed her up. It’s no wonder you have low self confidence or esteem or whatever you want to call it. When you’re not in a good space mentally and emotionally you can be more sensitive to threat. Do they often gang up on you and treat you like your feelings don’t matter?

Oh dear I hope dd’s friend will keep shtum about this at school because your poor dd is going to have serious teasing aimed at her. Honestly, get a grip. I don’t like horror either but my first thought would be the kids mucking about.

In what way did dd hurt you?

Not often I tell people to get a grip but this is definitely a time and place for it. Honestly.

This thread has reminded me to rewatch the Shining - what a film!!

I have a 12 year old DD and I am the 'scary' prankster in our home.

It is pay back for the shit I have to put up with.... I would have laughed hard and planned payback had this happened to me.

Crying OP, I simply cannot understand why.

I don’t like horror films, never liked them, never watched them and don’t want anything to do with them. I’m menopausal and cry easily if I see something about suffering of little children on TV. However even imo you were out of order with your reaction and your attitude. Of course your DD was embarrassed and her friend was surprised. I was hugely surprised just reading your post.
who did you think was in the house? A ghost?

Were you drunk by any chance? It’s the only excuse I would accept.
added: you should have told them to clean the mirror and that’s would be the end.

I think you're getting a rough time here OP. Yes your reaction sound ott, and you could have dealt with it better, but so is their reaction to your reaction (or at least your DH's - kids being embarrassed by their parents is normal!).

They've had a lesson that sometime pranks upset people in ways you may not expect, it's a useful lesson to have . I don't subscribe to the Mumsnet view that emotions should never be shown in front of children. How do the learn any empathy or how not to hurt people's feelings if everyone always hides negative feelings?

Tell her if people in school laugh they will be laughing at you not her, so she should just laugh along about what a nightmare parents are and they'll soon forget about it.

Oh come on. There's a limit on what is reasonable and what is not.

The OP is adult enough to have a child! At some point you need to behave like an adult, and get a grip.

Omg you cried? Really?

Your poor daughter. Hopefully she’ll be able to laugh off the teasing with an eye roll - “I know. My mum's such a drip”.

There's a thread about a MIL in flood of tears about what a 3 year old said.
Yes, emotions are human, but being a drama queen and attention seeker is not an attractive side.

Are you on any medication that could have caused your reaction or have you had some dreadful experience in the past that triggered such a reaction in you?

They're 12 year old children - you should not have reacted the way you did.
It a harmless prank done to get a reaction and for a laugh not to make you cry.
You should not have spoken to either of them while crying.
You did embarrass your daughter and knowing girls, her friend will tell the whole class. Not easy for your daughter - put her first instead of your own feelings.

I think you have every right to be upset.

Tough if it embarasses the pranksters, you reap what you sow...good lesson learned.

Seems a pitiful prank and not remotely funny.

Your feelings are for no one else to police, I love to see spiders in my house, others call friends to come around and tackle...we each have things that bother us...no one has the right to controlling our reaction unless that makes them or us unsafe.
Just say you didn't like it...and discuss no more 🫶☀️

You don’t have children do you @Anyahyacinth

I've heard that murderers that want to murder you tend to first write a banner headline on the bathroom mirror in lipstick before they do the deed.

I hope you've laughed it off with your daughter and aren't punishing her for "HURTING" you with words on a bloody mirror.

Well if her daughter starts getting bullied in school, that would make her unsafe.

All because the OP is a wet lettuce.

telling them off is fair enough, but the theatrics will get her laughed at in school.

A prank, like a lot of jokes, is unpleasant behaviour which relies on upsetting somebody so the " prankster" and their pals can have a laugh at someone else's expense.

There is nothing funny about bad behaviour designed to upset someone else. Calling it a "prank" doesn't make it a acceptable.

OP's DD and her pal set out to deliberately scare and upset OP. Why does calling that a prank make that anything other than downright nasty?

The responsibility for bullying would always remain with the bullies 🤦‍♀️

I do …but imagine if I didn’t or had been bereaved…nice comment 🤢

okay, fair enough you can't be blamed for your original reaction, although most adults would have realised after a second or two that it was clearly a prank.

But everything after that was completely OTT, and no wonder your DD was embarrassed.

Oh calm down

Id be curious what you relationship is like with your children given your stance on this issue

Too late to edit my own post, but for anyone who is a horror fan, they will know that the carpet in the Overlook Hotel is based on Hick's hexagon. Cole and son do a lovely wallpaper version in a different colourway. Yup, that's the wallpaper I used to cover over his artwork. 🤣🤣🤣

Murasaki. wHere does Red Rum come into the equation? Dear old boy is long gone ....

From the film the Shining.