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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel the Disenfranchised have been Scapegoated.

186 replies

Gilead · 26/11/2025 17:28

Just fed up with a society that has become so incredibly selfish. The vilification of disabled people and the drubbing of benefit claimants whilst managing to forget that most of the people on universal credit are working families. Forgetting that most pensioners have worked and saved all their lives, some still paying tax. And let’s not forget those lazy bastards who are putting on an act in order to get a ‘free’ car.
I predicted this was the way we were headed on mumsnet in 2010. Got called all sorts of names, but, at that point in time people were a lot more understanding of the issues encountered by the disenfranchised.
If you want to come on here and tell me you don’t want to pay extra for someone else to have kids you can’t afford, research it first, look at the (myriad) reasons for this, the figures, the number of women who had extra children during the period. Then think how it would be if you suddenly became disabled, or more severely disabled.
Im off with my carer in a bit. In my Citroen C3 that actually cost me a wee bit more because I had to pay for the wheelchair hoist as well as the (approx) 350 quid every four weeks to cover the lease, and the insurance.

OP posts:
notallwhowanderare · 29/11/2025 01:19

Celestialmoods · 26/11/2025 17:36

I don’t think people have become more selfish. It’s not selfish to want a decent standard of living for your own family before paying for others to have more. People can’t afford to be generous, unless they’re doing it with other people’s money. It’s very easy to claim that you are a selfless and generous person who would never begrudge others taking what you have earned when you are in the position of receiving free money from the state.

First reply nails it.

Kirbert2 · 29/11/2025 01:19

Slightyamusedandsilly · 29/11/2025 01:16

The relative that I have that has recently applied was told to keep receipts in case of auditing.

Told by who?

I get DLA for my son and no one has ever said that to me.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 29/11/2025 01:33

Kirbert2 · 29/11/2025 01:19

Told by who?

I get DLA for my son and no one has ever said that to me.

By the DLA department when she spoke to them. I have no idea who.

Mum of a child in possession of DLA at school also said she kept receipts just in case.

Tigergirl80 · 29/11/2025 03:30

kornwall · 26/11/2025 21:55

No they are not traumatic to fill in, lengthy, confusing, frustrating all words that could be used but not traumatic. Your last sentence is interesting as you state you can barely do something, which suggests that you are basically incapable of doing it. However you then go on to say you can in fact do that exact thing if you need to. I think people are fed up of people saying they are unable to do something when the actual situation is that they can do it albeit they find it very difficult. There appears to be a sector of society who now believe that they and their children should never have to experience any level of discomfort or challenge, and it is the responsibility of the government and rest of society to ensure they don't.

It depends on the circumstances. I have friends who say filling them in for their child who is disabled because of mistakes made during their birth and are living with the consequences of the brain damage. They don’t know how long their child will live for that’s traumatic. They hate having to go over it again with each new Dr they see.

With my uson a contributing factor is an undetected placental abruption we both could have died.

Gilead · 29/11/2025 07:22

Slightyamusedandsilly · 29/11/2025 01:16

The relative that I have that has recently applied was told to keep receipts in case of auditing.

That maybe because they have other benefits too,but PiP is not an out of work benefit.

OP posts:
Kirbert2 · 29/11/2025 08:08

Slightyamusedandsilly · 29/11/2025 01:33

By the DLA department when she spoke to them. I have no idea who.

Mum of a child in possession of DLA at school also said she kept receipts just in case.

I don't keep any receipts. I won't unless it becomes a requirement.

ToWhitToWhoo · 03/07/2026 20:53

JanefromLondon1 · 26/11/2025 19:21

You teach kids that anxiety is normal, everyone feels it at some point and it’s not something that means you can opt out of work or society because of it.

Anxiety as an occasional emotion is normal, Having an anxiety disorder is an illness. Two different things.

Just as being hot on a hot day is normal; having a temperature of 104 is not.

And often it's not a case of people with mental illnesses opting out of work or society, but of their being excluded from work or society..

Jellycatspyjamas · 03/07/2026 21:57

Kleeneze · 27/11/2025 10:50

I’d be happy to let the government give people money for disabilities - if they provide a receipt for costs incurred. If they can’t, they can sod off. I think that’s perfectly fair.

Some of those costs are intrinsic though. My two children have complex needs, my DD in particular has multiple health appointments with various specialisms. Each appointment is a half day off work, petrol for travel because there are no reasonable public transport options, for a long time I had to reduce my working hours because I couldn’t keep taking time off work to attend hospital with her. They both needed specialist childcare with a higher staff ratio which cost more. I’ve paid specialist tutors, clubs and activities which all cost more because of staffing levels and training. I don’t have time to work out the additional cost compared to standard provision just to prove I use the money to support their needs.

The cost of their disability runs into the £100,000s in lost earnings alone - DLA doesn’t even touch the sides but very little of that additional cost would come with a receipt attached.

ToWhitToWhoo · 03/07/2026 22:01

labamba18 · 27/11/2025 03:13

25% of working aged people are on benefits. 1 in 4. It’s not sustainable. I am more than happy for my tax to go towards supporting parents of disabled children, or disabled/chronically ill people that cannot work. But is that all 11 million in the uk?

Many working-aged people on benefits are working, and get benefits to top up low wages and in particular to help them to pay often-excessive rents.

bittertwisted · 03/07/2026 22:08

MrsMurphyIWish · 26/11/2025 19:47

My son is in receipt of DLA, he has an EHCP. DH and I are teachers and we live in a deprived area - we do see see people abusing the system and it 1. angers us as we work full time and can’t devote the time to DS that he needs and 2. We are worried because he will need a welfare state in the future that I don’t think will be there.

Edited

Exactly
nice middle class MN put their hands over their ears at the remote suggestion that people play the system because they have never walked a day in that world

it is rife and it is causing negative views about valid benefit claimants, and stealing money that should be targeted at the most needy

DS2 is currently working at HB between uni and masters, he is so shocked at the open admittance from colleagues about deliberately playing the system

I know a separated couple with a ND child. She is paid to take him to school, instead the dad who is a taxi driver takes him with other kids he is payed to take, making those vulnerable children late

she is pocketing £140 a day tax free for doing fuck all
it is disgusting

Jellycatspyjamas · 03/07/2026 22:14

Who’s paying her £140/day to take her child to school? And if the other kids are perpetually late surely the parents or the school would be complaining about that?

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