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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel the Disenfranchised have been Scapegoated.

181 replies

Gilead · 26/11/2025 17:28

Just fed up with a society that has become so incredibly selfish. The vilification of disabled people and the drubbing of benefit claimants whilst managing to forget that most of the people on universal credit are working families. Forgetting that most pensioners have worked and saved all their lives, some still paying tax. And let’s not forget those lazy bastards who are putting on an act in order to get a ‘free’ car.
I predicted this was the way we were headed on mumsnet in 2010. Got called all sorts of names, but, at that point in time people were a lot more understanding of the issues encountered by the disenfranchised.
If you want to come on here and tell me you don’t want to pay extra for someone else to have kids you can’t afford, research it first, look at the (myriad) reasons for this, the figures, the number of women who had extra children during the period. Then think how it would be if you suddenly became disabled, or more severely disabled.
Im off with my carer in a bit. In my Citroen C3 that actually cost me a wee bit more because I had to pay for the wheelchair hoist as well as the (approx) 350 quid every four weeks to cover the lease, and the insurance.

OP posts:
Kleeneze · 26/11/2025 22:17

Anyahyacinth · 26/11/2025 22:08

This is your misunderstanding PIP does not have a requirement to be spent on a specific thing…it is for the additional costs of disability…your error

I understand full well. She was given the money to help with the costs of her disability, and was suffering no costs due to her disability. Shamelessly pocketing the cash. Total scum.

Anyahyacinth · 26/11/2025 22:18

hamstersarse · 26/11/2025 21:16

So why is the welfare bill so high in your view if it’s not immigrants or people swinging the lead?

Read the studies…the rise in retirement age so sicker people who would have retired must now claim, thousands with long Covid …you’d dump all those healthcare workers claiming? Sick babies and children surviving birth injuries / serious illness but disabled ..you’d deny them? Mental health conditions, permanent learning disabilities ….who is unworthy in your world view? This budget is peanuts compared to corporations and billionaires avoiding tax . Oh and immigrants cannot claim benefits

Anyahyacinth · 26/11/2025 22:21

Kleeneze · 26/11/2025 22:17

I understand full well. She was given the money to help with the costs of her disability, and was suffering no costs due to her disability. Shamelessly pocketing the cash. Total scum.

PIP has a 32 page form to claim with evidence there is no way she wouldn’t have had to explain her needs..not scum

SpoonBaloon · 26/11/2025 22:22

I’m also not sure what the PIP is supposed to be spent on if you receive it for something like anxiety. In what sense is life more expensive for someone with anxiety vs someone without? What are the additional costs?

The welfare bill is now £47 billion more than it was pre-Covid. This is not remotely sustainable.

With regards to the two child benefit cap being lifted, I’m not sure why the focus is on child poverty and not just poverty? Surely the parents are also living in poverty if the children are? I was also raised on a council estate during the Blair years so forgive me for being cynical that this money will go towards anything for the children.

AnneShirleyBlythe · 26/11/2025 22:22

thewintergarden · 26/11/2025 20:03

Yes. And because she gets the benefits it opens all sorts of other discounts /support.

I work long bloody hours in a public sector job (with commuting and parking costs on top)! and she basically breezes along buying things I couldnt imagine affording

How old are her DC? Surely once all DC are school age there should be an expectation to work more hours? Maybe not 40 but 24-30 is doable as single parent.

edwinbear · 26/11/2025 22:23

@Anyahyacinth yes I use the roads and pay 2 x sets of road tax. I have private healthcare, but do use the GP and would call an ambulance if I ever needed to. I also rely on the council to collect the bins. I think you need to earn over £50k to be a net contributor? On that basis, I’m paying for about 4 people. DH is also a net contributor in his own right, and as I said, DC are in private school (and I had private midwives), so I’m pretty confident as a family, we cover our costs, plus a bit more. And on that basis, it’s not immoral that I get to keep a bit of what’s leftover, to myself. Or indeed put towards my pension.

thatsalad · 26/11/2025 22:36

hazelnutvanillalatte · 26/11/2025 21:16

That doesn't count all the schemes and things you don't have to pay for though. Council tax, prescriptions, winter hardship fund, dental, housing element, after school and holiday clubs, holiday food vouchers. That's thousands in savings. There's even a savings account called right to save that doubles your payment.

The highest amount you can get with right to save bank account is 25£ and you can only have the bank account for 4 years. People on this thread should really stop lying about things that you can google in 3 seconds

thatsalad · 26/11/2025 22:37

thatsalad · 26/11/2025 22:36

The highest amount you can get with right to save bank account is 25£ and you can only have the bank account for 4 years. People on this thread should really stop lying about things that you can google in 3 seconds

£25 a month I mean

Gilead · 26/11/2025 22:47

@kornwall I’m autistic, it’s difficult to explain how I manage, but I do. It’s almost as though the person trying to help others isn’t me, or is another me. I can tell you about being sick for two days beforehand, Crying, overwhelming panic. Afterwards I am in considerable pain, I can only sit in my wheelchair for a limited time.
And sorry for some people, filling in PiP forms can be traumatic. Before I retired, I had more than one parent call and say that filling them in was the first time they realised quite how much their child was so different to others.

OP posts:
EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 26/11/2025 22:50

thewintergarden · 26/11/2025 19:45

Then it's not you people are fed up about

It's Bill who gets motability but could buy a Beemer out right.

And Jenny who works 16 hours a week and refuses to take a promotion or do more hours because she's living the high life on universal credit.

And Mary who gets Winter Fuel Allowance even though shes got millions in the bank

But if Jenny doesn't take the extra hours or the promotion someone else will. There's far fewer jobs available than there are people looking for work, if Jenny takes the hours perhaps someone else has no job at all...

Point being really that Jenny acting differently doesn't fix the underlying problems - problems that are only going to get worse as workers being replaced by AI really takes off.

AnneShirleyBlythe · 26/11/2025 22:54

thewintergarden · 26/11/2025 21:14

Quite.
She's been offered a promotion and turned it down. She's been offered full time hours and turned them down

What job pays her £2000 pm for 16 hrs pw? So I can apply for it? Is that before tax?

oviraptor21 · 26/11/2025 23:20

Gilead · 26/11/2025 20:36

@thewintergarden Nobody on benefits can buy a 50 grand BMW and this is exactly how the bad press starts and continues. There are no ‘free cars’. No discounted cars, motability is a charity who lease cars. Sometimes you can pay a non returnable deposit to get a larger car. For wheelchair Accessible vehicles there is almost always a hefty deposit and if you have a particularly large chair , a Mercedes van can be the only available option. I manage with a smaller car and hoist but if all cars are going to have a three thousand deposit, I will be housebound, again.

Yes they can.
PIP is not a means tested benefit so someone can be earning a decent wage and getting PIP as well (perfectly fair) but it doesn't sit well if they are using the PIP to subsidise a luxury car.

AnneShirleyBlythe · 26/11/2025 23:25

JHound · 26/11/2025 20:49

There is nothing wrong with putting money into pensions to avoid a higher tax rate or wanting avoid the 62% tax trap between 100-120k. Those on that are harder living uber wealthy lives.

There is currently a cap on what people can sacrifice into pensions tax tree. Reducing that to TWO THOUSAND pounds is moronic. They are forcing more people to be dependent on the state instead of taking charge of their own lives.

People should he putting thousands into their pension. We currently have a huge pensions shortfall with fewer people having enough for retirement. Why on earth are you applauding that being worse? This also impacts those putting into their pension at a “normal” rate and disincentivises employer contributions. Making more dependent on the state pension.

(and people pay tax when they end up drawing their pension).

Edited

You have misunderstood todays pension changes. Contributing up to £60,000 tax free still stands. However if you are in a salary sacrifice scheme rather than net pay scheme your employer will now pay NI contributions on amounts over £2000 pa.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cd9zx8z5d1no

A couple sit at a large table in front of a laptop with a calculator and notebooks. They look to be going over a budgets and finances. The man is dressed in a dark t-shirt while the woman has a long-sleeved striped top.

Salary sacrifice: Pension tax break reduced by chancellor

Some pension savers face a hit to the amount of money they can put into their pension without paying national insurance.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cd9zx8z5d1no

dottiehens · 26/11/2025 23:27

MrsMurphyIWish · 26/11/2025 19:47

My son is in receipt of DLA, he has an EHCP. DH and I are teachers and we live in a deprived area - we do see see people abusing the system and it 1. angers us as we work full time and can’t devote the time to DS that he needs and 2. We are worried because he will need a welfare state in the future that I don’t think will be there.

Edited

I hope you absolutely report this people cheating the benefits system. You must.

Hoardasurass · 26/11/2025 23:30

Gilead · 26/11/2025 21:48

@SpoonBaloon Pip forms are not available on line. And they are bloody traumatic to fill in.

@Hoardasurass you have no idea what it took for that woman to speak out on Question Time. Your assumptions are just as bad as staff telling me in hospital that I don’t seem autistic.
I can barely have a conversation with people outside my circle, but if I need to I can talk to pharmacies and hospitals about diagnosing and prescribing for autistic people.

As an autistic woman I'm well aware of the misinformation about asd and the unhelpful comments from people towards myself who like you doesn't appear autistic and my ds who I've been told atleast he looks autistic (whatever that means) and I've also battled anxiety for as long as I can remember. Now as I also have dyslexia and hypermobility filling out all the forms for my ds really is the stuff of nightmares, but on no way shape or form is it traumatic and that woman was clearly taking the piss. I suggest you watch the episode and her facial expression she clearly swings between smugness and outrage and back again, its quite informative and is exactly why people are getting fed up with it
Do you know what really pisses me off about people like her its that she wont suffer when they do away with the system completely no it'll be my ds and the other severely disabled kids in his special school who wont have the help they need to survive, and with the assisted dieing bill going through parliament right now we are 1 step away from Canada where when you cant get the financial support you need to live the shuttle you off to a dr who literally kills you. Look up MAID laws in Canada and the numbers of poor disabled people who are killing themselves because they cant afford to live

nomas · 26/11/2025 23:33

Celestialmoods · 26/11/2025 17:36

I don’t think people have become more selfish. It’s not selfish to want a decent standard of living for your own family before paying for others to have more. People can’t afford to be generous, unless they’re doing it with other people’s money. It’s very easy to claim that you are a selfless and generous person who would never begrudge others taking what you have earned when you are in the position of receiving free money from the state.

Good post. Why does everyone need to be jumping and down with joy at funding others? It’s something that just happens, it doesn’t need joyous affirmation.

TinyHousemouse · 26/11/2025 23:37

I dunno. DH has had a brain tumour, a mini stroke, has PTSD and still works full time. I’ve had cancer, and a lifetime of MH issues including ED, depression and anxiety and I have also always worked full time. We have one DD, I can’t have any more because of the cancer but even if we could we wouldn’t because we don’t feel we could afford it despite both of us being higher rate tax payers and what MN would probably consider as well off. I have seen people not working on what seems to be less significant trauma than we have been through (my cancer and his stroke happened in my maternity leave) and I KNOW it’s wrong but I can’t help myself sometimes thinking “I’m working so hard, I’ve been ill, I’m still suffering the after effects of it, yet x’s mum from nursery does fuck all because of her “mental health” and gets free childcare yet here’s me struggling into
work and paying for my childcare and hers as well”. I know it’s not right to think this way and I couldn’t possibly know what’s going on in other people’s lives but when I’m tired, and I feel guilty that I’ve missed DD’s bedtime because I’m in a meeting, I can’t help it. I can’t be the only one. I await flaming, maybe I deserve it, I just don’t know anymore.

nomas · 26/11/2025 23:38

AnneShirleyBlythe · 26/11/2025 23:25

You have misunderstood todays pension changes. Contributing up to £60,000 tax free still stands. However if you are in a salary sacrifice scheme rather than net pay scheme your employer will now pay NI contributions on amounts over £2000 pa.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cd9zx8z5d1no

Which will cost the employee in the end, @JHound is right, it’s disinincentivising ordinary people from saving into a pension via salary sacrifice. Many people use salary sacrifice,

SisterTeatime · 26/11/2025 23:43

nomas · 26/11/2025 23:33

Good post. Why does everyone need to be jumping and down with joy at funding others? It’s something that just happens, it doesn’t need joyous affirmation.

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head here. People cough up, they don’t have to be happy about it when their own standard of living is dropping like a stone.

nomas · 26/11/2025 23:45

SisterTeatime · 26/11/2025 23:43

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head here. People cough up, they don’t have to be happy about it when their own standard of living is dropping like a stone.

Exactly. Not only do we have the daily slog, we now need to be mindful of everyone else's feelings as well.

CrossChecking · 26/11/2025 23:46

I think that the UK is stuck in an austerity mindset. There is just constant talk about what to take away and from who and very little talk about what and who to invest in. The UK isn't going to become prosperous again by taking from the poorest and most vulnerable.

All this austerity mindset has done is lead to chronic under funding of education, healthcare, infrastructure which hurts longterm productivity and competitiveness. It's has worsened poverty, weakened social mobility, and created health and educational disadvantages. Created political instability, allowing populist movements to rise. It leads to 'brain drain' and weakens universities and innovation downgrading future economic prospects.

Imo people are looking at the wrong issues entirely by constantly looking at who to take from next instead of looking and who to invest in.

oviraptor21 · 27/11/2025 00:20

Gilead · 26/11/2025 21:48

@SpoonBaloon Pip forms are not available on line. And they are bloody traumatic to fill in.

@Hoardasurass you have no idea what it took for that woman to speak out on Question Time. Your assumptions are just as bad as staff telling me in hospital that I don’t seem autistic.
I can barely have a conversation with people outside my circle, but if I need to I can talk to pharmacies and hospitals about diagnosing and prescribing for autistic people.

Some people can apply for PIP online but it is currently restricted according to postcode. Our area was doing this but seems to have stopped. After making the initial enquiry to start a claim, the claimant would be sent a link to use to make the online claim. The paper version is over 40 pages long

JHound · 27/11/2025 00:23

AnneShirleyBlythe · 26/11/2025 23:25

You have misunderstood todays pension changes. Contributing up to £60,000 tax free still stands. However if you are in a salary sacrifice scheme rather than net pay scheme your employer will now pay NI contributions on amounts over £2000 pa.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cd9zx8z5d1no

Employers AND employees will have to pay NI over 2k.

There'll be extra National Insurance costs for employers, lower take-home salaries potentially and then there's the administration costs of any change in pension policy.
"Employers may just think the administration costs of changing this isn't worth it and scrap the whole thing," she added.
"Overall, I'd say this is a net-negative in terms of getting the UK saving more."
Others in the pensions industry suggested the removal of the tax break could lead to companies reducing planned pay rises and contributing less to pensions overall.
"Expect to see employers reining in their contributions," said Alex Foster, a Partner at Blick Rothenberg.

That is moronic and disincentivises people from putting more into their pensions.

Friendlygingercat · 27/11/2025 01:52

If people cannot do salary sacrifice then they are going to change their behaviour. One method is reduce their hours and therefore the amount that goes tinto tax. They will look at how many hours they need to work in order to meet their financial obligations. In many cases swapping from 5 to 4 days a week will leave them little worse off because they will pay less tax. Ive seen the calculations done here on MN. They can then spend more time with their family rather than work for the tax man. Or use the extra time to find some cash in hand work.

Apileofballyhoo · 27/11/2025 02:46

thewintergarden · 26/11/2025 19:52

No , it really doesn't. I make £57k a year and my friend doing 16 hours on UC has the same income coming in as I do after tax . And she has cheaper (social) housing whereas I private rent

I'd love to see the figures on that.