To not want to stay at this family members house again bevmcause she doesn't change the sheets between guests?

[Bulbsbulbsbulbs]

I've just been to stay for 4 nights and was told that sheets aren't changed between guests. Told "'it was only X who stayed in them and she's family so I don't see the problem". I said I wasn't comfortable with it and was laughed at and told I was being snobbish/ precious. It wasn't in a nasty way but clearly whatever I say the sheets won't get changed as "they aren't dirty".

Then I was told not to strip the bed because Y is coming to stay next week then Z is coming for Christmas.

I honestly find it pretty revolting and don't want to stay again. My husband says it's fine, he's not bothered, but I know it's just because he doesn't want to cause offence . I really would rather pay to stay in a hotel.

So am I being precious?

I really did want to know if I'm being unreasonable. I was made to feel bad for expecting clean sheets and laughed at for not wanting to sleep in someone else's!

Your DH is a wet lettuce, btw. You're not wrong and he's an arse for making you feel bad.

Yes, he is a wet lettuce in that respect. Every argument we've ever had has been about him not backing me up. He just wants to keep the peace, doesn't want to offend or upset anyone.

I don't want to offend either but I think next time I'll either offer to bring my own and say it's 'helping' or just take my own. Trouble is she puts a hot water bottle in our bed so would see the sheets!

This would be Dh if I didn’t make him clean the spare room and wash the sheets between guests. It’s grim.

It’s a painful experience, and it takes me about 4 days of nagging and prodding (he’s the only one who ever invites people to stay, I invite no one because I don’t want them here 😂)…but eventually I manage to get him to strip the bed and wash the sheets. Just in time to hand them off in a pile to whoever is staying as they head upstairs so that they have to go make their own bed in order to sleep. 🙈 It drives me nuts, but at least it’s clean.

He thinks no one cares because he wouldn’t care. But I’m like, no, people don’t want to sleep in dirty sheets. 😩

But clearly he is ok with upsetting you!

I wouldn’t be remotely bothered to sleep in my parents’ spare bed if my sister had spent the night in it the week before and the sheets hadn’t been changed. If she’d slept in it for a fortnight, or it was a stranger, and the sheets hadn’t been changed, that’s different.

Yes, why is upsetting you not a problem? Infuriating.

My sil is like this. The towels also. I HATE staying at her house. It’s disgusting.

You are not precious, but I would just bring my own bedding rather than never stay there again.

I have a family member who has the lowest housekeeping standards of anyone I know and even they always put clean sheets on every bed when people come to stay.

Yuck..

I'd work around the argument by bringing my own sheets and stripping the bed. I'd then make a point of asking your host whether she wants you to put them back on or whether she wants to wash them before the next set.

Top tip: don't tell your husband though. Surprise him. Or else he will whinge about being polite because he doesn't have a spine.

When I was about 15 I stayed at my cousin's house for a few nights - her daughter is my age. The bed sheets had clearly not been changed as there was menstrual blood on them. I was too scared to say anything so they probably thought it was mine! Never told my parents and I was never invited again. It was grim.
Needless to say all guests have clean sheets & fresh towels in our house!

Absolutely! This is how our arguments go. I think he sees me kind of like an extension of himself, so everyone else's feelings come first.

Depends if previous guests had stayed over a week I assume the sheets had been changed but a few days I would have thought they would be ok

Unless those sleeping in the bed before are very slobby

My standards are generally pretty low and even I think that's grim!

I'd hate it and it would put me off staying again, so YANBU.

So the family member you are complaining about wouldnt find offence at any of these comments and emojis?

🤮 Gross. Sod that. Dirty fucker x

I cannot imagine anything worse than staying over at someone else's house or having anyone stay at mine. Clean sheets or not. It ain't happening.

What a horrible post

I’m the same. I know someone who is always at other people’s houses staying overnight for days on end. Just no.

Why? It’s only what everyone else is thinking

Let him stay there while you get a hotel.

They literally laughed at you. Why would you continue to suffer in order to appease them?

His failure to back you up is approaching dealbreaker… he puts you last. Think about it.

That makes me want to throw up. I wouldn't stay there again, or if you have to, take a complete set of your own bedding, including duvet. And your own towels.

Pretty grim. I'd bring a sleeping bag and pillow case with me next time.

Ugh!!

I think that is pretty grim.

If I am travelling by car and staying at someone's house I tend to take my own sheets anyway to save them washing sheets after just 1 or 2 nights. Under these circumstances I would definitely take my own sheets/pillowcases!