That DSS’s mum losing her house isn’t our problem.

[heavenknow]

DSS is 20, graduating uni in 6 months. DH has paid a generous maintenance throughout. The agreement they had in place was financial support ended in Dec 25. (Due to lump sum payments requested by ex)
She has now said if we can’t continue the payments for a minimum of 6-12 months then she will lose her house. She currently works for herself. AIBU to think this isn’t our problem?

@FancyBiscuitsLevel It would’ve made more sense to have downsized this year tbh if she knew that she wouldn’t be able to afford her current property without the maintenance. It’s all very odd.

But the ‘maintenance’ amount till end of uni has already been paid as part of the lump sum payment. It’s not like she’s being shortchanged what she’s owed.

Perhaps if things are so dire and needs to consider getting a 2nd job. It’s not like she needs to work around her son.

But this goes back to the dad and step mums bad decision- they knew the lump sum was for the mother’s business debts, not maintenance. They knew it wouldn’t be spent on DSS yet they agreed to it, knowing DSS would still be in full time education and needing support at the point the money ran out.

knowing the lump sum was to prop up a failing business and still allowing it to be classed as maintenance was a shockingly shit decision by the dad. Knowing it would push this crunch to the last key months of his son’s education yet agreeing to it was super shit. Yes the mother agreed to this, the father has to own the fact he went along with it.

OP's DH gave DSS's mum a generous lump sum that he legally didn't need to do. It was entirely at her discretion what she spent the money on. If he gives her more money, she could spend it on something else and keep coming back for more money.

As she is renting and obviously now has no income, I don't understand why she hasn't applied for UC and help with her rent. If she hasn't done this, what is she living on? She has obviously become accustomed to being supported financially by her son's father and has made no provision re her finances for what happens when this arrangement ends. I think that if OP's DH gives her this money now, she will keep coming back for more.

Absolutely. And I imagine DSS will realise this

Great. I’ll give you my account details right away!

If DSS is still basically living at his Mum's, i.e. most of his stuff is there and he just takes the basics up to uni for term-time, then maybe not putting an extra load of stress on him in the run up to his finals would be best for him - yes it's annoying as the agreement was only until December, but is it worth the risk of screwing up his final degree classification, considering the amount of money that's already been invested in his education?

Lots of people here saying, pay it for another 6-9 months etc, as it's morally the right thing to do - I'm sure the OP will pass on bank details for anyone so generous.

And obviously all the people saying that would be happy to pay their exes rent for years because it’s morally the right thing to do. Honestly some people on here are so full of it and they think people actually believe them too.

How could he be homeless when his dad's home is his home too?

Or do you think only the mum's home is home?

makes me wonder if it's been linked to some kind of bitter divorced dads pile on.

That's ridiculous as a bitter bio mum pile on.

OP's DH has done everything right, paid 50/50 child support even though they have DS 50/50.

Of course the arrangement should end by the end date.

When your mortgage ends, will you give the bank an extra 6 months of payments?

so hiss dad paid maintence even though he had him half the time and posters are saying he shoujld carry on paying

ridiculous

I'm still not convinced that DSS is going to get a reduced degree classification due to his mother's situation, especially not if he can move in with his father and the OP. Its not like he's 12 ....