To ask you what is the worst thing your MIL has done or said to you?

[IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour]

I’ll start. We lost a baby at 25 weeks pregnant, a little girl, the whole situation was awful. 6 months later I was pregnant with a little boy and we waited until 20+ weeks to tell anyone about him because we were nervous (understandably).

We phoned MIL on speaker phone to tell her our happy news about the new baby (we already had a son) and her first response was ‘well when am I going to get some granddaughters?’

There are many more examples but this really took the biscuit

These sort of wounds cut deep and lead to an ongoing LC/NC situation. I still think my husband doesn’t get it, he doesn’t understand why her ‘clumsy language’ has basically made me resent her for 13 years. I don’t understand how it didn’t hit him as hard as it did me. After all this time I still cannot stand the woman. There have been other incidents too of her being ‘clumsy’ or just plain rude over the years but I will never forget how she made me feel that day and slightly resent husband for not ever calling her out on it.

I don’t see what’s massively wrong with either of those??

I assume you're joking???!!!!

You can't possibly have taken offence to this?! Mildly amusing/vaguely irritating perhaps but offensive?! How?!

Good God.

Oh my MIL wouldn't have done it in front of my DH. He has her measure but is decent, moral and kind. He pays for her daily carer, he visits monthly, I visit yearly. We are 240 miles apart. I refer to her as the "old bag" and he never raises an eyebrow.

Mine told my DH's nan that she was going to kill me, get rid of me.

Went round to PIL to say we were having a baby. MIL said "well it's too late for us now". No big smile or congratulations. Felt so sorry for DH who was thrilled. Not our fault BIL who is 11 years older never married/chose to have children.

What is wrong with giving an example of a child who ended up having a good time??? Yes, I’m fully aware of Autism etc my DC has it. But you need to remember that older generations often aren’t as clued up on it as us. It wasn’t something regularly diagnosed until the 70s I believe.

Very true, my MiL says really thoughtless hurtful things to her own daughter. For example, when SiL'd lost her hair and her skin was yellow due to chemo for breast cancer MiL said "you look a sight!"
She just says the first thing that passes through her head.... verbal diarrhoea. Nothing to do with being a MiL.

MIL is no contact/low contact with her two daughters. I have no doubt she is a horrible person who happens to be my MIL rather than horrible because she’s my MIL

Ok mine isn’t quite so bad but when I had my first baby, she turned up every single day without warning. She even turned up with friends completely unannounced.

We were sat there eating dinner, absolutely exhausted, and she walks in with her friend and says ‘sorry to disturb your dinner!’ And then sits there with her friend for around 30 mins and offered for her friend to hold the baby.

She was told numerous times to stop turning up without messaging first and she ignored it. She only listened when I locked the door one day and she knocked, I looked to see who it was (she could see me as it’s a conservatory), and I just walked back into the house and ignored her.

I think in hindsight that she just went absolutely loopy with her first Grandchild. She had always been ‘the head’ of all the family, always made sure everyone met up regularly, always gave her opinion etc & I think she struggled realising that she wasn’t ‘in charge’ of our new family unit.

She’s fine now.

MIL wanted to be in the delivery room. Obviously said no and she gave us a the silent treatment.

I worked for my MIL (how I met DH) and she's always been quite firey and difficult, but we got on well.
I had a nasty accident resulting in a broken bone where I was supposed to be attending a voluntary, unpaid event with work. I couldn't go clearly and let her know -not only was I in a lot of pain, I looked battered and bruised and would have been physically unable to do anything. She was HORRIBLE to me. Really angry, then wouldn't talk to me, left me out of the staff Christmas gifts that were given out at the Christmas dinner (while I was sitting there and everyone else looked really awkward).
Another time I had terrible flu and couldn't even get out of bed. She turned up at my door and tried to force her way past my dad to see if I was really ill. I'd probably had 2 days sick in 3 years, so it's not like I was a serial offender. My dad did tell her to fuck off in a more polite way. Again, horrible to me for weeks.
Not the worst things I've read on here, but this kind of behaviour was a real pattern with her, even when I left. She liked to punish people (including DH) and liked everyone to do as she said all the time.
We've been NC with now for over 20 years.

Asked me at 4 days postpartum, (after turning up unannounced) “why does your house look like this” referring to washing being out, the house being lived in and not like an immaculate showhouse.
i’d been in hospital 3 days and had an episiotomy so felt pretty rough and was first baby too so didn’t know what to expect.
was just about to launch her when the doorbell rang.
needless to say i packed our things up when my son was just under 2 and we left, she was an absolute cowbag to me.

She attacked me, physically, I’m not sure if she was trying to drag me to the ground or break my arm. DH managed to get her away from me.

Our children don’t even know she exists. I wouldn’t spit on her if she was on fire.

When my mum is out of order I tell her. Either she looks a bit sheepish or reins it in. It’s easier to argue with your own mother than trying to just smile sweetly to your MIL.

I commented earlier on about my own mil, now no longer with us. I am a mil now and I hope my dil never posts about me on one of these posts. I hope she loves me though as I love her and I am happy that my son is happy and that is enough for me.

She told me I ought to do something about my hyperemesis, because she was worried about DH and the toll it was taking on him.

(Pure speculation, by the way - DH was fine - could not have been more supportive or caring, and was furious with MIL!)

Mine announced our engagement before it had taken place.

my mum passed away just before I became pregnant. When she found out the news of the pregnancy MIL said “ooh I get to be the only grandma!”

I would think that if it was her mother who had said some of these things no-one would bat an eyelid!

My MIL was the nicest, kindest-hearted woman you could ever hope to meet. I loved her to bits. But I have an awful story from a former colleague, who had Downs syndrome twins. Her MIL said, 'Well, it didn't come from MY side of the family.' Colleague's DM, meanwhile, announced she was praying for the twins to be cured. I lost touch with the colleague soon after she gave birth and often wonder how her life with the twins turned out.

This is indefensible and reminds me of the ‘clumsy’ language my MIL uses. I hope your husband saw it for what it was and spoke to her about it. Mine just makes excuses

If my mother had said ‘when am I getting some granddaughters’ whilst I was still grieving for a lost baby daughter, I would have an awful lot to say to her

Because when a MIL says something really unkind, as mine did, it's impossible to let it go. They show you who they are.

Each to their own