To ask you what is the worst thing your MIL has done or said to you?

[IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour]

I’ll start. We lost a baby at 25 weeks pregnant, a little girl, the whole situation was awful. 6 months later I was pregnant with a little boy and we waited until 20+ weeks to tell anyone about him because we were nervous (understandably).

We phoned MIL on speaker phone to tell her our happy news about the new baby (we already had a son) and her first response was ‘well when am I going to get some granddaughters?’

There are many more examples but this really took the biscuit

My MIL is as you describe 🥰

Nothing, because she’s lovely and I like her very much.

At a family wedding where my dh was the best man (groom was his little brother) the photographer asked for the family to go up for pics with the bride and groom. DH beckoned for me to go up, MIL said ‘no, it’s family only’, but took my small baby daughter off me to go in the photo with DH. I was so shocked I just stood there, with DH looking mortified but no one wanting to cause a fuss mid-wedding. That was a long time ago and I didn’t have the confidence to call her out. It would have been a different outcome if it happened now! I have been NC with her now for many years over many similar instances.

She was determined to hate me from day one because she wanted him to marry his girlfriend prior to me. I genuinely don’t think it’s me who is the issue as I never really fall out with people and she’s the only person I’ve ever cut contact with completely.

Why just MIL though? Mother's can be just as bad sadly

At the funeral of DH's Grandpa, MIL asked what the fuck I was doing there as I wasn't family. We were married, over 10 years. There's a long list of similar outbursts.

She really ranted for a long, loud time; other family members tried to shut her up without success.

To his credit, DH stepped in & threatened to throw her on the fire with her Dad if she didn't shut up.

My MIL pointing out what our autistic son can't do infront if him in a mocking way.

He was 3, and non verbal at the time. She asked him his age and said "what, don't you know your own age" in a very patronising mocking voice

Saying she was disappointed at not getting a new grandchild when I had an ectopic pregnancy

She looked into my newborn son’s pram and said “wow, he really doesn’t get anything from you does he?” She then began calling him “my little {insert exh’s first name}”.

Her delightful son left me when I was 8 months’ pregnant with DS2 having had an affair. She told so many lies about me and spread all kinds of nasty rumours saying I wouldn’t let him see the DC because she knew he’d made no effort to see them. So lucky to raise my kids without that poisonous witch in our lives.

I wasn't referring to your post, but the people clearly upset by the DILs here sharing their own experiences, which are frankly awful. Can you understand why DILs who have had these experiences feel the way they do?

I know there are some very lovely MILs out there. My own mother is one of them, she loves her DIL and they are very close.

My MIL is not like that. She frequently lets my DH know she can't understand why he's married to me. I'm VLC with her now, only see her when absolutely necessary. I didn't think it would be like this, as we had a good relationship before DH and I married. But, honestly, her behaviour makes me wonder if she's from another species sometimes.

Naturally, people will want to vent about shitty MILs more than others will want to gush about how wonderful their MILs are. And I think that's okay, isn't it?

We asked my MIL for an apology. Her reply was "I didn't do that, how can you think that if me. I won't tell FIL you think that or me"

She has never apologized for her behaviour or the things she has done in 10 years of marriage

That’s so awful.
Im lucky my mil is lovely, she just sometimes makes some backhanded compliments like “like wow youre so beautiful today, you mustve lost weight!”
”not really but thank you!”
”oh no you mustve done you looked much bigger last time I saw you!”

And somethint about how she assumed Id be massive with my second child since I was so big with my first.🤔

My mum can be similar.

Why are they so obsessed with weight?

My MIL was brilliant, and excellent grandma. I miss her like mad...
My mum, not so much.

Flippantly said oh your grandad had that when we told her her son had incurable prostate cancer. I can't forgive her or FIL for not telling my husband of the family history.

I had major hear surgery and some serious complications after. I couldn’t eat afterwards - a sort of anorexia I think due to the trauma of it all. Over a few months I lost two stone. When I had some really helpful therapy (EMDR that I mentioned on another thread) I began to pick up physically and mentally. When I visited MiL I told her I was fancying food again which I was pleased about as I had lost so much weight. Her gem of a reply? “Well you had it to lose”. Charming.

mine... well she has been gone for many years now. It was a very small wedding planned (both our second, both the primary parents for our children, (me a daughter, my husband 2 sons) , hurricane hit our place of honeymoon 4 days before wedding. we had to choose...our wedding, or cancel it and have our wedding the evening before as we could catch a flight to a different area the next morning (punta cana) . she said.. well maybe this is a sign. maybe you are not right for each other. we got married the night before we took our honeymoon to punta cana. We are over 20 years married now...retired at 55 and for the last 3 almost 4 years...live in punta cana! after our honeymoon we fell in love with this island and came at least 3 x per year...now we go up to canada 2x a year to visit our kids.

My mil has some kind of anti filter. Like her brain says don't say that and it's all she can say.

We had a miscarriage and later got engaged and she said 'ud have been happier if you'd said you were pregnant again' well, me too but we'd actually just suffered another miscarriage she didn't know about.

So many things after our kids were born.

She's actually ok though and kind deep down I think just a bit selfish and spoilt

Gave me bathroom scales as a birthday present when I was one month postpartum!

@IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour I understand. After two late miscarriages and losing our second son after just a few hours at 27 weeks, MIL announced "such a shame you can't perform". I have others but that took the biscuit.

She's has been a widow for more than 15 years, has no friends and her daughters went abroad more than 35 years ago and very very rarely visit. She's 89 now with no friends, having fallen out with many people. Initially butter wouldn't melt but she can't keep it up.

She's a nasty, bitter bitch. So long ago now, dd who was born 51 weeks later is 27. I have never forgiven her but got the measure of her that day.

I am so very sorry for both your losses.. I hope she is not in your life at all any more she is a total BITCH

sorry....so sorry...three losses

This could have come from her trying to give you some hope that things wouldnt always be as dark and sad.

Worst thing MIL said .... "OH, I didn't notice" .... this after she had been looking after my 4 year old for the day who, when I came back, only had one plait .. she started the day with two!!!

Which just goes to show you can take offence at just about anything if you put your mind to it.

Mine didn't say it to me, but it got back to me that mine was gossiping about me at Church, of all places. Seems she didn't believe I had been raped and was making it up for attention, despite finding out from FIL what DH had talked to him about and never having been told directly.

"Bloody kids, can't get away from them." This on being told I was pregnant with her second grandchild.