To ask you what is the worst thing your MIL has done or said to you?

[IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour]

I’ll start. We lost a baby at 25 weeks pregnant, a little girl, the whole situation was awful. 6 months later I was pregnant with a little boy and we waited until 20+ weeks to tell anyone about him because we were nervous (understandably).

We phoned MIL on speaker phone to tell her our happy news about the new baby (we already had a son) and her first response was ‘well when am I going to get some granddaughters?’

There are many more examples but this really took the biscuit

Over the past few years: There’s been the ignoring me and mainly talking to just my DH. Offering just food and drink to my husband. Asking if one of our kids would outgrow their autism. When visiting her new grandchild, she turned up with a pair of socks for the new grandchild and a box of my DH’s favourite chocolate (this is what she said). When we told her how we were struggling with our child with autism and how we couldn’t go on holidays as they wouldn’t be able to cope on a plane, she went on at length about how her brother’s grandchild (no disabilities) had gone on a plane and was scared at first but then had a brilliant time on holiday. Thoughtless, passive aggressive crap behaviour.

There is literally nothing wrong with either of these comments 😂

Telling us DD would die a horrible death if she wasn’t christened.
Went through my stuff and read all DH’s letters to me when he was away in the 1st Gulf war, I stayed with them for a while because DD was only 6 months old and we were based in Germany.
She’s been dead 25 years and I still hate her.
Everyone thought she a wonderful, Christian Woman, but to me she was vile, I was just not good enough for her Son you see.
She would have been 80 next week, vile old cow.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I gave birth to my first baby ( a boy ) at 24 weeks and he passed away 2 hours after birth x

My ex mil was a nasty nasty woman. Her abusive son could do no wrong in her eyes. It was all my fault.

I moved put and got my own property when I was pregnant with my DD as he was violent and according to his mum it was my fault his property was disgustingly dirty and that he had no gas or electric 🤦‍♀️ ( we'd been living apart for months by this point and my house was lovely clean and tidy )

When he stole our sons ashes she encouraged him to take them to her house in Ireland and encouraged him to give me fake ashes back

He forwarded me an email once where I'd just given birth to our 2nd DS, he had IUGR and was smaller than my first born son and looked just like him. I had severe PND and his mum told him to leave me on my own with both babies and "she'll soon be begging for your help"

I begged for his help frequently before her "advice" but you know the type, can't do no wrong and their mums believe them 🤦‍♀️

I was only 18 when I met him and I always tried to be polite to her and be the bigger person

She ended up getting cancer and was dying, I'd fled DV years prior and he was found guilty in court and nor allowed to contact or communicate with me or our D.

She got her daughters friend to message me on Facebook with her home phone number and said she was dying of cancer and would like to see my children ( who she hadn't seen for 5 years and my kids were 8 months old and 2.6 years old when I left, they had no memory of her at all + she lived in a different country, she'd met my dc a handful of times )

I will never forget ringing her up and saying it was me, her putting on a sickly voice and asking if her daughter had told me the news. I took great delight in saying yes and I didn't give a fuck. The surprise in her voice 😅 she then told me to enjoy my life and I told her to enjoy what was left of hers.

I don't know if she genuinely did expect me to bring my children to a stranger they didn't know who was dying of cancer so she could cry on them and then die? Or if she knew I'd say no and wanted one more way to paint me to be a villain 🤷‍♀️

I take great pleasure in knowing that she either tried to guilt me or manipulate me even on her death bed and she couldn't

If there's a God he knows why I did it and I honestly don't think he will judge me for it 😅

She must know my MIL, she said my husband was cursed because he has arthrogryposis and he has earnes it for being the devil in a past life.

Why is this directed at MILs? They are just another person at the end of the day. Nothing about them being an MIL makes them intrinsically awful. If they are awful then they are awful despite whoever they are.

Why start a thread about this 13yrs later?

Congratulations op!

You need to up your game regarding sarcastic come backs!
My mil is nice to be fair, wasn’t a huge fan of her bitey bichon when DD was little and made it known but aside from that she’s pretty good and probably scared of me.

I’ve known my MIL for over 40 years now and she has never once said anything mean or thoughtless to me. In fact, she has only ever said lovely thing to me. She still tells me I am an amazing wife and mother , that I’m beautiful and that I am looking very slim. I’m not sure that the slim comments are that accurate but I don’t mind.

I see nothing wrong with either of those, sorry!

Have
been ill a long time having tests etc after having life saving surgery.

She told me that "this has been going on a long time now what are you going to do about it?"

Then when I finally got diagnosed after waiting nearly a year to see an expert told me that She "didn't think I had that because she knew someone with it who was in a wheelchair.

She also told me that she didn't think my dad had dementia after he was diagnosed.

I have worked out that it's probably that it's stuff that takes the attention away from her and she doesn't like itve

She was a right harridan. I'm single now.

But one of the comments that stuck with me:

'That long hair is gonna make your son gay.'

He was 2. So many things wrong I couldn't even argue with her. I took my son and walked out. Sat in the car until my ex came out and drove us home.

The awful MILs are telling on themselves tonight!

Another 'death by a thousand cuts' MIL here, plenty of awful comments but nothing that scratches the surface of some of things mentioned here.

People can be absolutely disgusting at times.

@Didimum

Clues in the posts, been mentioned a couple of times It’s just so close to Christmas now that I know we will have some contact with MIL so wanted some other stories in empathy

Well at best the second one is patronising - it’s not like it’s something profound that the poster has never thought of before… Aside from that it’s pretty crass thing to say to someone who has just lost both parents? True, but not necessary.

After the death of my DM, MIL offered to host DH and DC abroad for a week as they’d been through a tough time.
Also arranged a surprise 40th birthday for DH without me and DC.

My ex mil said to exdp when he told her he'd proposed to me that 'he could do better'. We never did tie the knot.

She accused me of trying to shit her off from my ds's life because despite the fact that she was holding him only a few hours after he was born, and we spent his first Christmas in her house instead of ours, I wanted to keep some of mountain of presents she and her boyfriend had got for him.

He was born in October and for Christmas they had bought him essentially everything he would need for the next 18 months, and not even really left us anything to get for him for his first Christmas. There literally wasn't space to store most of it in our house there was so much, much of it tat I really didn't think was safe for him to have.

I actually posted about it on here and got ripped to shreds for being ungrateful. It wasn't that I was ungrateful, it felt as though I had served my purpose as incubator for her darling gc and was now irrelevant, despite only being 11 weeks pp. She literally screamed at me and threw me out of her house.

I had just wanted to spend the day snuggled up with ds and dp eating roast potatoes and enjoying a calm first Christmas with our brand new baby boy. Every Christmas has had some drama or other ever since and it's really tarnished the whole thing.

When I finally left exdp, she accused me of bringing nothing to the relationship. Never mind ds, the few thousand pounds of savings I had, multiple items of furniture for our first house together, or putting my own career on hold so exdp could advance his. She soon changed her tune when I reclaimed all the furniture that I had bought over the years and left her precious golden boys house 'utterly empty'

There are many many more but those are a couple of choice ones off the top of my head.

I turned up at my wedding to find extra people invited, the weddings vows had been changed and her (uninvited) sister making a mad long speech at the register office. Also promised various catering and didn’t do it.
I swear only didn’t walk away because I knew she expected me to flip my shit and leave the venue unmarried. The poor registrar was mortified ‘informing’ me she had changed the vows for more traditional ones.
Thats just one of many batshit behaviours.

Are they? Can't say I have noticed. Hopefully the time will come when you are a MIL and you will have to put up with people referring to you as if you are part of a different species. You might feel differently then. FWIW I adore my DIL.

I don't have a mil but my mother is pretty awful. I was on my 2nd pregnancy, in and out of hospital due to hg, almost died twice. I lost the baby at 14 weeks in the end. I rang and told her and she goes, "yeah I thought you would." And that was that, she went on about work shit after.

Called me the n word and also said because my little boy never actually "lived" (died at birth) I had no reason to be upset

That I should have been over it by now. One week after having a miscarriage.

!!! This really is lowest of the low

My MIL was ok, just a bit of a fusspot, but FIL was horrible. Lots of examples of his nasty comments, for instance-
DH rang to tell him our eldest had been born and he replied Oh not another boy! (he already had a grandson).
We were taking photos at Christmas and he told me to leave the group as I wasn't family.
DD bought him some socks for his birthday and he said, with a look of disgust, Where on earth am I going to wear these? (I pointed out that 7 year old DD had bought these with her pocket money and he could at least say thank you).
He was generally ok to our two DC but he didn't hide that he didn't like SIL's two sons with the result that as adults, his grandchildren couldn't stand him and wanted nothing to do with him.

There were many awful things she did but the worst was receiving a court summons for three days later, 500 mile away from where we lived at the time.
I was expected to attend.
It was for access to her grandchildren. My children.
We paid a solicitor to represent us and the case was thrown out of court.
That would be 2015. Not heard from her since. Think she's still alive though.