To ask you what is the worst thing your MIL has done or said to you?

[IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour]

I’ll start. We lost a baby at 25 weeks pregnant, a little girl, the whole situation was awful. 6 months later I was pregnant with a little boy and we waited until 20+ weeks to tell anyone about him because we were nervous (understandably).

We phoned MIL on speaker phone to tell her our happy news about the new baby (we already had a son) and her first response was ‘well when am I going to get some granddaughters?’

There are many more examples but this really took the biscuit

What is it with MILs? My ex mil was so similar. My dd's got pound shop presents and her dd's sons all got decent gifts. I had years of watching the ex opening nice presents whilst I and the children would receive tat. Ex would never pull his parents up. Even now, just thinking of the disappointment on my girls faces brings a sick feeling.
The last Christmas as a family we went to pil for a post Christmas lunch. They had a pile of presents. My middle dd asked "which one is mine?". The reply? "There's nothing for you they are for us and your father ". What a way to treat children.
Did I mention the time I took dd's round for a pre-Christmas courtesy visit. Fil tells girls "look what I made to put presents in for the boys" (sil's children). Dd 1 lifts the head off the cardboard snowman and looks inside. Empty. Pil knew I was taking the girls round. Why show them if they weren't going to put a present in for them? We didn't stay long. Took them to my parents. My Mum and Dad were horrified, so Dad gave the girls presents off the Christmas tree; he then had to buy 3 more little gifts to replace them as everyone visiting would get a tree present. Such different people.

Reading these is making me think mine isn’t so bad, just in time for Christmas 🎄 🎅

mine is more of a slow burner, she has people she likes and people she doesn’t like. She makes it very clear my family is the last choice possible of the 4 families. I had to go VLC with her.

My MIL is a lovely person too but that doesn't mean that there aren't nasty ones out there (have you read some of the things that have been said?). So many threads are about terrible husbands but, I think we can all assume, that doesn't mean all husbands are the devil. It's such a shame that people are always trying to be offended.

Told me our firstborn looked nothing like my husband and that I was fortunate she wasn’t the suspicious type.

Continually told me that she’d have never got away with “not contributing” when my children were preschool age.

Congratulated me on “FINALLY doing something about the baby weight”

Told me that it was perfectly reasonable - in fact, understandable - for my husband to come home and swear and shout at me for leaving a single item on the draining board from the night before, when he’d been working hard all day and shouldn’t have to come home and clear up the kitchen.

Told me off for being controlling when I said it wasn’t OK to force my daughters to kiss their dad’s creepy elderly uncle (her BIL) goodbye, to make them sit next to him at dinner, or sit on his lap to tell him all about their lives at preschool.

You have to remember that MN has literally millions of members, and in the scheme of things the number of posts on here is small.

You also have to remember that as with most things on MN you only post when you need help or need to moan.

I would suggest that in the scheme of things the majority on here will have decent/good MILs but there is no doubt that there are bad ones, just as there are good and bad mothers. Same with son and daughter in laws , good ones and bad ones

If you don’t like these posts, and most are clearly labelled then just scroll past and don't read them

As another poster on here has said, for some it will be good for them to see they are not alone in having to deal with a batshit MIL , for others the6 will realise that theirs is not as bad as others

and some mothers are not nice! There are threads in here practically daily taking about how the ops mother is not nice

The posts in here have a number of examples where some sons have called their mothers out for their behaviour, or indeed gone NC because of it.

and sorry but some do transform, the son /daughter has left them and now puts the wife /husband above the mother, and some mothers simply can’t cope with that, they have to be number one at all times, and do become nasty in their attempt to remain number one

These situations always amaze me. Why would ANY mil think that she should be at the birth? Why would they want to be?

I would have been happy to visit my in laws more often if they had not been rude to me and my family, racist and proffering advice (erroneous!) to my XH about how to keep all his earnings and retirement in the event of a divorce, and then bragging to me that they had offered said advice. Not to mention saying that my children did not count as grandchildren in their eyes since DC are their son's children and DD is partially deaf. They said to her face that she is 'defective".

But perhaps I should be the bigger person, and say nothing about their bad behavior? I should let them say cruel things such as this to my innocent children?

She wanted to be the first person to see/hold my baby. Honesty deranged.

Thanks for sharing your stories everyone. It’s made me feel a lot less alone and a lot less mad! Sometimes things have gone down with MIL and husband has made me feel a bit mad for reacting to it.

When she first met me she said to her son “She’s too dark for you”.

A few months before our wedding she said to me “You’ve wrapped my son around your finger and you want to steal his money”.

At my wedding she said to my mum “If everything is not perfect on the wedding day I will burn the wedding hall down”.
I didn’t know about this until after the wedding. My mum didn’t tell me as she knew I would’ve cancelled the wedding by embarrassing her entire family by not turning up.

If we visited her she would find a way to get me alone to bully me as she knew I would never speak back. Since then husband would always be present next to me when we popped by, which was hardly ever.

When she found out I was pregnant she said “You’re lying to keep my son and his money”.

After my son was born she said “I wish my son had married (his first cousin)”. She was sat next to me and started kicking off about how disgusting that was and was she blind that her daughter in law and newborn grandson was in the same room listening to her conversation.

My son has colic from birth all the way to 11 months. At 3 weeks he would scream if anyone carried him. She told me “You’re spoiling him and teaching him to not come to me”. He was 3 weeks old!!!!

Anyway she’s sat lonely in her home craving to see her grandkids and her son, and my husband hardly takes our 2 kids round to see her.

It’s been almost 13 years I’ve put up with her.

‘She’s too dark for you’ wow, just wow. More of that ‘clumsy’ language that some have come on here to defend…

my MIL got upset with me, because i didnt want to send my baby over to her for her to raise him. We were in a bad financial situation on my maternity and were struggling from paycheck to paycheck, she wanted me to go to work full time, send my baby to another side of the world, where my visa was rejected so i wouldnt be able to go if anything happened…i said as long as i can put food on the table for my child he isnt going anywhere, its my job to raise him, not hers…so i was called ridiculous, precious and other mothers do it so why can’t I… she would come and visit every 2 months so i could see my baby..

she said i came to this family and them (in laws) should be now first, my parents should be considered second. I laughed because I though she was joking..she wasnt

And many many more

My DH was on a sick leave following an injury…getting full pay. I was part time (still am), because it suited us both to be part time for few years when kids are little, it was our decision, no one’s business. She told him i would never step up work wise if something happens to him and he wont be able to work.
I could not begin to explain how hard working person i am and she knew that, part time work was only a few years plan.

she was rolling her eyes and berating me when DH said i was feeling tired etc after taking care of the high need velcro baby, cleaning, cooking, everything whats involved when you have a family and husband who works away so you have to deal with everything by yourself. It came up casually in the conversation, dont remember is she asked where was I or something when she was on the phone to DH. Because OTHER DO IT, so i guess i am not allowed to have a day when i feel just tired

4 or 5 days after my second c section, baby and toddler at home, i was in the kitchen cooking and making their favourite shepherds pie (their own recipe) - DH went to pick them up from the airport and it took about 3 hours or more, and i wanted them to have a hot home made meal after long haul flight, really was trying my best so they like and accept me, they didnt try it, they went to get fish and chips

The first time I spoke to my mother in law after my husband told her I’d been diagnosed with breast cancer was “well when you’re told you’ve got the C word, you know you’ve been given a death sentence, but at least your hair will grow back curly when you’ve had chemotherapy”. It was just what I needed when I was coming to terms with my diagnosis and trying to be brave!

My FIL was joking (pretending to be upset, trying to get me to fall into his trap) because his son in law (who’s father is in jail and is NC) told him he is a better father to him than his real father, and his daugher in law (me) would never say that to him - knowing i have an amazing family and was close with my dad.

It was my FIL who was so against my breastfeeding and kept asking when I was going to stop. On one occasion , having had enough, I smiled sweetly and told him not to worry, by the time the baby got married it would be someone else’s breasts they would be sucking. Funny how he didn’t bring that up again.

They got fish and chips on the way to yours? Because they were hungry after travelling?

“I can’t come and see my [seriously ill] grand daughter in the hospital. I couldn’t possibly drive on the motorway.”
and a few years later
“ I can’t possibly come and see my son in hospital. It’s too far to drive”
it was 20 miles on an A road.
she was the laziest most selfish person ever. And no I didn’t go and visit her in the hospice, and I don’t regret it at all.

No, after they came and chilled little bit (they were staying with us), they said they are not in the mood for (their favourite) shepherds pie so they popped out to get fish and chips

she just passed away this year at 89, but i do not feel the relief i expected. she cut me out of her life, and made a decade of misery for family by pretending i no longer exist. this was because she nearly killed my son, albeit accidentally, before he was two. She left rx drugs out near toys and a gum ball machine. She only was watching him for an hour. I had no idea at time she had this routine/practice of leaving them out hours before they'd be taken. He was left fully deaf in one ear after a horrific illness. She was such a narcissist, and demanded only admiration, so she couldn't handle even a hint of partial responsibility. My husband knew how she was and secretly collected the names of her drugs in her home, after the poisoning, once we determined that it had to have been there. She was all over that, and became hostile to both of us for a year. Then her son, my husband, was "exonerated" because, well, he's her son. I then became the evil one, in her mind. She was so horrible she even left the pills out Again! right next to him, after his deafness discovered. I was there that time, and when i picked them up, she stormed at me calling me "a little shit." She said that i had to apologize to HER, and "admit" i gave my son "too much tylenol". This was her created story. I knew she was a tough personality before this tragedy, but got on fine with her, as i do almost anyone......and after the tragedy I was willing to not discuss it, and move on, she was my son's grandmom after all. I wrote her letters asking her to please let us all move on and that she was a wonderful grandmom....wish i hadn't stooped to that, now. She ranted and raved, showed them to everyone as if they were evidence of how badly i treated her. She was the one that never could move on, so i eventually came to hate her, for all the lifelong pain and torment she caused me, my husband, and worse, my son.

Except when people start threads upset about something their parent has done, it's not something from 13yrs ago and then asking other people to pile on to a specific relation. Bizarre.

My MIL gave us half the money towards a baby car seat when our little boy was born and bought her other son a house. Never tried to hide her admiration for second son