To not really get why people don’t like clothes?

[keeponwishing]

I’m not talking about specifically liking fashion or following certain trends.

I mean in general, clothes are a personal choice. They can express who you are, there’s do much choice out there. Why people say they don’t care what they wear?

But plenty have agreed with her.

im surprised at this thread, there is palpable anger in some of the responses. Like somehow the op is to blame for people making assumptions about each other based on appearance, or that she’s somehow shallow and unreasonable.

Which makes no sense, as everyone knows full well people judge you, make assumptions, based on your appearance. That you give an impression based on it. How you present to the world is something that causes people to make assumptions.

rich, poor, slovenly, dull, sexy, try hard, out going, messy, boring, confident, whatever, the assumption, the impression you give may be wrong, or different at different times based on what you wear, but you do give that. A woman walking in dressed like she’s walked off the set of ceebeebies gives a very different impression to one who walks in in a body con dress and sky scraper heels, to one who walks in in a business suit. Sure they may all be the same woman on different days, but people will absolutely make assumptions based on your appearance at that moment.

our clothes, our hair, our footwear, our makeup. even our bodies, fat, thin, fit, whatever, it all says something about us at thay moment.

You are easily the rudest, most repetitive and obtuse poster I’ve seen on here all week. You seem to have nothing to contribute to the discussion that YOU started other than supercilious remarks to other posters who disagree with you that they “don’t get it” because the concept is too complex and difficult for their tiny minds.

What is clear is that you DON’T care about impressing/conveying a positive image of yourself to others in any way except through what you use to cover your body.

If this is some strange attempt to gauge the temperature of the market for a personal shopping service, you really need to work on your interpersonal skills first.

It wasn't meant entirely seriously. 👍

I don’t see what’s rude. She’s just stating facts.

I’m currently losing weight and it’s only recently that I’ve developed an interest in clothes. Before that, clothes were just a thing to disguise my shape but as I’m getting closer to goal, clothes are becoming a thing to enhance my shape. I can’t speak for others but for me, that’s why I used to have no interest.

Plenty of posters find her rude and I think I made it pretty clear (as have others) what is objectionable about her posts.

If you don’t, great. One of the 15% of voters who think she’s being reasonable.

I'm 6' tall and mostly thigh. There is not "so much choice out there" for me. It's pretty soul destroying when you're a teenage girl and not a single shop sells trousers that fit, or you have to wear mens coats and jumpers for the sleeve length. The UK high street treats me like some kind of circus freak, so no, I don't see clothes as a way to express myself.

This has been an interesting read. I think I'm somewhere in the middle. I don't like shopping, find it very stressful, and have no interest in being fashionable. I'd normally say I don't care what I look like, and I do stick to variations on the same staples most of the time. But I'm realising that even that probably says a fair bit about me - I'm a middle-aged, middle class mum, who prioritises comfort and anonymity over aesthetics.

I've also, like a few others have mentioned, got a whole load of baggage from being a child/teen, where on the few occasions I wore something unusual or particularly "expressive," I got torn to shreds by my peers for not getting it right. Or from being the poor scholarship kid at a private school absolutely dreading every non-uniform day because I could never compete with the designer labels the others had. So I stopped trying, and found safety in (what some might consider) bland inoffensiveness.

I wonder if @keeponwishing and the others who enjoy clothes would have respected my attempts at the time, or if they'd have been the ones leading the mocking?

Also, quite like White Stuff (especially via Vinted) and had never heard of Plümo so googled it and now I have ads for their giant boxy clothing everywhere!

Why does it bother you so much that other people don’t want to express themselves or make a statement through clothing?

Her question was actually why people don’t like clothes.

Yes but the discussion moved on, as I’m sure you’re aware.

The point is whatever you wear or don’t wear is masking a statement albeit unconsciously.

Didn't seem to move on much for the OP. She's still at the "all of you little people don't understand my massively complex argument" phase of denial.

I don't know that many posters are really disputing that (some, many?) people will judge others and make assessments of them based on what they are wearing. I don't doubt this happens all the time.

It's just that I don't care.

Unless I'm going to a job interview or a work event where a certain standard/style is mandated, my only priority is being comfortable, warm and not scaring the horses. Other people, especially strangers, are free to judge away. I'm not going to change how I dress just because others may be watching - far less some rando walking past me on the street.

I do agree the op has posted in quite a condescending manner, and I think people do understand, they just don’t like it, although judging or making assumptions, which is the more accurate term, based on appearance is something everyone does.

curiously people posting I just don’t care in the midst of an angry text, actually come across like they care very much,they care very much that people maybe making assumptions about them based on their appearance, but everyone absolutely knows it’s the norm to do so,

as said uo thread, put 3 women in front of someone, one dressed in a short, tight, low cut body con dress and high heels, with a face full of Botox and hair extensions, one in a Breton jumper, Chelsea boots and mom jeans, with no make up , and hair scraped back, one dressed in a business suit, loafers, neat hair and subtle make uo, and they give 3 very different impressions, even though they may all be the same woman on different days,

Liking or loving clothes, fine
wanting to present yourself a certain way, also fine
Not giving a damn about clothes, perfect too

the only rude ones are the: you can only be interested in clothes and what you wear if you are stupid and have nothing else to do with your life 😂
They are the ones who seem to care the most about clothes and outfit, which is telling.

curiously people posting I just don’t care in the midst of an angry text, actually come across like they care very much,they care very much that people maybe making assumptions about them based on their appearance, but everyone absolutely knows it’s the norm to do so,

If by that, you mean me (I don't think my post was angry), I genuinely don't care about assumptions other people, especially strangers, are making about me going about my daily life based on what I'm wearing. I don't deny that they may be making them - but so what? It's not going to influence what I put on.

The emphasis on "It's just that I don't care" is born from frustration and incredulity that no matter how many times and how many different posters have told OP that the assumptions or judgements of others have little or no bearing on what they decide to wear, she continues to insist, like a broken record, that they don't understand her point.

as said uo thread, put 3 women in front of someone, one dressed in a short, tight, low cut body con dress and high heels, with a face full of Botox and hair extensions, one in a Breton jumper, Chelsea boots and mom jeans, with no make up , and hair scraped back, one dressed in a business suit, loafers, neat hair and subtle make uo, and they give 3 very different impressions, even though they may all be the same woman on different days,

But again, so what? Are these 3 women attending a job interview, or some other event where there's a need to impress whoever they're speaking to? If not, let others make assumptions, which may very well be inaccurate. No need for it to take up any headspace, far less influence what they wear.

No it wasn’t aimed at you specifically more a general comment.

and yes I agree, so what, but the discussion has moved to the judgement people make based on how we present.

I don't think anyone is missing the concept. I think you're conflating different things and I'm not entirely sure (based on your subsequent posts) what your point is.

From your original post:

I mean in general, clothes are a personal choice. They can express who you are, there’s do much choice out there. Why people say they don’t care what they wear?

Both things can be true at the same time; clothing can reveal aspects of your identify AND people can not care what they wear. Or at least, not care in relative terms i.e. compared to how much other people care or compared to how much they care about other aspects of their life.

People have to wear clothes. Therefore, unless someone else shops for them, they have to choose what to wear at some point. The level of thought and effort that goes into this will vary from person to person. We can assume people who give it low levels of thought and effort care less about what they wear, and plenty of posters have explained that it is simply low priority for them. I think this is what's meant when people say they 'don't care' what they wear. Obviously they care that their clothing is functional, but I don't think that's what you're getting at.

You keep trying to insist on where the discussion is at. Discussions are fluid, they can move to and fro on different points and don't need to be policed on what should be discussed.

Not really - you’re talking about how people perceive appearance and render judgements based on it.

However, that person might have a dress code imposed on them by an event or workplace, they might be running late, or going to a themed party, or have their clothes bought for them by their partner or don’t consider clothes interesting enough to spend time thinking about or they have many different facets of their personality and can’t afford to create a wardrobe that would encompass them all or they’re time poor and clothes don’t make the cut in their priority list or a hundred other reasons that could be behind their clothing choices.

They aren’t making a statement - they’re opting out of creating a personalised ‘look’ but you can’t begin to work out which is the specific reason behind it.

But other people will construct an opinion of someone based on how that person presents themselves, which is what you’re talking about. The person themselves is not making a statement but most of us will make snap judgements anyway and assume we know what lies behind it. We’re usually wrong as our instinctive judgements are based on our culture, upbringing and all the biases that come with that. I might assume that someone doesn’t care about clothes, because I don’t and I understand that motivation, when actually that person has been up all night with a screaming baby and the washing machine has been broken for three days and she’d kill to pull one of her usual outfits together but she’s stuck wearing a pair of workout leggings and her DH’s sweatshirt.

Not communication - judgement based on personal biases.

Through this thread, I have discovered Plumo, if nothing else. . I could actually afford their burnt offerings (there's an up to 70% sale on), but find most of it utterly hideous. Not even functional.

I do wonder who shops there.

The point is that it matters very much to you and this means you’re struggling to understand that it doesn’t matter in the slightest to some others. Telling them they don’t get it won’t help your cause. They don’t get it because it doesn’t matter to them.

The reasons for that not mattering are varied: other more important priorities, lack of confidence, money, time and general can’t be arsedness. All are perfectly valid.

I do watch a bit of GRWM stuff on Insta but I hate the huge hauls of clothes from ASOS, Boohoo, SHEIN etc because of the environmental impact. You can’t replicate that sort of content with decent brands and quality pieces because you’d be doing one a month with one garment.

Anyway if it matters to you to look your best and keep up with fashions then that’s great. I’m sure if I saw you on the street I would note that your outfit looked put together or stylish or whatever. I wouldn’t think you were a nicer or kinder or more interesting human than someone standing next to you in a pair of joggers and a hoodie though.

No, that's what you do.

Are you quite young? I can't imagine anyone over 25 recommending tiktok for inspiration.

I never said they were ‘creating a look’ and the point of a themed party is to suspend your identity.

Dress codes can still tell a story,

All the things you are talking about absolutely build a story. Not an obvious in your face ‘l love clothes’ story. In effect what you don’t say is as important as what you do say.

If they are t interested in clothes that’s all part of it.

But they might be interested in clothes…you just might not know on the face of it because of any of the reasons listed above.