To think that society does not require Botox

[MeridaBrave]

I’ve just started a new job and everyone is lovely. It’s a start up and there is a great atmosphere. A younger colleague (she is 28, so only 6 years older than my DD) said she has Botox. I asked why? She said society expects it so she has to. I really struggled to understand (I’m in my 50s and they recruited me for my technical skills).

I kept on saying I didn’t understand why it was required - clearly our employer wouldn’t care. To her it seems so obvious that it was expected by society. Eventually she said social media. I suppose also could be her social circle?

Am I being unreasonable to think that this is insane? I’m also worried about what sort of world we are bringing our daughters up into. What’s the point in feminism and equal opportunity if young women feel Botox is required.

We walked past a woman with enhanced lips recently and DH said - jeeez what the hell was that!

People notice enhancements but not in a good way.

I guess the message is, if you can see work has been done then too much work has been done.

@Umy15r03lcha1 You notice ott enhancement. You don’t notice discreet minor enhancement. Do you realise there’s a difference? Extremes are favoured by some women but not by all. I’m assuming you do understand that.

I also think that on the whole people are polite and would never dream of saying ‘oh you’ve had something done!’ I think mostly you can in fact notice. But is that a problem? Do people who have work done want to keep it secret or are they happy to be up front about it? I know anonymous posters are. But in person? I don’t know…

Ive also heard of women having it from that age to prevent frown lines.
It is sad when you see these young women,perfect the way they are ,freezing their faces and plumping their lips. Often it looks unnatural. Well if you can tell they've had it done it does!
I think SM does put pressure on them but I know lots of girls that age that dont have these procedures- well my daughter and her friends thankfully don't!
It may depend where you live and your peer group

I have Botox every six months. I’m 40 and look fucking fantastic. I even have a good career and my own thoughts independent of my husband. I’m sick of the trope that it’s ’anti feminist’ to want to look good. I can be an independent woman and look 10 years younger

Historically theres always been things uaed to 'enhance' beauty. Arsenic back in victorian times

I don't think that's its the person choosing to have btx who is seen as 'anti feminist'. Apart from the risks i mentioned upthread, its no different to getting hair or nails done to feel better - as long as someone is doing it for themselves, with no outside pressure. It's the perceived societal pressure which is seen as negative/sexist, that women will be judged different way to men may be for ageing, rather than the btx itself.

If course, I agree with you. My point was that if you can tell then too much work has been done

@Umy15r03lcha1 There are women who do seem to prefer to be noticed. As do some men.

True. There's plenty who crave attention.

Nothing wrong with looking good, or very good, or 10 years younger. However people who overdo Botox, fillers, lip enhancers, plastic surgery etc often look ghastly and deformed. They may not think they do, and their friends probably won't tell them, but over doing the treatments results in disaster.

Nothing wrong with looking good, or very good, or 10 years younger. However people who overdo Botox, fillers, lip enhancers, plastic surgery etc often look ghastly and deformed. They may not think they do, and their friends probably won't tell them, but over doing the treatments results in disaster.

I know a few younger ladies at work who pretty much impoverish themselves paying for incredibly expensive skin care, tretinoin/retinol, botox injection, eyebrow microblading, lip fillers, very expensive hair dye jobs & extensions, nails.

Its unbelievable the propotion of their income going on it!!

I have Botox every six months. I’m 40 and look fucking fantastic

I do not have Botox.....ever. I’m 40 and also look fucking fantastic. Happy in the skin I'm in, what's wrong with looking 40? Age is beauty.

I’m 30 - so her peer - and she’s clearly just a bit weird then isn’t she. Most people my age don’t post themselves all over the internet that much and are just cracking on with life. I have had Botox - it was offered to me free so why not - and liked that it stopped my forehead line being so deep. I don’t get it done because of the cost though. But I don’t give a toss about social media.

"My biggest flex is loving myself in a system that profits off me hating myself"
This needs to be taught in schools before the social media brainwashing can muscle in.

There’s a real difference in looking f-ing fantastic with and without Botox etc. Both can be true. But users beware - it’s always noticed; people are too polite to say though.
That ‘fresh’ look is still a look and is still perceptible. But maybe that doesn’t matter.

I wonder how open people
are irl about their Botox habits? They’re happy to admit it here. Bit irl? I’m curious

Ive had it once and was nothing to do with society expecting it. I have extremely dry lifelong dry skin, and at almost 40 I have terrible lines around my eyes that make me look older than my age. So I tried botox. While it did work for the fine lines around my eyes it gave me these weird creases at the sides of my face - almost like two big deeper lines alone the sides of my face and down my cheeks. I couldnt wait for it to wear off as I just didnt feel like myself at all but my friend gets hers done (by the same dentist) and hers is lovely

The “fresh” look isn’t Botox. It’s skin care routine and products not injections.

And yet you often read posters in here saying their Botox isn’t noticeable, but just makes them look fresh.

@faffadoodledo Botox cannot be the “fresh” look on the whole of their face as Botox isn’t applied everywhere. Skin looking all over fresh is achieved by a skincare regime that’s dedicated to this. DD is a devotee but never has Botox because she has no lines or wrinkles to eradicate. Botox refreshes your looks by targeted application, but it won’t enhance all your face skin to have the fresh look. It’s also a look requiring very light make up and healthy eating. It’s not about Botox.

10000 times this. I'm very sorry for girls growing up now, if the expectations are ramped up even more. Women have been and will be judged differently from men for ageing, and if the expectations get much higher for women, it's hard to see how this is positive, or even neutral. I would never blame individuals for feeling the need for procedures. It's not like I used make up and did my hair in professional setting just for myself. I could just skip it but I don't, and I acknowledge it makes me fit in that social environment's expectations of how women should look like. I also acknowledge that a lot of what I do, that any one us us does, has to do with social/societal expectations.

i have no idea. I’m just saying many on these boards claim their Botox just makes them look ‘fresh’. It’s a kind of justification, claiming they just look natural. I maintain you can almost always tell someone has had injectables. And ‘fresh’ isn’t the adjective I’d use, but it is the one many injectees use!
my DD looks fresh bc she’s 27 and has always used sunscreen. I look my version of fresh after a good nights sleep. Those who’ve had injectables may use the euphemism of ‘fresh’ but I’m sorry, they look ‘done’ in my opinion.

I think for me, Botox does ‘freshen’. I can’t really think of a better word. I also think that people only notice bad Botox.

I have now referred 9 friends and colleagues to my Botox Dr. The conversation always goes, ‘your skin is great, what products do you use?’ And I say, ‘Dermalogica and Botox’. 😊

People often say Botox when they really mean any kind of injectable like fillers, biorevitalisation, botulinotoxin, the whole menagerie of treatments. And to be fair, some of them do work visible magic for the skin quality / freshness. And Botox itself is just one brand (not even the best one!), it's just ended up getting genericised in language like Hoover, Tupperware, or Velcro.