To think that society does not require Botox

[MeridaBrave]

I’ve just started a new job and everyone is lovely. It’s a start up and there is a great atmosphere. A younger colleague (she is 28, so only 6 years older than my DD) said she has Botox. I asked why? She said society expects it so she has to. I really struggled to understand (I’m in my 50s and they recruited me for my technical skills).

I kept on saying I didn’t understand why it was required - clearly our employer wouldn’t care. To her it seems so obvious that it was expected by society. Eventually she said social media. I suppose also could be her social circle?

Am I being unreasonable to think that this is insane? I’m also worried about what sort of world we are bringing our daughters up into. What’s the point in feminism and equal opportunity if young women feel Botox is required.

@WestwardHo1 How judgy are you?! don’t see a theatre full of ladies you describe and I go to the theatre in London! It’s total rubbish that vast numbers of women look as you described. I’ve no idea where you live but not London!

I guess it is the circles you run in. I have 2 daughters in their 20s and neither they nor their friends do botox/lip fillers/long pointy nails etc - any more than I do.

I don't think it is an age thing at all - some women of any age seem to go for that fake, high maintenance look, whilst loads of women don't.

"People who opt for cosmetic face filler injections are being warned that there could be severe complications including skin damage, blindness or stroke."

https://x.com/Channel4News/status/1996210618659930614

Jesus talking about missing the point 🙄

No I don't live in London. Is that allowed?

@WestwardHo1 I read the criticism you had of the single woman in a theatre. It was unkind and you seemed to think everyone else was natural and therefore a much better woman. Your language wasn’t pleasant and, frankly, you were very judgemental.

in their 20s - madness.
Skin is so lovely then …

There's another poster that's literally told someone they'd look "better" if they had botox, if you want to talk about judgement.

You kept on asking? Why? It’s none of your business.

As I would have thought was obvious, I was talking about a system which makes a woman think she'd be more acceptable if she put fillers and other shit in her face and lips, and dragged it upwards and outwards. "Judging" aka "having an opinion" is something everyone does every day. I had the opinion that it was really lovely being in a group of hundreds of women of all ages who were out and being together and exhibiting solidarity and sisterhood, with young faces, old faces, scarred faces, make up free faces, dramatic make up faces. And yes, this woman stood out and I had the opinion that it was a shame she felt she needed to do that to what had almost certainly been a perfectly normal, nice, characterful face.

My language was not unpleasant. It was a dispassionate observation, not a "judgement" on her as a person. The "be kind" mantra is designed to shut women up and stop them voicing their opinions and I'm sick of it.

Some will tell you because that is "real feminism", the right to destroy your face without judgement, to spend your money on whatever you like and to make comments like "society expects it" without anyone being able to say otherwise because sorority.
A load of bollocks, but this is my own personal opinion. And as you can see from this thread there are many opinions.

YANBU. Botox should be banned.

I don't think 'everybody' will clock a bit of botox. Men of any age almost definitely won't unless it's excessive, people that are much older (like pp's mum) might not because they will just think you look young and fresh faced because that's what you are to them! And younger people probably won't even think about it.

But I'm in my mid 30s and I can definitely clock when my peers have had some. I think lots of others will be the same - it's all well and good saying it's not noticeable because you just look a bit fresher but that IS the tell 😂 When your in your 30s and 40s and suddenly conscious of starting to age that's when you start to notice that other people the same age as you are suddenly glowing and looking like they've had the best night's sleep of their life (when you know they've got 2 under 2 and their partners useless!)

My dd got a tiny bit pf filler in her top lip, the lowest amount you can get, and was persuaded to get a little botox over her lip so her gum wouldn't be visible when she smiles, I noticed the second I saw her, over a poor Skype connection. The mouth moves differently when you speak, I have noticed it on lots of women.

Same. Our girls are all in their late twenties, and we're all late fifties, early sixties. And I think we all look bloody marvellous. Of course the young 'uns are objectively more beautiful. But that's fine by us; we're not weird wicked stepmother in Snow White kind of characters who are jealous of youth.

Plus we're not about to normalise such treatments and lead our daughters down that path. Generally I think theyre all happy in their own (facial) skin, just like their mothers. At least for the moment

My poor DD had an actual facial disfigurement which needed fixing by surgery. It was successful in part because the surgeon injected Botox to immobilise the part of the face he needed to access. When she asked afterwards whether he recommended botox at her age he was firm in saying he didn't - let your facial muscles do the work they were meant to; going in too early will lead to problems when you're older. And I should add both me and DD noticed her face moved less for the time it was affected. It was weird.

She probably doesn't think society required it, but she was being forced to answer about her choices by an odd new colleague!

She volunteered that she'd had Botox. At least that's how I read the OP. Bit weird to overshare so much with a new colleague, but that seems to have been what happened

You do understand fashion can be taken on and off. Injectables like Botox paralyse muscles, and over time cause muscle atrophy, altering the shape of the face. Fillers stretch delicate tissue, do not as was asserted for many years actually dissolve over time but instead stay in place, or migrate. Dissolving fillers leaves a much worse effect for many, with sagging skin all over the face.

It is not a little outfit you can put on and wear for a day and then put back in the closet.

My friend has just got Botox. Said some crap about it making her feel better. It’s no coincidence she works with much younger women who are doing this. Sheeple.