To think skid marks are not normal?!

[Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

SD’s shitty pants are really, really revolting😫

It’s not normal for a ten year old, is it???

There are no wipes that are flushable. The sewage companies have enough of them to deal with. They are for the BIN ONLY. Flushable does not mean the toilet: it is an advertising ploy and has no real meaning. NEVER put anything other than Poo, Pee or Paper (toilet paper) in the lavatory ever.

This happens to my DS who is 8. He has constipation and we are under the care of nurses. He has to take medication for it. I found the charity ERIC very helpful. Best wishes to you all

@Starlight1984
But she's not belittling the SD? (She's actually only had a parent talk to her about it.)
OP is only talking about it on an anonymous forum? (In a neutral / descriptive tone to me but I'm told I'm missing something.)

How old is he? 28?

You're missing quite a lot if you can't read between the lines of her posts and pick up the tone.

She absolutely is.

SD’s shitty pants are really, really revolting😫

It’s not normal for a ten year old, is it???

It’s my job to teach a ten year old to wipe her arse?

I think she’s having fun or rushing and forgets to wipe. But it’s absolutely gross.

Nobody would talk about their own child in this way.

@Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I've only read your posts OP so forgive me if someone else has suggested this, but until she learns to clean herself effectively, could you have her wear panty liners so at least the poo can be disposed of with the liner and her pants don't get stained?

It's using phrase like "really, really revolting" to describe the child, with the use of adverbs (reinforced by repetition) to heighten the negativity. We can all imagine it isn't pleasant: that doesn't need to be articulated in a way that shows the child is regarded with utter disgust. Then negative predictions about how the child would behave, again with a surfeit of derogatory language: I think she’d just hide the evidence and I really don’t fancy dealing with a mummified shit-pant mountain under her bed in a few months’ time….

More derogatory descriptions of the child follow: she is "messy", "unhygienic" ; and the use of unnecessarily crude terminology like "wipe her arse" are indicative of anger and resentment towards the child. We know what "wiping" is in this context: we don't need "her arse" tacked on for good measure to make the discussion of the child more undignified than it needs to be.

Then the post about teasing and shaming the child, with no awareness of how inappropriate that is; then the attacks on the mother and the suggestion that maybe it's all because there are no clean pants ready for the child at her home (skid marks are happening: it isn't because they have been worn longer. Someone who didn't have skid marks wouldn't have them after two days, or even three).

I mean, i could go on, but ultimately tone isn't something I can explain on an anonymous forum. Plenty of people have picked it. It's upsetting.

Not wet-wipes in the sense of baby wipes, but wet-wipes in the sense of moist toilet wipes, which are flushable.

Is she getting piles? It could be that wiping is painful.

In any case, wet wipes can be placed in a lined, lidded bin so there is no need to worry about flushability.

I also thought @AngelicKaty 's idea of panty liners was helpful.

Even the ones designed as flushable are horrendous for the plumbing and still block the pipes. Ask any plumber.

Yes they are. It was in the news. But they can be binned in a lidded bin.

No wipes are "Flushable" at all. If you are flushing wipes that is a massive problem for the sewage system, think of "Fatbergs". They are wipes with faeces on them: Would you like to have that in your sewers.? Never put anything other than Poo, Pee or Toilet Paper down anyone's toilet EVER.

or step on lego!

Poor kid, she's only 10, you need to offer her help and support, not chastise her for soiling her pants. She's probably mortified by it. The way you describe it, it's as if you believe she is doing this on purpose.

Of course it can be a medical problem if it’s inconsistent. She’s a child - and you sound horrible.

I really don’t like the way you talk about your DSD, a girl of only ten years of age. Makes me feel quite sorry for her actually.

She’s probably trying to get out of the school toilets as quickly as possible, they are always grim, people looking under doors and over the top, general rowdiness and usually a lack of toilet roll.
One of my sons is a bit lazy but also has a fear of public/communal toilets, so it happens here on occasion.
Can’t say it particularly bothers me I just chuck all his washing in together on a slightly higher wash and laundry disinfectant alongside the usual detergent/softener.
As long as she is showering daily she should be ok and I wouldn’t bother separating her washing so you’re not coming into direct contact with it just chuck it in, she’ll grow out of it.
It’s also worth mentioning that left handed children struggle a little more with this, and it’s my left handed child that struggled. When I mentioned it to the GP at a routine visit they said that toilets are usually geared up for right handed people and children often try and wipe with their non dominant hand as the toilet roll is on the wall that side.

The pile-on is nothing to do with you being a step mum, it’s all to do with your venomous choice of language towards a child.

We had this. She could do it she chose not too. At age 10 I helped her rinse her soiled pants in the sink and was met with cries of that’s disgusting and I don’t want to touch it so I said why do you think I do or should then? That and taking her to buy brand new pants and have a choice of stopped it

Just to back up the other poster: There are NO wipes, toilet wipes, any other kind of wipes that are okay to flush down the toilet. I know that the marketing often says otherwise - please take your advice from the companies who are dealing with the fatbergs in sewers, not the manufacturers!

(Most) wipes contain plastic. By 2027 in England that will have changed (apart from medical wipes), but even the non-plastic ones have the same problematic thing in common: they are all designed to not break down very quickly!

University of East Anglia is studying how long biodegradable ones take to break down: preliminary findings are showing 1-2 years. That's still PLENTY long enough to cause blockages and fatbergs in sewer systems!

"Environment Secretary Thérèse Coffey has written to wet wipes producers setting out her concerns about the number of wet wipes that are flushed down UK toilets and has asked them to reconsider the use of the word ‘flushable’ on packaging to help prevent sewer blockages and water pollution" (2022) : Producers urged to address ‘flushable’ wet wipes labelling - GOV.UK

"Even "flushable" and "biodegradable" wipes are not safe to flush: Mind what you flush

Agree with this entirely. Children pick up on non verbal language and soak up the atmosphere like a sponge. OP sounds truly awful and not someone I'd want a child of mine to be around. Horrible attitude