To be sad husband didn’t care I’d gone to A&E

[Foxandsocks]

I went to A&E last night in excruciating pain, he’d witnessed this in bed whilst I tried to manage the pain at home, I told him I was going to head to A&E at 2am and he said ok and rolled over. I went and had emergency surgery but I didn’t hear from him till the morning.

I’m so sorry that happened to you, that’s awful. Sounds just like my ex husband (who was an emotionally and psychologically abusive narcissistic, coercive controller who pulled dark shit like this all the time). Similar incidents like yours, showed me his true nasty colours.
Unless your husband is mortified, desperately apologetic and begging you to forgive him for being an asshole then please leave him. Divorce him. Rebuild your life without him.
Friends will support you better than that piece of shit ever will. I came to the realisation that if in some sort of scenario if ever had some sort of horrible situation or terminal illness I would have to endure it, technically married with people assuming my husband was by my side, but in reality I would actually be lonely, and devastated that my spouse would use it as yet another opportunity to be a dick and not support me.
He’s shown you how he will treat you when you’re down. Unless he’s grovelling at your hospital bedside, apply to divorce and start the journey to a happier future.
Wishing you a speedy recovery.

What an arsehole, OP. Divorce him asap, and make sure he doesn't screw you over.

Fucking hell mate. You need to stop being sad that your H didn't care about you going to A&E and start being scared to be anywhere near him.

This man is of the common woman-hating red pill incel type. He would rather you died screaming in agony in your own bed than you "challenge" him. Absolutely fuck that shit.

I hope you recover well from your surgery and I'm glad you've resolved to go to your mum's. PLEASE don't ever go back to him. This man is a threat to your life.

This was my experience too.

And , OP, I want to caution that even if he ‘grovels at your bedside’ there is no guarantee that he won’t do it again. My husband would be cruel and he used to profusely apologise afterwards but eventually it was just the cruelty without the apologies. He hated me - only I was too blind and programmed to see that at the time.

(He did tell my family and friends how I was ‘the love of his life’ so if I ever expressed to other people any feelings of unhappiness with him, or distress at how he was treating me, they’d tell me how much he loved me - completely invalidating my feelings and reality. He was very convincing).

Jesus tapdancing Christ, what a hoofwanking bunglecunt of a turd you married! So glad to hear you and your cat can go to your mother, plenty of rest and recuperation and then you can start a whole new, happier life. Wishing you all the very best in the future, won't tell you what I am wishing for your arsehole husband, I'd probably get banned.

Fuck that. Even if he wants to go down a "stereotypical men and women" route, that would involve the man playing a protector and provider role... not laying in bed while you're in pain... even a bloody caveman would've likely had more empathy.

This husband is not worth spending another month with.
Get out and enjoy your own life.

You deserve so much better. He sounds pathetic and cruel. Your life will be so much better without him in it. 💐

He is annoyed that I’ve challenged him, and said that women shouldn’t challenge men if they want to be treated like a woman, hence why he’ll treat me like a man now.

Given the way he views and treats women - congratulations on being granted a major upgrade, I guess? However, I will bet you anything that he will NOT treat you as he'd treat a man. He doesn't respect you enough.

What an absolute fucktard he is!

“Jesus tapdancing Christ, what a hoofwanking bunglecunt of a turd you married!”

My God I wish I had your way with words. @Andouillette .

@Foxandsocks my ex did similar, ignored me being in terrible pain/huffing and puffing that he wasn't able to sleep with me there so I had to move rooms where i continued clutching my stomach all night in pain. Turns out these were contractions and in the morning my waters broke (after he'd left for work). Ill never forgive him for how he behaved that night. I left him 15months Iater.

My ex would have come to the hospital with me, waited around until I’d come round from the anaesthetic and then asked me when I was coming home to cook his dinner!
Seriously OP, you are married to an unsympathetic moron!
💐Take care of yourself OP.

What an absolute bastard. Hope you’re on the mend now, how scary for you. I’m so glad you’ve a supportive mother and you’ve somewhere to go. Well done for putting yourself first, it’s clear your hideous (ex!!)partner never would.

What an awful person he is. My husband would have driven me to A& E in the middle of the night as would I have done for him. You shouldn’t have had to drive yourself and it shows he is not there when you need him.

At least you know now the relationship is beyond saving. Throw this one back @Foxandsocks you’ll be better off without him in your life.

He is annoyed that I’ve challenged him, and said that women shouldn’t challenge men if they want to be treated like a woman, hence why he’ll treat me like a man now.

OP this says it all. He’s an arsehole and you need to leave as soon as you’re on the mend.

@Foxandsocks I hope that you are starting to feel better and being looked after by your Mum. Can't believe how your husband behaved - please don't go back to him

Hideous, cold, weird man. Not sure what's wrong with him to act this emotionally dead. And to say he'll treat you 'like a man', if you won't act like a woman?! That doesn't even make sense outside of the fact he's just a tosser. Honestly leave him OP, what a waste of your life he is. I hope you're recovering well. Look at the surgery and bad experience as ultimately a gift that got you to realise it was time to get your freedom and leave a really bad relationship.

Report him for domestic abuse. Take him for every penny.

What a twat! I'm in similar position, I'm in hospital after being taken ill at work. My kids immediately dropped everything and drove home ( one over 150miles) DH was in tears. They are working out to get my car home, I drove myself, not realising it was potentially serious! 🙈 Hopefully I will get home today.

What a shit head!!! As others have said leave the mother F. He’s your husband and he’s left you to get to a&e in your own at 2am, then the comment about treating you like a man. Thank god you don’t have kids with him. Run with the cat and don’t ever look back. I hope you are recovering well xx

What a shitbag. He should have gone with you.

I am so sorry to read this. You deserve so much better OP.
My DH saved my life recently. I know that I am very blessed, that is how it should be.

Never go back to him. I am so very sorry x

What a monster.
thank god you have no dc with him