To be sad husband didn’t care I’d gone to A&E

[Foxandsocks]

I went to A&E last night in excruciating pain, he’d witnessed this in bed whilst I tried to manage the pain at home, I told him I was going to head to A&E at 2am and he said ok and rolled over. I went and had emergency surgery but I didn’t hear from him till the morning.

What??

Everything about this post is crazy.

I hope you never speak to him again.

Oh that's totally warped. He sounds like trouble.

I am so sorry op but you are doing the right thing leaving. It doesn't get any better, trust me.

My husband let me down monumentally when I had severe post natal depression over 20 years ago. He was really cruel to me but at the time I didn't have the self esteem to leave as I was at rock bottom.

Anyway I stayed in the unhappy marriage for the kids but again a couple of years ago he did another horrible thing to me when I was vulnerable. I had been told by the doctor I had cancer and when he found out he literally stopped talking to me and every time I walked into the room he walked out. All the while I was terrified and had no one to talk to as I was ashamed to admit to people how he was acting. He was laughing and joking with our daughter like he didn't have a care in the world and then just really cold to me.

Luckily for me it was actually a misdiagnosis and the consultant confirmed a couple of weeks later I didn't have cancer. I walked in the house and went straight to tell my husband and without looking up from his computer screen he just said oh that's good.

That was a light switch moment for me and made me realise I can't grow old with this man as it is very scary to be vulnerable around him as he never has my back. I am finally getting the divorce I should have got 20 years ago! He has let me down in multiple ways over the years but I think the health related ones are just the worst.

I am so sorry you have been through this op but you will be better off without him. Men like this don't change.

What a sorry excuse for a man. I’m glad you can go to your mums (with the cat!) and once you’ve recovered, start divorce proceedings.

Unless you're a frequent flyer I'd consider that goodbye.

Good luck OP. That’s awful. Anyone indifferent to your suffering isn’t worth your love. Good on ya moving in with Mum and on with your life. Block him.

your mum sounds kind and lovely. I hope you settle in and recover from your surgery quickly. You deserve better than that horrid excuse for a partner

What an absolute rat! So glad you have your mum and lovely cat.
Get stronger and then get a solicitor. What a pathetic excuse for a man.

I’m relieved to read this. I hope your mum looks after you. He must be a very cruel man.

OP, well done for deciding to leave. You'll never regret it. Sending some get well flowers 💐🌺

Honestly I would ask your mum to pick up your cat now. This guy is a class A prick and I wouldn’t trust him with the cat at all, especially if he gets wind of you leaving him. Could your mum say she doesn’t want him having to worry about looking after the cat so she’s going to look after him until you’re home?

Sorry, I hope you feel better soon and get far away from him asap. Was just concerned about the cat too!

Yes. Go to your mums and never go back beyond collecting your stuff.

Appendix?

I remember feeling like I was dying when mine went, than after a useless doctor diagnosed IBS (for fucks sake!!) I was wishing I was dying!

Your husband is a piece of shit. Stay with your mum and send your CH (have a think about what the C means) the same way as your appendix.

And this shows he has been radicalised. Stay safe sweetheart, never ever be alone with him again.

That comment is even more shocking than your OP. I hope you're free of the arsehole soon.

I think the thing that gets me about this is I wouldn't even need someone to be a very close friend to be prepared to get up in the middle of the night and take them to A and E. Obviously I assume people would try close friends first but the set of people I would do that for extends to basically anyone who would have my phone number. Because it's an emergency and it's a human in pain and suffering and if there's something I can do to alleviate that then I will.

I'm glad you're going home to your mum's.

I'm happy you've come through successfully and have your mom to care for you.

I'll never not be amazed at how people share a bed and a whole life with someone they hate.

I’m so sorry you found out exactly where you stand with this dick in this way.

WTAF?

Glad you are going to your Mum’s. Hope you recover soon and get rid of the mill stone. He doesn’t respect you.

I am not

Anything less definite than this would lead the OP to question herself. "Was I over reacting?" "Was I asking too much?" "Was I being selfish?" all of the things he would say over something that wasnt such an emergency. You see it on MN every single day (unfortunately, such is our conditioning).

That he showed his hand like this, in such a way that is undeniably awful by anyone, means that she isnt and will never question herself.

She will always know that he is a total arsehole who has been radicalised by Andrew Twat et al and that leaving him was always going to be the right thing to do.

Haven't anything this cold in a while.
Hoping @Foxandsocks severs all ties and never has contact with him again.
And please don't try to speak with him, explain your hurt, try for closure, just don't speak with him again. He will never relent.

Sorry for what you have been through and sending you love and get well soon.
Better days ahead. X

Oh my goodness this is terrible. How dare he treat you like that? I hope you’re looking after yourself, away from him, and wish you all the best 💐