To be sad husband didn’t care I’d gone to A&E

[Foxandsocks]

I went to A&E last night in excruciating pain, he’d witnessed this in bed whilst I tried to manage the pain at home, I told him I was going to head to A&E at 2am and he said ok and rolled over. I went and had emergency surgery but I didn’t hear from him till the morning.

This ☝️ 💯 😠

DIVORCE THAT SELFISH SCUM BAG.

Sexist rubbish, whether your partner is male or female doesn't matter, if they're ill you care for them! There might be occasions when you struggle to get childcare, so if he'd said go to the hospital (and called you an uber or ambulance, depending how bad you were) promising to come as soon as he could get a babysitter, then fine. But that's not the case. I'd be wanting to see a big commitment from him to changing, or I'd be gone.

My god. I've known some shits, but the OP and a couple of others on here have experience of men who are less than human, never mind adult men.

Lost for words.

Glad you're leaving @Foxandsocks. Hope you start to feel a bit better soon.

Give the OP a chance for goodness' sake. She had emergency surgery less than 24 hours ago. Jeez.

You wouldn't leave over that? Being ignored by your spouse while in need of emergency surgery? Having to drive yourself while in the middle of a medical emergency?

Jesus. Your bar is in hell, never mind low.

I'd be gone anyway.

@Foxandsocks just wanted to wish you a speedy recovery and a rosy future.

LTB.

End of.

I knew my marriage was over when I broke my foot - my husband told me to get a taxi to a&e as he needed to go to work - made me realise after 19 yrs of marriage I was no longer a priority.....we split the following year.

Sorry you were put in a similar situation xx

Wow, I can’t believe anyone could hear someone writhing around in agony say they were driving themselves to A&E (very dangerous) and not step in to help, especially the person you purport to love!

Definitely use this as the catalyst to end the marriage. The guy is a prick. I hope you recover well and enjoy some time with your mum.

I had the same experience. It was the beginning of the end of my marriage. He showed a complete lack of care and compassion and it made me realise I deserved better.

AGREED.

Bloody hell OP, I’m speechless.

I hope the surgery has sorted you out, and I wish you a speedy recovery. I’m sorry about the rest of it, it sounds like you’re doing exactly the right thing now!

This. My god, he sounds abhorrent. I'm sorry. Hope you can heal well at your mum's, on every level.

He sounds unhinged. Probably take someone when you pick up the cat.

Your life be will be so much better without him! See a solicitor as soon as you can.

WTF?? Oh OP
Is this in the UK?

Hope you are feeling better after the surgery.

Glad your mum is there to support you.

The only reason I can think of for someone to say OK and go back to sleep ehen told that, would be if they thought it was part of their dream. Having said that, you would think at some point when you were getting ready to go, or in the night they would have looked up and been in a panic.

When you are up to it, I would start getting your finances etc in order and get legal advice if needed.

@Foxandsocks "He is annoyed that I’ve challenged him, and said that women shouldn’t challenge men if they want to be treated like a woman, hence why he’ll treat me like a man now."
WTAF? This is 2025 and your dinosaur of a husband needs to pull his head out of his arse and stop playing the "Big I am". Who the hell does he think he is? What decent husband would speak to their wife in this disrespectful way, let alone treat them with such utter disregard when their health is in danger?
Your H is a nasty, callous POS OP and I'm glad you're making good your escape. I hope you're able to leave hospital soon and can fully recover swiftly in the safety of your DM's care.

I am glad that you are taking yourself and your cat away from him, good call. I had a cancer scare and ended up in hospital alone, 6 months later we were done, it was the start of a series of cruel behaviour- spare yourself further shite. The lack of compassion signifies that he does not give a toss about you. I hope that you recover soon, there's loads of us on here who are rooting for you, the future without him is bright!

Hes is a prize A bastard. I am so sorry OP and hope you recover well and soon.

This.

I am so sorry OP.

Having had many emergency abdominal surgeries (and supporting other women in same situation through a medical support group) I can tell you this is NOT how a loving DH would ever behave.

Wishing you well in your recovery and your steps to a life free of this awful man.

(Edited as missed OPs update, sorry).

That’s so awful. Truly awful! I hope he gets his penis stuck in his fly everyday for all eternity.

So sorry @Foxandsocks . Glad your mums on the ball and will rescue the cat

How long have you been together? Has he always been like this? How old is he?! It’s just so unbelievably awful

What was your emergency surgery? What did he mean by challenge him? Was there any context around that at all? It's hard to make sense of any of it. Definitely time to leave and go to your mum's to be properly looked after.