To think I’ve blown my chances of looking after DGD again

[BadGran]

I recently looked after my DGD who has just turned 1 for the first time.

It was all going really well and I was holding her on my hip whilst making her tea and she arched back and I accidentally dropped her 😢she fell head first onto my wooden floor and obviously cried a lot.

I obviously have apologised profusely to DS and DIL, and to be fair they were very understanding about it but they haven’t asked me to have her since. I know they’ve got quite a lot of Christmas parties coming up so I’m guessing they don’t trust me now.

Should I say something or just wait for them to ask me. I’m so cross with myself !!

Accidents do happen. The op is not used to their child and her wiggly ways. She thought she was doing the right thing by holding her. She won't do that again. One of the first few posts did warn the op about the pile on. People are very unforgiving these days even after apologising. They are teaching their children how to hold grudges and not forgive. Today is all about micromanaging. That's not parenting their offspring will do it to them when they have their children. It's all self righteous until it back fires and it happens to them and they ask themselves "where did I go wrong?"

Ah I'm sorry OP. Kids can be unpredictable as you are aware. My 7 month launched herself backwards like this the other day when I was taking her to bed and I almost dropped her so it does happen. You've apologised and you're obviously distraught by it. I would hold off mentioning it as it may just be coincidence that they haven't asked you to have her again but if it carries on for a while I'd probably bring it up in a sensitive way I.e not pointing fingers at any one. Good luck!

Tbh I wouldn’t ask you again. Why didn’t you put her in the high chair or somewhere else safe while doing her tea?

But she has been forgiven. And the family continue to build a relationship with her and don’t mention it. That’s very different to trusting their child to her sole care. You can forgive and not do that. Forgiving doesn’t mean you then hand over your kid, you can forgive and decide to exercise caution and not hand over just visit often

and as much as I’m sure she won’t do this again, she may do something else. It’s a risk I wouldn’t take with my baby.

The op sounds like she has her hands full with other grandchildren to look after. It could have been a one off babysit and the op is looking to deeply into it. Ds2 and Dil are probably not piss takers. The comments on this thread who says "I wouldn't leave my kids with you" is self righteous and I hope it doesn't back fire back on them later. History has a funny way of repeating itself.

I don't think it's reasonable of you to expect to be left minding the baby again. Was she taken to A&E? She certainly should have been.

It was an accident. You feel bad because you care but you’re not a bad gran because of this 🌷

If this happened with my mum (who looks after my son), I’d feel so sad knowing she felt like a bad gran.

Instead of waiting around and giving yourself a hard time waiting for them to ask you to babysit why don’t you ask them if they’d like you to babysit on X date? See what they say

You’d feel a lot worse if your child had a life altering injury.

Head injuries must always be checked out. Can take days for repercussions to show up.

So this was the very first (and possibly last) time you have been left in sole care of this child?

i think in their shoes, I would be worried.

Although I am… surprised that they didn’t take to a & e. What you describe is a fall from height and head trauma

Your username is a bit fishy, OP!

That's what's funny about the responses none of them was there and yet they are medical specialists. The op and the parents felt it didn't require immediate medical attention. Well spotted

You’ll only know for sure if you ask them; I’d be worried that you’re not strong enough or quick enough to prevent an accident. Give it a couple of years and she will be easier to manage, you could offer to look after her whilst they visit you - let her mum have a rest etc.

It’s interesting to see how many posters, although in the minority, feel the ops desire to babysit should top trump the parents right to decide for their own child and exercise caution. It’s not a thought process I can understand or get on board with. I feel bad she’s got hurty feelings, but it’s not like they banned her seeing her granddaughter, she sees her plenty, just they don’t leave her alone in her care. For me, their feelings are the priority, not the ops need to babysit.

When DS1 was 13 months my mum was holding him while ironing and managed to burn his face with the iron. She put him in his buggy and ran to the pharmacy but hadn't put it up properly and it folded up with him in it.

She had a lot of experience looking after my sister's three children and was so upset we couldn't stay angry. She did look after him again and I didn't worry because I knew she wouldn't make the same mistake a second time.

Accidents do happen and I am sure your DS and DIL will ask you to look after her again.

The op has said she looks after her other grandchildren every week. It was probably a one off and they needed someone to look after her. The op is feeling vulnerable and bad for what happened. It's obvious there is no bad feelings because they still visit. Op got her one opportunity to babysit and she thought it was going to be regular and it was just a one off. The usual babysitter is probably Dil mum. Women lean on their mother's not their mil for support. I am sure the op is loved by her family.

The first time my sister left baby with her husband , she rolled off the sofa and donked her head , huge egg on forehead & lots of tears . Granted that was his own child but he said his first thought was wife was going to go mad rather than is my child actually ok 😬
My own opinion would be accidents happen & children bounce ( usually ) I’m sure they will come around x

When DS1 was 13 months my mum was holding him while ironing and managed to burn his face with the iron.

What??? Who irons while holding a child???

Can't believe that either! We still won't even iron in the same room as our 4yo (small rooms and boisterous child) in case of an accident. That may be overzealous but my gosh, holding a baby and an iron at the same time?! Unbelievable.

Absolutely , definitely not saying otherwise,

You don’t need to be a medical specialist to follow guidance. The NHS guidance is to get medical attention for a fall of more than 1m (don’t know OPs height but if she’s an average height, for example 5 foot 4 is 162cm, then a toddler being held on her hip would have had their hips at around 1m off the floor and their head higher)

reference www.nhs.uk/conditions/head-injury-and-concussion/

The op and the parents felt that it wasn't necessary. It's okay to use common sense. They may have felt because she was playing she was fine. Do you think her parents were wrong and should have taken her to A&E?

You weren't there and don't know how quickly the child bounced back.