To think I’ve blown my chances of looking after DGD again

[BadGran]

I recently looked after my DGD who has just turned 1 for the first time.

It was all going really well and I was holding her on my hip whilst making her tea and she arched back and I accidentally dropped her 😢she fell head first onto my wooden floor and obviously cried a lot.

I obviously have apologised profusely to DS and DIL, and to be fair they were very understanding about it but they haven’t asked me to have her since. I know they’ve got quite a lot of Christmas parties coming up so I’m guessing they don’t trust me now.

Should I say something or just wait for them to ask me. I’m so cross with myself !!

I don’t think not wanting your baby to be dropped on their head onto a hard floor from standing height is being “paranoid about safeguarding” or “woke” 🙈

She dropped a one year old on their head on a hard floor whilst holding them and doing something else. How on earth that’s some form of paranoia or woke rubbish to you is astonishing.

Yeah if one of my children’s grandparents dropped them I would be really distrusting forevermore.

Did you describe what you’d been doing as ‘cooking’ to the parents too? Because shoving a plastic tray into a MW isn’t quite as reckless as frying eggs or stirring a saucepan full of soup, with a wriggling infant under one arm!

It happened to my oldest she fell backwards and went smack on the laminate floor. After she did well in her GCSEs, A Levels and is in her final year in university studying Chiropractics. Ideally I didn't want her to fall backwards and hit her head but who knows what it awakened.

This.

Unless I was really over a barrel with needing childcare I wouldn't let someone who dropped my baby on their head look after them again, at least not until they are a few years older. It wouldn't be worth the anxiety.

More paranoia hopefully she hasn't lost any brain cells.

Paranoid except where the family ‘babysitting’ bull mastiff is concerned, by all accounts.

Sorry, I wouldn’t trust you either, you’ve really got to fully concentrate on little ones, or put them somewhere safe, while you do whatever you’ve got to do.

It’s also happened to plenty of children who were life altering ly hurt. The fact your kid was ok doesn’t mean it’s woke rubbish not wanting someone who dropped your baby on their head in a hard floor whilst multi tasking to look after them again is paranoia or woke rubbish.

You dropped a baby from height onto their head and didn't take them to A&E?!

Op is not a bull mastiff

Oh dear. I’m sure you feel terrible op but I wouldn’t be asking you again either. Sorry.

If I was your son and DIL you wouldn’t be looking after her alone again either , yes it was an accident but it was an avoidable one .

Keep the op away then just in case. My brother got knocked down by a car and was in hospital for 6 weeks at 14. He was going on a trip with the Sea Cadets. Should my parents have never let him out again. He may have had another accident.

“Hi DS, I’m brooding a bit on what happened in the summer. I’d love to look after DGD again whenever you like, is there anything I can do to ensure you feel comfortable with it? I know it was an error of judgment to have been holding her and doing the microwave and I’ve taken on board now to make sure as far as possible there are no accidents. I won’t hold it against you if you don’t feel comfortable, I just don’t want it to come between us and I’d like to clear the air”.

my son broke his arm whilst with grandparent. He also bounced his head off a solid headboard with DH watching. And then he pulled a heavy oak bench on to his foot while we were all in attendance. It’s life.

Don’t do this, if they want you to care for her rhey will ask, don’t make them soft soap you and lie.

Accidents do happen with kids, but this one was so avoidable and could have ended so badly. My son has had accidents at my parents’ house (tripping up a paved step in garden and scratched all up his legs type stuff) which I totally get and was the one reassuring my crying mom that it was okay! But I feel like I’d probably be a fair bit more hesitant with a head injury on their first time babysitting. I think your best bet is maybe doing some first aid training or something similar to show grandchild’s parents you’re regretful and want to do better in the (hopefully!!) unlikely event anything happened again.

Hmm.

Accidents happen but multi-tasking while holding a squirmy child would concern me. Why wouldn't you just have put her down on a blanket or something if you needed to deal with microwaving food? In your family's shoes, I would be concerned that you also would be holding her while pulling hot food OUT of the microwave, which could be a disaster.

Are you known to be sort of scatty like that? I don't mean it unkindly; I am too, which is one reason I do not take care of small children. Maybe that is their reasoning.

That's your thinking. Never let the op near another child again. She managed to bring up her own children who her Dil is married to. Society is becoming less forgiving these days and problematic.

For me it wouldn’t be the drop in itself (although that would concern me), it would be the fact you didn’t immediately call for medical advice that would make me think you didn’t see something potentially very serious as a big deal.

I agree with this. The op should not beg.

Say nothing. They know you would like to look after her again and asking them could put them into an awkward position of saying no or trying to make excuses.

If they need you to step in they will ask, otherwise leave it alone. It's one of those things where least said, soonest mended.