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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Meeting a baby

67 replies

KeenSnail · 18/11/2025 12:54

I’m very curious to know how long people would expect to wait to meet a new baby?

My son is just coming up to a month old and has met his grandparents and great grandparents but is yet to meet any uncles, aunties or friends.

He has been poorly (had to have antibiotics) and I have 2 year old DS who was also unwell so making plans hasn’t been a priority.

Although I’m not deliberately avoiding social interaction I’m certainly not in a rush to organise things either.

In the first few weeks everyone was saying ‘no rush’ ‘let us know when you are ready’ but I have noticed a shift now that a few people have become quite insistent and yesterday even had a distant relative turn up (without invitation).

I had a c section and although I think I’m healing well it’s only been the last week I’ve felt somewhat ‘recovered’.

My question is how long would you be happy to wait to meet a baby?

YABU - A month is too long
YANBU - When you feel ready

OP posts:
Sweetlifeofyours · 18/11/2025 12:57

When you feel ready IMO.

With my first, I had everyone coming round, friends, family, I felt great and couldn’t wait to see people. With my second I was drained, felt ugly, and in the kindest way I wasn’t really in the mood for anybody.

Try not to think about it too much, and just do it when you feel ready.

Nobody in my friend or family circle have given birth after me but when/if the time comes I would 100% understand if they wanted to see people straight away or if they wanted to wait a while

MyAcornWood · 18/11/2025 12:59

In my family, a month would be a very long time indeed before meeting a new niece or nephew but I think it all depends on individual family dynamics and also, of course, how mum and baby are feeling in themselves. I knew if I got sick of any of my visitors, I could hoof them out and no offence would be taken (although they normally took their leave before outstaying their welcome!), nor would their presence stress me out.

BoyBoyBoy889 · 18/11/2025 14:45

I was itching to show off my baby TBH. But I really like my family and friends.

Eenameenadeeka · 18/11/2025 17:57

A month is a long time to have not met aunties and uncles, but each to their own. It's different because baby was unwell also, definitely makes you more likely to keep in your own bubble a bit I think.

Ella31 · 18/11/2025 19:48

Whenever you feel ready. We are all different. There is no right or wrong answer here.

Childanddogmama · 18/11/2025 20:09

A month seems a long time for people you are close to but you have had 2 poorly children so does make sense. If you are all feeling well now, then it would be good to let people meet baby but do it on your terms.

werenotgoingonabearhuntagain · 18/11/2025 20:11

BoyBoyBoy889 · 18/11/2025 14:45

I was itching to show off my baby TBH. But I really like my family and friends.

👍🏻

Gowlett · 18/11/2025 20:14

Reading this, I’m so glad I had a Lockdown baby…

BoyBoyBoy889 · 18/11/2025 20:20

Gowlett · 18/11/2025 20:14

Reading this, I’m so glad I had a Lockdown baby…

We are all different. Some want to be completely alone and not have any help or input from anyone. If that makes your life easier, crack on.

Personally, I am lucky to have lovely relatives and friends who I am fond of, and to me, having a baby is a happy ocasion. I had a horrible c section and we were in and out of hospital for the first 2 weeks but I couldn't wait to show off this cute little bundle to everyone.

And when someone else has a baby, I cannot wait to go meet them. I think it's sad to wish for a lockdown type scenario.

werenotgoingonabearhuntagain · 18/11/2025 20:22

Gowlett · 18/11/2025 20:14

Reading this, I’m so glad I had a Lockdown baby…

I had a lockdown baby … it was horrible!

stichguru · 18/11/2025 20:27

My LO met GPs at 1 week, aunties and uncles about 2 weeks, and wider family at 1 month. I think it's absolutely when the parents are ready though.

mellongoose · 18/11/2025 20:29

Well my mum was in the delivery room and all other grandparents were in the waiting room. It would have been rude to keep them there for a whole month!

Gowlett · 18/11/2025 20:30

Just goes to show, everyone is indeed different.
We had a lovely bubble with granny & grandad.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 18/11/2025 20:34

I had section with both of my dc. Both were also unwell as infants needing nicu stays. I'd send message on family chat that you all are still recovering and not yet ready to visit and would like to start having short visits with only a couple of people at a time every few days in a few weeks.

ETA if it were me I would also be insistent no one attend if any symptoms at all of illness and make people mask regardless as baby and all of you have been sick and you are not willing to risk illness again, especially so close to Christmas.

Pistachiocake · 18/11/2025 20:37

I've heard of some people waiting a few days and having all sorts of lists (no perfume, deodorant etc) for prospective visitors, but as we are on wards where even if mum bans visitors, the next bed has dozens of visitors stinking of smoke and coughing over everyone, I didn't see the point in not letting friends and family come, especially as you have to go to clinics/nursery pick ups etc so you can't avoid all the bugs. Did amuse me how some people expected food and drink providing, but I politely pointed to the kitchen. The only one I was feeding then weighed less than ten pounds!
TBF some want to give presents that they worry won't be used if the baby gets beyond newborn stage.

neverbeenskiing · 18/11/2025 20:47

Recovering from major surgery whilst looking after a poorly baby and a poorly toddler must have been tough. I'm not surprised you haven't felt up to having visitors! You must be exhausted. I would just message people and explain that you had a c section and both children have been unwell so you've had a bit of a rough start but you'll be in touch soon to arrange a visit.

PigeonsandSquirrels · 18/11/2025 21:59

My sister invited me after a week. Anyone else it’s been as long as 2-3 months. I still haven’t met some of my cousins babies (twins, born early and very unwell) and they’re 6 months. I’m not bothered by it… I’m not the priority right now!

Jenevievewatson · 18/11/2025 22:51

Still waiting to meet my two great-nephews born over a year ago; they live locally too! The family forgot to tell me about the birth of one of them; I found out by chance on social media. No falling-out or anything. A bit strange I suppose.

Peridoteage · 18/11/2025 22:56

Omg I'd have been gutted if my family hadn't shown up within days to meet my kids

1st baby - born at 1pm or so, parents there by about 4pm. 1 sibling came at 7pm with snacks for me! The other came the next day .
2nd baby - parents brought DC 1 about 2 hours after c section. Siblings cane within 24 hours (dc2 was premature in nicu)

EmeraldSloth · 18/11/2025 23:00

KeenSnail · 18/11/2025 12:54

I’m very curious to know how long people would expect to wait to meet a new baby?

My son is just coming up to a month old and has met his grandparents and great grandparents but is yet to meet any uncles, aunties or friends.

He has been poorly (had to have antibiotics) and I have 2 year old DS who was also unwell so making plans hasn’t been a priority.

Although I’m not deliberately avoiding social interaction I’m certainly not in a rush to organise things either.

In the first few weeks everyone was saying ‘no rush’ ‘let us know when you are ready’ but I have noticed a shift now that a few people have become quite insistent and yesterday even had a distant relative turn up (without invitation).

I had a c section and although I think I’m healing well it’s only been the last week I’ve felt somewhat ‘recovered’.

My question is how long would you be happy to wait to meet a baby?

YABU - A month is too long
YANBU - When you feel ready

When you feel ready.

When DC was born, we made it clear we were taking at least two weeks to settle down. In hindsight, wish I'd said a month because we were being hassled constantly.

It's also such a rollercoaster of a time, with potential feeding issues, birth recovery, etc. Plus being in cold and flu season, it's only natural to want to have some boundaries. Maybe just tell people you're excited to introduce them, and that you will be back in touch with them when you're ready?

HereintheloveofChristIstand · 18/11/2025 23:28

A month is too long if you are close, but if you don't have much to do with each other then not as much.

BabyLikesMsRachel · 19/11/2025 01:39

Each to their own. I was always happy to have company for the endless breastfeeding sessions and loved to introduce my new babies to my loved ones. Also always excited to do the same for my friends, siblings etc.

Lila9 · 19/11/2025 01:48

KeenSnail · 18/11/2025 12:54

I’m very curious to know how long people would expect to wait to meet a new baby?

My son is just coming up to a month old and has met his grandparents and great grandparents but is yet to meet any uncles, aunties or friends.

He has been poorly (had to have antibiotics) and I have 2 year old DS who was also unwell so making plans hasn’t been a priority.

Although I’m not deliberately avoiding social interaction I’m certainly not in a rush to organise things either.

In the first few weeks everyone was saying ‘no rush’ ‘let us know when you are ready’ but I have noticed a shift now that a few people have become quite insistent and yesterday even had a distant relative turn up (without invitation).

I had a c section and although I think I’m healing well it’s only been the last week I’ve felt somewhat ‘recovered’.

My question is how long would you be happy to wait to meet a baby?

YABU - A month is too long
YANBU - When you feel ready

When you feel ready. Nobody gets to insist on seeing him.

HAPPILYMARRIEDSINCE2012 · 19/11/2025 05:08

BoyBoyBoy889 · 18/11/2025 14:45

I was itching to show off my baby TBH. But I really like my family and friends.

This

Toddlergirly · 19/11/2025 05:18

My dd met her maternal grandparents and uncles and aunties in the first couple of days and then paternal side after a week. Great grandparents and friends were after a month. If you’re close to your brothers/sisters then over a month is a long time.