To be really annoyed with nursery over this

[notaminorthing]

My two year old has mostly phased her nap out at home but still naps at nursery. This does mean a later bedtime but as long as she’s awake by 2. I’ve specifically asked before if she can be woken by 2.

However they keep not doing it and today she slept from 115 to twenty past three. It’s going to be around half nine by the time I get her down tonight. I have a reception aged child who I won’t be able to do homework or reading or anything with and even he is going to end up in bed later than ideal.

I have just stopped myself sending a really stroppy email and I’m going to ring in tomorrow but am I really being unreasonable in feeling a bit like I’ve lost trust? I’ve specifically asked and surely common sense should dictate that’s far too late a nap!

Unfortunately this is a common problem. A sleeping child is an easy child. Definitely let them know again but it’s one of those things that happens a lot.

Does nursery have a policy on this? I have a friend who was a nursery worker and they had a policy to not wake a sleeping child.

not all children don’t sleep in the evening after a long nap so maybe this is part of it as well!

doesn’t stop it being incredibly annoying for you though!!

Not as far as I know, and my eldest attended as well so I’m pretty confident I would know.

I hate making a fuss but honestly the impact on this evening is going to be awful.

This might not be the nursery for you tbh. Ours was great and followed the home nap schedule in the baby room, and then they had one nap time in the day for toddlers between 12-2. I would be incandescent if I asked them to specifically not give my child a nap past a certain time and they ignored it and did it anyway. Unfortunately some nurseries want the kids asleep as much as possible because it's much easier to manage a sleeping child.

Go in, in person, and ask to speak to the room leader and reiterate your request. How they respond will tell you what you need to know about whether you can continue there.

Yeah I think this is just nurseries. We parents (especially of PFBs) start off asking them to do X and y parts of their routine, and they say yes sometimes, but in reality they can't and won't adhere to personal timetables of every child.

I found my DCs went down for naps much later at nursery than I put them down at home, usually because lunch takes longer, and then they slept later.

Nap phase doesn't last long though so you'll probably just have to deal with it.

they can’t of course they can. I completely get that they can’t have a personalised programme but she has a totally normal routine for her age - they are the ones messing it up!

They're messing her routine up by not waking her up?

If she's sleeping that long they may feel that she needs it. Some settings hold the view that it's cruel to wake a sleeping child. I would hope it's nothing to do with sleeping children being "easier" - someone still has to supervise and record sleep checks etc.

Why is she still napping there if she doesn't at home?

It is messing her routine up completely by not waking her up!

As a result she will now be in bed really late, and so will my other child. She’s mostly phased the nap out but she will sleep there at around 1. I don’t mind her having a short nap but she really can’t sleep much beyond 2 if she’s going to bed before 8.

why is she still napping there if she won’t at home just does, same as she eats cauliflower there and not at home.

Speak to the head of the room. They need to follow these instructions. I had no issue with my child’s nursery phasing out the naps to the times I needed in order to help with bed times. It’s just lazy of your nursery staff to let her sleep so late. If my child fell asleep late for the nap I gave them a 15 min window to have my child awake by, so the naps never went over 15 mins past the usual time to be woken.

That’s pretty much what I said @OhRight7 - so if they get her to sleep by 130 then OK 215 but twenty past three 🤦🏼‍♀️

No idea what I’m going to do this evening now!

Seems like you could be doing homework with your 5 year old right now.

Complain every single time. Not just to the time staff but to the nursery manager.

With a two year old climbing all over the place, I’m afraid it’s pretty much impossible. I don’t know if you were trying to be funny or if you were just being extremely pompous.

Surely your reception aged child needs homework/reading time earlier in the day anyway. Even 7 would have been way too late for mine to do homework

So annoying. Out nursery have a policy to not wake a sleeping child. If my LO still napped I would move somewhere that adheres to our sleep schedule. So frustrating when it completely ruins bedtime. I feel for you OP. But of course Mumsnet will think you’re being totally unreasonable!

Id step back from making it sound like an instruction . I’d reiterate her routine and tell them what happened as a result so they can see you are asking for a valid reason.

Normally, on days when DD doesn’t nap (which is every day really bar nursery) she’s in bed by half six which gives me a good hour with just DS. Not sure where the ‘surely’ is coming from, as there’s nothing set in stone to my knowledge about when reading etc should be done, it’s just according to what suits your family.

She only attends twice a week and one of those days is Friday so doesn’t matter if he’s in bed a bit later. Just not this late!

What’s for sure is that he’s going to be ready for bed before she is so that gives me no time with just him.

Yanbu re wake time in nursery.
Yabu not being able to do homework with a 2yo around is ridiculous.

In all fairness, the homework schedule of you other child is not nursery's concern.

Well, I’m ridiculous then. She snatches the book, body slams on top of both of us, grabs paper and throws it sound and brings endless toys to us. So - I’ll stay ridiculous!

Actually, it is. I’ve requested it as a parent, it doesn’t matter what my reasons are as long as the request is reasonable. The point is, it’s having a detrimental impact on us as a family.

No it isn't. They are paid to look after one of your children in a certain window of time. They do not have to engage with anything or anyone outside of those hours.

Changing habits is hard. It won't always go perfectly. You need to work with them sensitively to get what you want.

They are paid to care for my child. There is nothing in their policies about not waking a sleeping child and I have made an exploit request as a parent which is being ignored. I’m not going to bicker about it. I’m not expecting them to give two shits why I want her woken at 2, I just expect them to do it.

Does your older child get homework every night? Would it be an idea to have a chat with the teacher about your lack of time with 2 yo up late those two nights? I'm sure they'd be understanding (I'm a teacher and I would be). Also as a mum of 3 under 10 I completely get it - you feel guilty for not spending quality time reading etc because the little one demands your attention. I've had to involve my very lively 3 year old in the reading - he "reads" the book first then we both listen to my 6 yr old.