To be really annoyed with nursery over this

[notaminorthing]

My two year old has mostly phased her nap out at home but still naps at nursery. This does mean a later bedtime but as long as she’s awake by 2. I’ve specifically asked before if she can be woken by 2.

However they keep not doing it and today she slept from 115 to twenty past three. It’s going to be around half nine by the time I get her down tonight. I have a reception aged child who I won’t be able to do homework or reading or anything with and even he is going to end up in bed later than ideal.

I have just stopped myself sending a really stroppy email and I’m going to ring in tomorrow but am I really being unreasonable in feeling a bit like I’ve lost trust? I’ve specifically asked and surely common sense should dictate that’s far too late a nap!

Well, I can only ask … if the answer is that they can’t wake a sleeping child then I will have to consider her place as I really can’t have this happening repeatedly. I’m exhausted and ready for bed but DD is still singing to herself, though at least she isn’t shouting for me so that’s something!

Can't you see that the mode of MN is to cut and paste a child into the parents' routine, not to do what is best for the child?
P.S. I completely agree with you.

You should probably move nurseries.

Its annoying and I would say it to the nursery again but sometimes these things happen and you have to work around them. In those circumstances I would have sent a note into school explaining that it wasn't possible to do the homework, and I would snuggle up on the sofa with both dc in front of the tv until bed time.

Is it every evening she's at nursery? Does she get up earlier the days she attends than when she doesn't? It seems as if she needs more sleep during the day. Can you amend the routine at all?

I think what’s best for the child is having a predictable routine. I don’t mean one set in stone or with no flexibility, but DD is two and a half, she isn’t a baby who can and will sleep as and when. It isn’t in the best interests of any child to sleep in the day and then be up very late at night. And children do have to fit in with parents’ routines and with the routines of other children in the family. None of that means that DD or my DS for that matter are ruled over with some sort of harsh, draconian rules regarding sleep, just that they generally go to bed between 630-730 and wake up at around the same time the next morning. That isn’t going against what’s best for the child, it’s the opposite actually.

Do you have any support in the house @notaminorthing

She attends nursery on Mondays and Fridays. Fridays I can obviously be a bit more chilled about, but on Mondays I do need to get ds into bed at a civilised hour and that’s hard to do when DD is still up.

Generally when she’s with me and doesn’t nap, she goes to bed at half six and DS goes to bed at half seven. When she’s been to nursery they both end up going to bed at around 8, which isn’t ideal but not terrible, tonight though …

Yanbu op. Our school (prep) has two rooms. Nap time is 12:30-1:30. All napping kids are in one room and all those who don’t nap/requested by parents to not nap go in the other room. They are encouraged with ‘quiet time’ - teachers do puzzles, story time, quiet activities with them. Any child that’s too noisy or loud is taken outside to the play area if they want to.
Sounds like a lazy nursery that’s doing what’s best for them.

This is so true. DD2 just slept in the car on our way home from nursery and she still went to bed as usual at half 7.

Yeah, sleep begets sleep. .... sometimes 😂

Oh well, luckily you get to be lovely and attentive with your own children. Feel free to start a thread about what you think is best for children. This isn’t it. HTH.

It never used to be @Winterwonderwhy but the toddler room has seemed not as great as it was when DS was there, which is a pity.

The latter I think.

i’m furious on your behalf!! That’s so annoying. It’s not even just 10 mins over. It’s loads over!!!!

If this happened more than once or twice I would complain. Most toddlers have their deepest and most restorative sleep between 8am and midnight, so I wouldn’t want to regularly lose 1-2 hours of that.

Put your other child to bed at the usual time. Just skip the reading / homework this eve. It wont hurt them. I'm a parent of 5kids ages between 15years to 9 weeks so I do understand the struggle.
If this is your only issue with the nursery then I'd let it go. You can also phone at 2pm every day and request management stick their head in the room to confirm your child is awake. Not that you should have to but it's just an idea.

But the OP is saying that it does mess up her kids routine. Both kids. All kids are different.

that’s why is so infuriating for her. If it didn’t effect their evening then I’m sure she wouldn’t have minded and wouldn’t have started a thread!

I preferred childminders for this. They don't let the kids sleep all afternoon because theyre heading out on school run! It made my life much easier and ny kids slept better at night for it.

Do you have a partner? Why can't they do bath and bed for the 2 year old or help with the homework?

I think they did know as well because when I picked her up I asked if she’d slept and the nursery worker said ‘until about 230, I think’ which is still quite late to be honest, but I’d have let that go. But when the diary came through and it said twenty past three I just thought … ffs!

I am pretty sure they are both finally asleep and I’m ready myself but need to find the energy to eat, get changed, put a wash on … thank god I don’t work Tuesdays!

I agree OP, that would have really annoyed me too! Our nursery was great, I think we said an hour nap max for our second as we had the same issue, and they adhered to that no problem. I’m surprised too that they don’t have a schedule of having all the kids awake by a certain time, 3.15 is mid afternoon! Do you have any other nursery options? Or could you consider dropping the nap completely?

Because they are not here: generally work away Monday - Thursday.

I’m a former teacher who used to get home at 6 pm and do homework with my DC before marking 120 books. There was no time to spend on my phone or write stroppy emails. I have no wish to start a thread about it.

I was responding to a comment not made by the OP. They’d have to pip in themselves as it was their comment, but I think the point was that it’s not obvious not to let a young child sleep past 2pm as not all children are affected in the same way by later sleep. IE have a word with the nursery but perhaps cool off about what is perceived as obvious. Our nursery just put DD down if she’s tired which we have obviously agreed to 🤷🏻‍♀️

@SailingYachty if I really can’t resolve the nap issue I’d probably explore the village preschool for her, which always has spaces. The problem is it has no wraparound care and is open 9-3. Fridays are fine as DH works from home and collects DS from school on those days and picks him up; Mondays might be trickier, potentially, but honestly I’d rather that than evenings like this for the foreseeable!