To think the problem with wealth inequality is that rich people don't know how rich they are?

[Neeroy]

Article in the Times today saying that people earning six figures 'don't feel rich'.

Because they are surrounded by six figure earning peers they are comparing themselves to people who have more rather than the 90% of the population that have far less. This is why the budget is poorly received in the news, because rich people think they already shoulder too high a burden when in fact compared to everyone else they still have far more disposable income. Even if they have to cut down on the number of holidays they go on. They aren't sitting in the dark under a blanket. Or only making food that doesn't require turning on the oven.

I don't think they realise how so many people have to live.

www.thetimes.com/article/1fb46414-8f65-436f-8f95-451d69626148?shareToken=8061d939633164c0dfbd805240c8e008

I’m a woman and work 7.30am - 7.30pm as standard, as do all my colleagues. We work in investment banking. It’s completely normal and my kids haven’t been damaged by seeing me work long hours (and making good money).

How do you know what your children think considering you're at work 12 hours a day?

Sweet Jesus @percypiggy200

you think I’m inferring drugs???

what are you on ie salary!!!

9am-10pm!!!

Not 9-10 hours

😂

It's not normal, or healthy, though. Again, how is anyone 'giving children a better life' by seeing them so little?

Oh, please.
Stop shaming people for having competence and ambition. Many busy, successful women raise happy and healthy children. She’s a lot better role model for them, too.

How far is he from retirement @percypiggy200 ?

Oops 😁

They’re 14 & 16. They’re usually still awake at 8pm when I get home.

he definitely puts DC first. He plays with DC all weekend minus an hour or so to go for a run. When we do move it will be for DC’s schooling because I’m not sure they are as academic here certainly at later levels so that and that alone will dictate where we live for a good ten years. All the money he makes is for our family - DC won’t have to work for money but will be free to work for enjoyment. (Obviously work is a good in itself)

But it’s so normal to us and literally everyone we know. It’s so interesting that you think it’s bizarre. I guess all our lives become echo chambers to an extent. I love seeing the completely different perspectives on Mumsnet.

I don’t know if it’s a class thing - I would say I’m middle class but my father is more on the right wing side. He thinks people should only have as many children as they can afford to educate (privately). He is a little nuts 🤣 But certainly for him and his colleagues you just really saw your kids to give them a goodnight kiss during the week.

I agree that the relationship between the parents is the most important thing though - kids just want a loving stable home. That’s so lovely your son said he wants just what you have!

You kind of prove the point though. Why get a mortgage beyond your means to begin with?

It's not shaming. HTH

Genuinely how much do working parents see their kids per week?

what do you think is normal?

I’m a SAHM now so do drop off at 8 and pick up at 2.30pm, 11.30am pick up on Fridays so obviously I see DC a lot.

He could retire today but he enjoys his job. He will probably work in this job until about 55 and then do something a bit less intense.

I do al that

heating on whoever
lovely holidays
and 2 teens in independent school

my salary £110k (4 days a week)
dh’s £184k

Neither of is work even close to 9-10pm unless it has been extraordinary circs.

i do 8am-6pm and never work weekends
dh does 8am until 6/7pm and then will pick up the odd hour or two during the weekends

we feel we have a good work life balance and doesn’t feel like a big sacrifice tbh as both enjoy jobs, children adore school and much longer hours than state so they’re often in matches until 6pm anyway or sports clubs until 8!

we have dinner together most nights at 8pm.
weekends are chilled

I will also say DC is young and sleeps for 12 hours so when he’s older he will see him a bit more in the day.

In the last year I actually earned just shy of £150k gross due to maternity leave. My total compensation (i.e. base + bonuses) is on paper around £200k, and job expectations are therefore set "for" that salary, if that gives you a reference point. Our juniors on £50-100k work those hours too though.

FYI: "9a-10p" includes lunch and dinner breaks, taken as you need them - some people go to the gym after dinner etc, I so in practice it's probably fair to call it 10h of actual work. I know some industries only count paid hours. We don't have precise working hours so can't exactly say what is an "unpaid lunch" etc. My personal hours as a manager are very variable and I don't have a "standard day" as much as the juniors do.

As I'm female and the breadwinner I can't see myself doing this for another 20 years. There is potentially a path for me where I could do the consulting version of my job (maybe on one of those zero hours contracts upthread!) which would be very appealing 5 years from now and allow me to still earn well but be able to pick my kids up at the school gate. After the nursery years, when I will also have paid off the private student loans I took to get this salary, this will likely be a plausible option for me both financially and career-wise. I am really hoping the timing of this works out.

My point was - how on earth will he cope without work??

More than 10 minutes!

The very few times I’ve worked past 8pm in the office - a taxi has been paid for by my company.

surely your company is paying for you to get taxis every night if leaving at 10pm?

So 10 hours work
2-3 hours on lunch break and dinner break?

bloody hell… I’d work through lunch!

No. I can never understand people who have children and leave them all day with strangers. So I won't stop. The children didn't ask to be born to parents who care more about their work than they do about them. It's not about women. It's about two selfish people who, for some mad reason, decided to have children then completely let other people raise them because they love their work more.

The competent people can strike a balance, but always put the children, who didn't just materialise, first.

Striking how you missed fathers completely out of your post btw. Are the "successful" women doing it all on their own?

So my kids are in school 8.45-3.25, so max time we could see them Monday - Friday is 3.25-8pm (4hours 35minutes total 22hours 55minutes). They get picked up at 3.25 twice a week. Twice a week they do school based sports clubs at their request so get collected at 4.15, which takes away 1hr 50. 1 day a week they go to after school club until 5.30 which takes away 2hrs 5mins. They do swimming, which is 30minutes.

So out of a possible 22hours 55minutes, we see them for 18.5 hours. Which is 80% of the time I could spend with them. Given over half of that time I don't spend with them is them doing sports they've asked to do, I don't feel bad about working.

Children don’t ask to be born to judgy narrow minded people either.

I fear for your kids if they decide to really go for their career and work long hours @Differentforgirls

They will have you judging them with a curled lip and no doubt want to keep you at arm’s length