To consider Only Fans

[Daydreamnotbeliever]

So for background im a single parent of 3. 2 uni age kids, one older but has additional needs. All 3 live with me still. Im supporting all 3 more or less full. Their father is no contact and has been for over a decade.

I work full time and earn a salary of £40k. Which on paper is ok. In reality, more or less funding 4 adults, not so much. The kids contribute what they can. They pay for their own items. My eldest works part time which is about as much as he can manage. But its not enough. My wage doesnt stretch far enough. I run out of money every month. Theres rent bills heating food etc all falls on me and i cant survive. Theres no luxuries. No fun. No anything. When they move out ill manage but at the minute its impossible. And i cant expect them to contribute more. The eldest doesnt have the capacity and the other two need uni to be the priority they are both doing courses that are intense and do a lot of work outside of lectures.

Im single. However. I have a friend who i hook up with. Its safe. Hes safe. But i have no desire to live with someone and share a life. We date, kinda, go out for drinks sometimes or the cinema, hook up, and have fun.

The idea is he manages an account i make. He makes vids, edits, promotes, markets etc. I do the chats, conversations etc in the eve. We split anything earned, more to me. My suggestion not his. All my idea.

i know its not guaranteed money, infact the opposite, it takes a lot of effort to make something. He has the time to market etc. i dont. It would be faceless. I wouldnt put my face out there. But pretty much anything else goes.

I just cant manage at the minute. Earning more in my role is impossible at the moment. Theres no second jobs i can do. No local bar work. I dont drive. I have no “talents” for an etsy side hustle. I dont have the money to buy equipment to start a printing side hustle or something. I dont have the time for much around my job at the moment. Theres just not other way to make money. Im out of idea and i need to make a few hundred a month to keep my head above water now im funding 4 adults alone pretty much.

The concern is obviously my kids, even though they are all adults. We are a pretty liberal open family and discuss anything and everything. Id probably tell them, but its still a worry.

Would you do it? Could you do it? Have you done it? Can you suggest an alternative?

There’s a real market for middle aged women.

The woman I referred to in my previous post makes a reasonable amount and she’s in her early 50s.

This. I worked through college and still got a good degree. Most of us had to. If your kids are living at home they aren’t paying rent so they should be giving you money towards food at the very least.

OK
so your eldest needs extra support and only able to work part time? do they get PIP? that might give them some top up on their wages, and may also, depending upon their age, mean they should be on the tenancy and get some help with rent as they would be considered adult.
The two at uni - are they working part time - yes they get less grant because they live at home, but that doesnt mean that they shouldnt be contributing to bills - if they were on a full loan at home the grant would be about £8,800 - so how much have you been asked to top each of them up.
Compare that to how much student accommodation costs on a full grant (about 10.5k outside London, 13.3 inside) - my son is in the middle of nowhere and paying about £8k.
The contribution is split between the two of them, - looking at SFE its suggesting your contribution should be about £2.5K - its only about £200 more if they live away, but their maintenance loan would be about £2K more

So it suggests that living away gives them £2K more in grant to live on than living at home.However, student accommodation costs about £6-9K including bills, so £4-6K more than the £2K extra they get for living away.

so let assume they were living away. they get £9250 from maintanance, and £1250 from you. They need to pay rent. Thats about £8K. that leaves them £2.5 k to live on for 40 weeks of the year - £62.50 a week. This is why they need to work, especially in the summer holiday, to top up their income, because they need to feed themselves out of that, buy educational supplies and have a social life. I havent includfed the school holidays because most kids are broke by then and they go home and parents feed them, and then they work in the summer.

now at home. They get £8,800 less your contribution. so roughly £7.5k for 40 weeks - thats £188.75 a week. Im assuming they have travel costs, but I think you can see the disparity in disposable income here. You have saved them roughly £5.5K per academic year. Im not saying that they should be giving all of that to you, but they should be contributing a fair amount - to bills, paying for and cooking all their own food or at least contributing. They can afford to, and having that much spare income at your expense is a luxury they cant afford.

I understand they are in demanding courses - many students are - but the stability of a warm home, food on the table, washing done, etc has removed alot of pressure that other students have, and they have to work too. They need to be paying for that luxury, and if they are not great at finances, then perhaps look at essential costs like travel, and work out a reasonable amount to be paid for keep every time the grant comes in, and they can also then learn some budgeting skills

Prostituting yourself is never the answer, especially with 3 other adults in the picture. And Im sure they would be horrified at the suggestion.

You'd be better off building a platform on tiktok and doing tiktok shop these days.

I am sorry you are struggling.

I am a bit confused though as your uni kids would be eligible for the uni maintenance loan which is thousands of pounds each year and should cover their food etc? depending on your income the highest maintenance loan amount is £8k plus per year per child. Plus you would get disability for your disabled child and you could be eligible for carers allowance? Reduction in council tax etc?

https://www.gov.uk/student-finance/new-fulltime-students

only fans is something for you to decide but I am just wondering if you are accessing everything you are entitled to.

also only fans for you is one thing - only fans so you kids can get a degree might make them feel pretty bad about themselves.

'Hi grown up offspring, it's costing me an absolute fortune to support three adults. I can no longer do so on my salary alone.

There are two options, you move out, or start paying a genuine contribution to the costs of the home. Alternatively, I join Only fans. I'll split the profits with this bloke I've been casually shagging.

So, what's it to be kids?'

Student loan is about 8k living at home and they are earning from part time jobs. What are they spending this on? They need to give some to you towards bills.

This!

Theres no luxuries. No fun. No anything.

Yet next paragraph...

We date, kinda, go out for drinks sometimes or the cinema, hook up, and have fun.

That's more than a lot of others have in similar situations. Regardless, very few make any real money out of Only Fans because it became oversaturated. Those who make more than "pocket money" tend to be very young, attractive student types.

Hey, have you considered teaching casual English to foreign students? It's something you can do online, you do not need any qualifications and people pay for your time. You dont have to lesson plan, it can be casual chat, you can log on any time and the student can also book your time.

The pay is something like $10 (USD) per hour and you get paid weekly by PayPal. You can do it anywhere in the world.

You can teach adults or kids - you get a higher rate of pay witg kids.

Download the app - it's called Cambly. There is also a Cambly kids.

I'm signing up for it tomorrow, not sure how it will go but it is worth a try.

You might not think you have anything to offer, but you are degree educated and could easily do teaching casual English to foreign students through Cambly. It can be small talk, or helping with homework etc.

I will let you know how I get on once I sign up. As I said, it's new to me so Im excited to give it a go. Im also going to be teaching Japanese students next year ( I dont have a degree but have my TEFL certificate.

If I can think of other ways to make money, I will post them here for you.

Dont devalue yourself by thinking you have nothing to offer and dont do Only Fans either. You are better than that and you have plenty to offer. You just havent realized it yet.

❤️

What are your feet like? I think the highest earning accounts are toe-based. Why not get a pedicure and start there? I think the split should be more 70/30 though.

This. A friend with benefits is one thing, a pimp is another. My respect for him would drop for suggesting it. But I do think you should tell your adult kids you're considering this as income is limited, and see if they then go and get part time jobs, as they should.

What about a befriending or carer service?

They need to buy their own food from their part time jobs surely? I lived away at uni and had to get a part time job working about 25 hours a week while doing a studio based course which was daily attendance, it was just the lifestyle of uni.

As they're living at home and working part time they should really each be contributing a portion of their pay to you for food and board, even £100 a month each would make such a difference.

Like others have said, while you may not have your face showing, you're giving control of your account to someone who does know you, and intimately. That's alot of trust and perhaps he's earned it, but it's still bringing a risk of lost anonymity.

I’m sorry I think you are stuck on your own uni experience - your kids are eligible for thousands in maintenance loans and the idea of it’s being maintenance is it’s for their food and lodging … you are not charging them enough to live at home if you are saying your greatest expense is food.

But you cannot manage this, and that’s all there is to it.
Only Fans isn't the real issue here, it’s your not facing economic reality where the ‘children’ are concerned.
A single parent not earning lavishly shouldn’t be expected to support three adults in easy circs. Naturally you’d wish to, but the situation will not allow it, and so adjustments really have to be made if you expect the four of you to manage.

Setting aside whatever requirements your eldest has re working, in most of the world three adult children would definitely no longer be dependent on their lone parent for everything; quite the reverse.
Two young university students in such a household is a privilege and certainly an indulgence if viewed from a cold, cost-counting point of view, and so supporting them means reshaping your budget accordingly.

If after all excess is trimmed you still cannot square this circle, then you all have to reassess these degree courses versus their supporting themselves by working full time and deferring university for a few years.
Their mother should not be forced in prostituting herself so that they can be carefree. It’s not the 1970s for students any more, sadly!

(OP I think I might sound cross, and if I do, it’s on account of your godforsaken husband, whose behaviour has me spitting feathers. You deserve every plaudit for managing so far, and I hope so much that there’ll be a brilliant idea here about avoiding any really drastic action for your family)

I think it's time to tell your adult children that you can't afford to subsidise them anymore. They need to pay their complete share of food costs for starters.

No to OF
theres got to be other solutions, I think a second employed job or a side hustle that takes a bit more thought.
Tutoring
Cleaning
Online shop
Learn a niche skill with a short course
Pet sitting
Virtual PA
Have a look at remote jobs, see if there’s anything part time you can work alongside yours.

this is not true, you can start with £20
Its slower, and you need to build up a reserve in your accounts before withdrawing, but I put my son through private school on the back of it. Im banned by all the bookies now though......

May I ask what sort of things she posts ? Or what do they demand of her to post?

I have huge sympathy for you OP. My kids are younger and I'm on a similar salary. Both have additional needs and are on disability payments but are quite likely to not meet the much more strict adult disability payment criteria. Our household will lose UC, child benefit, CMS and disability payments once they are adults but their costs will continue. My eldest is unlikely to be able to work full time. Not sure yet about my younger child.

I would love to be able to plan for this but I'm really stuck due to the level of need of my kids (e.g. not able to cope with childcare). Threads like this people often just don't understand the complexities of having to look after one or more kids with ASN and the effect on career progression etc.

I woukdnt do OF. Speak to the carers centre to find out if any more support is possible or to appeal the Pip decision.

I have a friend who does weekend pet sitting - would that be an option?

Have you considered being a style expert on social media.? At least you could keep your clothes on.

When I read your “anything goes” comment, my heart sank.

I read an article in an American magazine about a year or so ago, with a young girl who’d got into OF fairly early on. But as more and more people joined, she had to up her content to make any money.
I’ll spare you the very grim details, but her “speciality” was a traffic cone going where the sun won’t ever shine🤮
She suffered internal injuries frequently, and obviously infections from the random cones “fans” sent her.
She was only 21 at the time of the interview. Her face and her activities are forever out there. So sad. She didn’t bother with any education and was on OF from 18 years old, the promise of the easy money, I guess.

I doubt you’ll make money without showing your face. Part of the thrill for men is that they want to see you degrading yourself.

If you do it, don’t tell DC unless you want to advertise this as a career prospect to them.

Your DC are adults and should be supporting themselves. There is no need for you to be supporting adults on your wage. My parents didn’t support me at uni. I got a student loan and a part time job.

In that situation, you can apply to the council for a hardship grant and get vouchers for the food bank.

Also, go through all your outgoings, cancel every subscription. Look at your utility account, is it in credit? Ask for that to be returned. Check Tesco etc card points.

Use Olio for free food.

You should definitely reapply for PIP for your son.

Your uni kids I'm afraid will have to find a bit more work. Just the occasional extra shift.

You could put yourself on a bank rota for care work. Or look for evening jobs, like cleaning.

You don't drive, why not? How do you get anywhere?

Honestly, I'd be surprised if you made more than £10 a week on OF. Why doesn't your nice guy bring a big bag of groceries round instead of encouraging this idea? What does he do as job, out of interest?