To consider Only Fans

[Daydreamnotbeliever]

So for background im a single parent of 3. 2 uni age kids, one older but has additional needs. All 3 live with me still. Im supporting all 3 more or less full. Their father is no contact and has been for over a decade.

I work full time and earn a salary of £40k. Which on paper is ok. In reality, more or less funding 4 adults, not so much. The kids contribute what they can. They pay for their own items. My eldest works part time which is about as much as he can manage. But its not enough. My wage doesnt stretch far enough. I run out of money every month. Theres rent bills heating food etc all falls on me and i cant survive. Theres no luxuries. No fun. No anything. When they move out ill manage but at the minute its impossible. And i cant expect them to contribute more. The eldest doesnt have the capacity and the other two need uni to be the priority they are both doing courses that are intense and do a lot of work outside of lectures.

Im single. However. I have a friend who i hook up with. Its safe. Hes safe. But i have no desire to live with someone and share a life. We date, kinda, go out for drinks sometimes or the cinema, hook up, and have fun.

The idea is he manages an account i make. He makes vids, edits, promotes, markets etc. I do the chats, conversations etc in the eve. We split anything earned, more to me. My suggestion not his. All my idea.

i know its not guaranteed money, infact the opposite, it takes a lot of effort to make something. He has the time to market etc. i dont. It would be faceless. I wouldnt put my face out there. But pretty much anything else goes.

I just cant manage at the minute. Earning more in my role is impossible at the moment. Theres no second jobs i can do. No local bar work. I dont drive. I have no “talents” for an etsy side hustle. I dont have the money to buy equipment to start a printing side hustle or something. I dont have the time for much around my job at the moment. Theres just not other way to make money. Im out of idea and i need to make a few hundred a month to keep my head above water now im funding 4 adults alone pretty much.

The concern is obviously my kids, even though they are all adults. We are a pretty liberal open family and discuss anything and everything. Id probably tell them, but its still a worry.

Would you do it? Could you do it? Have you done it? Can you suggest an alternative?

What's stopping your kids from taking out student loans like everyone else?

Bit wild to think sex work is the way forward, and for someone with a degree, high paying job and 3 adult children you're too long in the tooth to think you're going to make thousands online.... The success rate of only fans is ridiculously small and the main criteria that do the best are usually 18yos or niche fetish stuff.

There are about 4 million content creators on onlyfans and the media income is a bit over £100/month. And from that you will pay to your friend. Are you willing to do the (weird) stuff that pays well? Are you ready to do a lot work to create a following?

How about boarding dogs in your house, as a home from home situation.

You can get £25 a night for each dog, your eldest can be in charge of bringing them out for a couple of walks a day.

OP, I've never been on OnlyFans, but I've heard that it's not just sexual, and that people can build a following around other projects. One example that I heard about was people following a woman on her weight loss journey and getting support and ideas from her. What about trying something creative like "Come along with me as I get in touch with people from the past?" You could film yourself phoning up friends from twenty years ago. Then you could support people as they do the same. Or, you could do "Come along with me as I discover my ancestry." All you'd need is a full sub to the Ancestry company, I think starts at about 10 pounds a month. And then, once you learn how to use it, you could help people research their own family history. It's all stuff you can do on a laptop from home. And I'm sure there are other creative ideas that would get you a following.

Another idea is to become an Avon lady. The women in my family have done this a lot. I know they have a website now, but some people like the personal touch. Especially older people who may not use or trust the internet. My mum used to hold Avon parties at home, and it made some extra money.

In fairness to him, she made it clear it was her idea.

Let me get this right, @SoftBalletShoes :
People will pay money to watch someone phone up friends from the past?
Or pay to watch them trace their own ancestry?
Seriously ?

Why are you so reluctant to answer the question of how much loan and how much they contribute financially? You’ve been asked several times and seem to be avoiding this question.

@Daydreamnotbeliever Hi OP. I agree with others on the various reasons not to do this. Can you share what your degree and field of work are? Someone might have ideas about ways to use your skills to boost your income. I do think that weekend works shouldn’t be ruled out as some jobs can be quite flexible.

I also agree with others about looking at ways your children could contribute more without it being totally prohibitive for them. I think it’s acceptable to ask adult children to contribute more - what weekly amount would make enough of a difference to you? Can you work this out and then sit down with your children and problem solve together about how they can contribute this amount, or as close to it as possible? As someone whose own lovely parents were arguably over generous at times, it would’ve stood me in good stead to learn to manage my finances a bit more effectively earlier on. Perhaps your children can still have a great experience while contributing more - they might actually be glad to do so and learn valuable lessons from it.

If one of you could get a supermarket job you might qualify for a staff discount on your groceries?

It's called being creative. There are/have been TV shows where people watch others' ancestry being explored, so why not personalise it on OnlyFans? And years ago there was This Is Your Life on TV. I wasn't saying it would definitely work, I was saying give it a go. After all, people watch people watching TV, right? (Gogglebox.)

That's not what I'm asking. It certainly sounds creative, I'm just wondering if people would pay to watch that kind of content.
I'm personally interested in ancestry, but everything I've watched has been on YouTube, and free.

If the OP has experience of dogs, this could be a good idea. Getting dog boarding and day care where we are is really difficult. This could potentially be offered on weekends when the OP isn’t working.

Ancestry, if you have a paid subscription, is absolutely incredible. You can practically see into your ancestors' underwear drawers, with all the information available on there. I have a great-great-grandfather who disappeared on the Somme, and I found all the letters that his mother wrote to the Red Cross trying to locate him, and their replies. I found records of his possessions that were found. AND, in the National Archives, which are online, I found his commander's account of exactly what happened the night he disappeared. You can also see your ancestor's addresses on the census forms, and have fun looking up the houses on Google maps to see if they're still there, and see inside if they have sold in the last few years on Rightmove. And the amount of info on the 1911 and 1921 census forms is amazing.

Who knows if you could turn this into an income stream? Worth a go!

Oh yes, I absolutely agree, it's fascinating, and the details can be amazing.
My point is that I don't know how much of a money spinner it could be on Only Fans for the OP? Perhaps you're right, I've no idea, I thought it was just adult content.

This is a really good idea!

Yeah, I don't know. I've also never been on OnlyFans myself, but I just read once about someone doing a weight loss journey and having a following that way. I think the same article said there were hobbyist accounts too.

Ok.

Before I answer, I just want to acknowledge your achievement of gaining a degree and a new career as a mature student and single mum. £40,000 is a good salary, it's just not enough to support three extra adults.

YABU. Nothing good can come for you from Only Fans. The only people who earn money are either Z-listers, or beautiful 20-somethings with many thousands of social media followers. There is very little market for faceless, middle-aged porn.

Even for those who are successful, a lot of their earnings come from girls signing up via their referrals, like an MLM. Also they have to work incredibly hard at marketing themselves and attracting punters and keeping them engaged. It's time-consuming, draining work. The obligation will negatively affect your sex drive. You've already acknowledged that it will upset your partner.

You are also being unreasonable in not expecting your adult children to pay their way - not even for food. If you only need a few hundred extra per month to get by, then that's only an extra ~£20 per week per adult in the house, including your eldest, or ~£25 each if you don't include him. You can do this!

Alternatives to Only Fans:

1. Cleaning
2. Picking up dog poo from people's gardens
3. Walking dogs
4. Babysitting
5. Tutoring in your degree subject (this is at least £20/hour, more when you're experienced)
6. Pet-sitting cats, dogs, other animals.

For any of the above, advertise your services locally on Facebook. You set your own hours, so you can work 3/4 weekends, or evenings.

Other ideas are joining Cat in a Flat app for cat sitting, and Rover for dog walking and sitting. Joining the User Testing site/app for $5 here and there. Sell unwanted items on eBay and Vinted.

Remember, £20 each equates to only 1-2 hours of work each, maybe less if you find something good! All of this will take you far less time and energy than Only Fans.

As for your eldest, most people are refused PIP on the first go. They reject you knowing that most people don't have the energy to appeal. You have to just keep trying. I know someone in a wheelchair with a feeding tube and autism, and even she was rejected on her first attempt. Other people have only got PIP after three or four tries.

You must try again with the PIP application, and your son must make efforts to seek help, even if only because every document will be evidence for PIP (you don't need a diagnosis, just evidence of symptoms).

You also have to fill in the questions and word them in a certain way, to make sure you're gaining maximum points. Check how to fill in your claim form - Citizens Advice Make the effort to fill the form in properly as advised on this link, as your eldest getting on PIP would solve all your problems.

Good luck with everything, this is within your grasp.

@WishinAndHopin This is great advice.

Good luck, @Daydreamnotbeliever

I’d say your comment is the cop-out, but then realised it was probably quite a bit of effort for you.

Ignore them OP. Somebody that’s trying to make someone’s life, who is in a difficult situation harder, is not somebody you should interact with.

Also - not sure why you keep going on about your degree. You've got a well paid job, the work experience you've got is worth far, far more than the degree you did years ago.

Well let’s see, is it possible she’s trying to explain how hard she’s worked to get her current job and raise her salary? So, what you could say is something helpful or supportive. Or…. nothing at all. The second is preferable if the first is out of reach for you right now.

😆😆

How much money do the kids have to spend on themselves? They are adults and it would be immoral for them to have “spending money” when you are struggling to feed them and considering OF.

Please sit down with them and explain they have to contribute more. It won’t be a comfortable conversation but it would be far worse if they found out you’d done OF whilst they spent on take away, coffee or clothes

This is exactly what I was trying to work out. The at home loan teamed with their part time wage should mean they are self sustaining, if not contributing?