To consider Only Fans

[Daydreamnotbeliever]

So for background im a single parent of 3. 2 uni age kids, one older but has additional needs. All 3 live with me still. Im supporting all 3 more or less full. Their father is no contact and has been for over a decade.

I work full time and earn a salary of £40k. Which on paper is ok. In reality, more or less funding 4 adults, not so much. The kids contribute what they can. They pay for their own items. My eldest works part time which is about as much as he can manage. But its not enough. My wage doesnt stretch far enough. I run out of money every month. Theres rent bills heating food etc all falls on me and i cant survive. Theres no luxuries. No fun. No anything. When they move out ill manage but at the minute its impossible. And i cant expect them to contribute more. The eldest doesnt have the capacity and the other two need uni to be the priority they are both doing courses that are intense and do a lot of work outside of lectures.

Im single. However. I have a friend who i hook up with. Its safe. Hes safe. But i have no desire to live with someone and share a life. We date, kinda, go out for drinks sometimes or the cinema, hook up, and have fun.

The idea is he manages an account i make. He makes vids, edits, promotes, markets etc. I do the chats, conversations etc in the eve. We split anything earned, more to me. My suggestion not his. All my idea.

i know its not guaranteed money, infact the opposite, it takes a lot of effort to make something. He has the time to market etc. i dont. It would be faceless. I wouldnt put my face out there. But pretty much anything else goes.

I just cant manage at the minute. Earning more in my role is impossible at the moment. Theres no second jobs i can do. No local bar work. I dont drive. I have no “talents” for an etsy side hustle. I dont have the money to buy equipment to start a printing side hustle or something. I dont have the time for much around my job at the moment. Theres just not other way to make money. Im out of idea and i need to make a few hundred a month to keep my head above water now im funding 4 adults alone pretty much.

The concern is obviously my kids, even though they are all adults. We are a pretty liberal open family and discuss anything and everything. Id probably tell them, but its still a worry.

Would you do it? Could you do it? Have you done it? Can you suggest an alternative?

Get rid of your 'friend'.

Batch cook
Meal plan
Get kids to contribute

Take in ironing
Do cleaning
Care home.shifts

It sounds like you really want to do Only Fans. Why you want to do this is beyond me but it is very clear that you do.

tThere are so many in this country earning much less than you and many of them would not think that OF is the only way to make extra money.

You and your adult kids need to put your heads together and work out how to overcome this financial problem - which isn’t yours alone to solve.

But if OF is your dream job go and do it.

yuck.

Imagine how you your kids will feel that you pimped yourself out on only fans because you didn't want to have an adult conversation with them about contributing to their own food.

Your FB will own the copyright to all his recordings and edits and would be ima. Position to take them elsewhere and use them elsewhere without having to owe you anything. You’d need to have firm contracts in place stating what can and can’t be done with the recordings and who owns copyright etc. You’d be better doing it all yourself and keeping the pittance you may make if you get to making money stage of views.

How much are each of your working adult children contributing to the household op?

Maintenance loans are not for drinking and socialising.....

This.

If you didn't have kids fine take a risk but even with only minimum student loans and part time jobs they can contribute to the weekly shop.

Have a bit of dignity for their sakes.

Im stressed, sad, angry years of working 60 hour weeks to get to this point has made literally no difference to my situation, desperate to change it without giving up the job i do love.

I think the problem is that it's very, very hard for one adult to fund three adults.

It was different times back then, but I was financially independent of my parents by the age of 18 and there's no way I would contemplated my parent taking up sex work to fund my lifestyle.

You could ask your children to do the Only Fans. They're younger and will earn more than you and it's such easy work.

He didn't. OP did - read her initial post.

Oh, so he just reviews and edits the material. Lovely, sounds like a gem. Not.
He'd be better off encouraging her to sort out her freeloading working young adult children

OP would have to confirm but I assumed this was the FWB paying for.

Yes, he sounds like a prize, doesn't he?!

I wouldn't, firstly it isn't inline with my ethics or values, secondly most people on OF don't make much money, perhaps a flurry at the start but unless you keep doing more and more extreme things the interest drops off to the next new thing. Anything you put online is forever, the minutes its uploaded it will be saved and circulated on forums and sites for free, you will never be able to remove it once and for all. The men who might be your paying customers don't really like or respect you, you are just a product to them so don't expect them to keep your images to yourself. Doing it could risk your job or any future job you might want to do.
It will be a lot more work than you can imagine any work like that is as engagement takes a lot of time and energy and posting new content to keep people interested.

The most likely outcome for anyone considering this kind of work is earning a few quid initially then having to do more and more work for less and less payment and finally quitting but knowing and perhaps being made frequently aware that there is endlessly circulating pornographic content of you online for free for anyone to see your kids friends, potential partners and so on.

I was thinking this- some uni students do Only Fans. If you are happy for your children to do Only Fans to get that extra money for uni, then I think it's fine for you to do it, otherwise, they will view it how you would view them doing it.

I don't think it's about immorality per se, people have to make a living, but if it's not ok for them, it won't be ok for you to do it for them, and they won't see it as ok either and they are bound to find out especially if this sleazy FWB is round chatting or making vids or whatever is going to happen in the daytimes. Get rid of him and get better friends and look to saving £100 for each uni age student and claiming more benefits if possible.

OP, you'll likely not make much money from OF and you'd still have to put in (wasted) time.

For additional income, you could try signing up to an agency to do relief care work, then you could take a shift on weekends or evenings when you're off.

For online work, could you try teaching conveesational English? There are sites for this so the platform and customers are already there.

It would be worth your adult children speaking with student wellbeing at their universities to access any grants, other financial support, bus passes, supermarket vouchers, etc, available to them. Universities have more support available than people may realise.

Maybe they could do temp full time jobs over uni holidays as well?

You might have to look at tightening the family food budget as well, which I know is difficult, but sounds necessary.

Can the kids work more over the holidays op? In retail, Xmas market, baby or pet sitting?

What a revelation 😂😂😂

Yes. He pays. And its a handful of times a year. Its not regular we go out.

Hes a good man. Ive known him my entire adult life. He became single a few years ago. We got closer. He would commit. Its me that doesn’t want to. I’ve the control in the relationship at the moment. I don’t want to live with someone, have someone else in the home ive built for myself. I don’t want to chance another relationship breaking down. I don’t want to justify anything. Share a bed every night etc. I just dont want it. But if i did he would in a heartbeat, i know he would. If anyone is the shitty partner in this scenario, its me.

He has a decent job and his own place, car, money, holidays etc. I don’t want his money. I dont want to take his time for free either though. Which is why I suggested splitting money if i earned anything. I approached him with this and he was incredibly reluctant because of the sharing, the other people seeing me, the levels it could escalate to. Im pretty certain hes only agreed because he could see how desperate i was. Not because he wants to do it.

But everyone is going to write him off as the pervert only interested in exploiting me and him wanting to gain something by demeaning me as a woman. When thats not the case at all. Ive pressured this, out of desperation, not for attention, not him. And he never would.

But it feels pointless trying to defend him as its sounds like without any facts, and an entirely fabricated narrative, youve all judged him anyway.

Unfortunately you can’t afford to give them an easy life at university. You need to sit them both down and go through your finances together. Protecting young adults from the realities of life won’t do them any favours in the long run. My daughter is at university. We pay her rent. She works every weekend to pay for anything she wants. Last year we paid for everything but I don’t want to shield her indefinitely from the realities of life. If she wants something she has to work for it.

I'm another that doesn't think you're likely to make much money from it. The OF market is saturated. I think you have to have a big social media following on the typical accounts (Instagram, TikTok etc) where you "tease" non explicit content which then generates and audience for OF content. Another pp said the average OF account makes £200 in total and I've heard similar. Only really big people make money from it.

Also you'd be faceless, which doesn't sound as appealing as all the thousands of people showing their face. And you're putting all your trust in your friend with benefits to market your image, which seems risky to me - you'd want that control ideally.

All those saying “just get a higher paying job” must live on another fucking planet 😂 I wish I had your magical fantasy lives, I really do.

Of course the first few responses would be delusional middle class shite.

"If you're not making enough money, just make more money!"

You remind me of the brainless girl who went viral for saying "if you're homeless, just buy a house."

How much do your two uni children contribute to your finances atm?

I suggest you get someone who knows how to phrase things to help your oldest child appeal the PIP decision, it doesn’t matter that he can cope with physical self care etc. he may still be eligible. Don’t do only fans for the reasons other people have pointed out. Will one of your children be finishing uni next year. Can they get some extra work over Christmas?

*Just adding to my comment - OP start by posting non-explicit images/videos of your body on an Instagram account and see if you get any following. If you don't get any or many you're gonna be unlikely to get anyone to pay for your OF page.

(Sorry to be harsh, but there are literally thousands on OF you'll be in competition with and most people, unless they are influencers or a celeb, make no money at all from it)