To consider Only Fans

[Daydreamnotbeliever]

So for background im a single parent of 3. 2 uni age kids, one older but has additional needs. All 3 live with me still. Im supporting all 3 more or less full. Their father is no contact and has been for over a decade.

I work full time and earn a salary of £40k. Which on paper is ok. In reality, more or less funding 4 adults, not so much. The kids contribute what they can. They pay for their own items. My eldest works part time which is about as much as he can manage. But its not enough. My wage doesnt stretch far enough. I run out of money every month. Theres rent bills heating food etc all falls on me and i cant survive. Theres no luxuries. No fun. No anything. When they move out ill manage but at the minute its impossible. And i cant expect them to contribute more. The eldest doesnt have the capacity and the other two need uni to be the priority they are both doing courses that are intense and do a lot of work outside of lectures.

Im single. However. I have a friend who i hook up with. Its safe. Hes safe. But i have no desire to live with someone and share a life. We date, kinda, go out for drinks sometimes or the cinema, hook up, and have fun.

The idea is he manages an account i make. He makes vids, edits, promotes, markets etc. I do the chats, conversations etc in the eve. We split anything earned, more to me. My suggestion not his. All my idea.

i know its not guaranteed money, infact the opposite, it takes a lot of effort to make something. He has the time to market etc. i dont. It would be faceless. I wouldnt put my face out there. But pretty much anything else goes.

I just cant manage at the minute. Earning more in my role is impossible at the moment. Theres no second jobs i can do. No local bar work. I dont drive. I have no “talents” for an etsy side hustle. I dont have the money to buy equipment to start a printing side hustle or something. I dont have the time for much around my job at the moment. Theres just not other way to make money. Im out of idea and i need to make a few hundred a month to keep my head above water now im funding 4 adults alone pretty much.

The concern is obviously my kids, even though they are all adults. We are a pretty liberal open family and discuss anything and everything. Id probably tell them, but its still a worry.

Would you do it? Could you do it? Have you done it? Can you suggest an alternative?

When I was in a bad financial situation with 2 teens and a 1 year old to look after , I got a second job . Not always easy I know but I would do my normal job 9-5 then for 3 nights a week go straight to my 2nd job which was 6 - 1am . It wasn't easy especially with a baby but it was a short term thing , I worked in a supermarket stacking shelves and sometimes worked until 3-4 am just to get the overtime . Did I burn out ? Yes but it worked as a temporary measure . I dont know your situation so not sure if thats an option for you

The biggest foremost problem with this plan is that it just won't make you the money you need. It isn't easy money. The market is actually oversaturated and a woman 40+ who doesn't show her face and hides her identity on social media is v unlikely to get good money. Probably not even doing really nasty stuff. And you'd have to split anything you make with your pimp, who incidentally, would be in a dangerous position of power over you, however "safe" he now seems. This could end in him extorting /exploiting you. He knows you are desperate and it's already a red flag that he's willing to become your pimp without much/any hesitation. Meanwhile, depending on what your profession is, you could actually jeopardise your source of real income.

Secondly, I think you just really need to think about the psychological and emotional fallout of making your body and your sexuality a commodity for other people to purchase. What if that has a negative effect on your wellbeing in the longer term, even after you've stopped making content? Your wellbeing is already precarious because of the enormous pressure you are under. But you need to be healthy to support your family.

Even if this could make money (which actually, I think there's quite a risk it costs you money), would your children really want you to subject yourself to this instead of getting more work themselves? I'm pretty sure I'd rather have worked an extra part time job vs my mum prostituting herself to support me. Your children already don't have to pay any rent, surely picking up the rest isn't too hard for them?

I'd recommend working as a bank carer/HCA. The money can be up to like £20/hour if you choose antisocial shifts. You don't need any qualifications though it is very hard work (but can be v rewarding). It's something your children could consider also. I did this job as a student. Just a few antisocial shifts a month or during uni holidays could make a big difference.

I really feel for you and I'm not judging at all, I just think it would be a terrible mistake tbh.

I'm guessing big cities? All the uni kids round here work in supermarkets, cafés, restaurants etc

I know right. Wow. Imagine being so out of touch.

I wouldn’t bother with only fans personally as I doubt most people make a tonne of money for it to be worth it.

A friend of mine used to sell her used tights for £30 a pair. She would buy cheap primark tights wear them for the day and sell them online. I think she would send a faceless photo with her wearing them too. Could be worth doing this instead of OF?

OP if you’re not too proud for a spot of sex work then you would be much better off finding yourself a man to split the bills with. Ideally someone doing far better for himself than your current loser who won’t commit and is keen to pimp you out for a percentage of your earnings thank you very much.

Five surveys app

Every little helps when you are short of cash I do surveys,use cashback grocery apps,anything to get a few extra pounds which can be helpful.

Every student I know has a job.

Wetherspoons employ lots of students, and transfer them back and forth for the holidays as well. So do Tesco. I know a few doing care work as well and working full time in the holidays to build up their money. And one who works at the uni.

The students I know are in Aberdeen, Glasgow, Edinburgh and Stirling. It would be more unusual to have a student not working ime.

Cleaning
Ironing
Babysitting
Dog walking

Cut your costs. Scrutinize everything.
Do u use public transport, pe4haps get a second hand bike.
Preplan meals
Cut out the cinema and drinks out with your sleeping buddy.

My thoughts are along the same lines as yours @Daaaaahling the FWB gains a significant amount more power over the OP that I think she realises. How does she know he won't squirrel away a load of extra images and flog them to his mates down the pub (figuratively speaking, or actually).

A dreadful plan unfortunately, there have to be better ways of raising extra income!

Yes as others have suggested, instead of only fans, why not start smaller with selling tights/socks/whatever anonymously to the foot fetishists. You wouldn't need a pimp, it would be much less risky, and you'd have a chance to see if you're any good at making money and also how it feels. And, if you make enough money it could be problem solved without even needing to consider only fans.

I'd still have reservations about this tbh but at least it is a much less risky step. You also can't get into any trouble professionally for selling your tights!

Could you or one of the kids do 1-2 night shifts a week stacking shelves in a supermarket? I know it would be exhausting but surely better than only fans.

OMG gross. How low can you go!

I‘d stay away from Only Fans.

As your biggest outgoing after rent is food: if someone in the family could pick up some regular shifts at a supermarket, they may well get a staff discount card. ASDA certainly used to give you and a family member 10%, I imagine others are similar. As my student job there gave me access to yellow-stickered items and I had a freezer, my/our food bill went right down.

Have you also tried apps like Good to Go/ Olio or a community pantry?

Ok. Go and get a higher paying job yourself. Go on, do it today. Start that process, and when in a month or so, when you have a higher paying job in a different sector... tell us how you did it.

We'll wait. Then we'll copy what you did.

They need to pay for their own food. No ifs or buts. They have the minimum student loan but no rent and a part time job. They need to pay you £30 a week for food each. Then things would hopefully be easier.

First of all I'm sorry your in this situation op. You sound like an amazing person And mom.

Is it really not possible for your kids to contribute food costs if they're working? Could they get private loans so that they could contribute more? Or even take a year out of school to work full time and save? I don't know anything about only fans.

Being I. College meant he was likely under 18, and it's pain in the arse employing 16 and 17 year olds. Especially in service.

They can't sell alcohol. There's some tasks they aren't allowed to do, they're subject to different break rules, often aren't allowed to be unsupervised etc

I doubt you’d make much money from this either. First where do you sell these things and second I think there’s a limit to the number of perverts willing to pay money for these things. It’s a myth that you can get rich from selling your underwear.

These are great ideas. Cleaning and babysitting are so much better than OF!

I guess you really need to be made of strong stuff to endure it all 😵‍💫.

Surely your 2 uni students are paying you house keeping? Or at least paying for food etc?

Surely your kids would prefer to each give you £25/ week towards food than to know you were doing only fans to pay for the groceries?! And doing it in their home as well.

Maybe just sit down and have an honest chat with them- work out how much more you need per month to pay the bills, and how (collectively, as a family) you are going to achieve it.

Sadly, it can go a lot lower.

Primark tights smelling of minge and bum. There's men out there who will buy them. I'm not even surprised these men exist.

I don't think there's much call for this in the reverse. A pair of Calvin Klein's with a skid mark and sack sweat probably won't generate much interest.

The student maintenance loan doesn't even cover rents these days, and the job market is brutal right now. There are more people looking for casual work than there are jobs. Even the OP can't get an evening job.