To allow DD to buy this 'obscene' top?

[maggie2k]

DD14 just lost 10kg, went down from 62 to 52kg (she's pretty petite, only 160 cm tall) and wants to buy herself this top since she's now at a healthy weight for her age and was putting off buying new tops earlier because she didn't want them to stop fitting her: https://www.victoriassecret.co.uk/style/su826145/w96067

My sister thinks it's 'obscene' and a 'lingerie ad' as well as 'something she saw on social media' which is complete nonsense because she uses one of those granny flip phones and isn't on social media except discord, spotify and IRC (no idea if those count)

I don't see the problem honestly, there's nothing obscene about lingerie if you ask me in the 1st place, and VS has always made clothes

This is a photo of the top in the colour she wants it:

Hehe. It's called historical/vicarious nostalgia, feeling nostalgic for a period you didn't even live through – a wistful longing for an idealised past. Alternatively, having it heavily marketed to you by brands who are recycling trends. I felt like that about the 60s in my teens...

Exactly this! As someone who also remembers the playboy bunny logo being very popular i have to ask you, did any of your friends get it tattooed on them? I know 3 girls who did! Millennial girls for life they’ll be! 😂

I don’t think it’s any different from the girls I went to school with in 2004 wearing playboy clothes. They were all 11-13ish and it was a bit weird and you could argue inappropriate - my mum would never have allowed it - or you could just argue it’s a fashionable bunny that children like.

Brands are very important to teenagers, wearing this top will mean an awful lot to the OPs dd. It doesn’t matter if we think it’s stupid. Ultimately it is just a grey t shirt

It’s literally a T-shirt. I think it’s ok

I agree. It should just be what can or cannot be worn, for example boys and girls could not turn up in summer in swimwear.

Oh god I've just remembered noughties "whale tails" I need to leave this threat immediately before the cringe becomes too much to bear.

I think the bigger issue here is that you’re allowing your sister’s opinion to influence your relationship with your daughter and your parenting decisions. You’re her mother, not your sister. Talk to your daughter, ask her to show you the sort of thing she likes or that her peers are wearing, share ideas with her and leave your nosy sister out of it.

Well for a start off it looks uniformly smart.
There is no worry what you are going to wear the next day, that is taken out of the equation.
Think about like Steve Jobs and his 40 polos in the same colour.
It helps against bullying for those not wearing the latest trends.
Many schools also resell their uniform so all in all the cost is actually less than wearing different street clothes.
It also helps with a sense of belonging to their particular school.
Also for those of an autistic nature it removes that worry.
Not sure what you mean about fetish as that is rather concerning, whilst it has two meanings, I hope you don’t mean the most widely accepted meaning of the word.

The T-shirt may be tacky, but it’s certainly not obscene.

Bullies are always going to bully.

I wouldn't wear a t shirt with that brand on it, no. Even as a teen. Not because it's obscene, it's just tacky. But the actual t-shirt itself is just plain and inoffensive.

Your sister must be very very conservative. It sounds like a family friend when I was a kid. She tried to ban me watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit on grounds of obscenity. 🤣

I could hardly read it and it's hardly obscene. No different to any other branded t-shirt apart from it's a bit more subtle colouring.

I can barely read the logo. Other than that it's just a bog standard grey t-shirt, the kind of thing you'd buy to wear with other colours so it wouldn't clash. Don't see an issue.

At 14 I wore tops with 'Warning, this Bitch Bites' and FCUK emblazoned on the front, along with 'Juicy' across the bum so I may not be the best person to ask 🤣

Its a simple grey top. Yes its a lingerie brand but as long as its not Ann Summers or LoveHoney I dont see a problem.

It’s not advertising underwear! VS don’t just sell underwear. It’s a tee showing a brandname. It’s no more advertising underwear than a M&S logo.

I think the OP’s sister is, indeed, very strange. Boring top? Yes! Obscene? No!

True but it’s one less issue re bullying about clothing, or if not full scale bullying then kids treating those of a less financial standing less than.

I was expecting to see a cropped corset style top, not a tshirt. I would not have a problem with a teen wearing it but in the wider context I am not keen on V S but they are popular

I had an FCUK T-shirt in my early thirties. A man at the garden centre came and engaged me in a really pointless and annoying conversation about it (I don't think he knew FCUK was a brand) so I gave it to charity after that.

Discord was set up for gamers originally and is the Wild West of social media. Harder to police than instagram or FB. I’m a member and not anti discord but people seem unaware of how it works.

The Victoria’s secrets lingerie shows give beauty standards a new level. They do have some plus size models but they are all not of this earth supermodels.

It's better than those trousers with "Juicy" written on the backside.

There was a trend when we were teenagers that was to wear the Playboy bunny, there’s nothing necessarily obscene about underwear anyway and certainly not a normal T-shirt!

She’s your daughter, you are her mum so your sister can clutch all the pearls she wants but she doesn’t get a say in this. It’s a t-shirt and I know my very girly girl 12 year old would love it too (though at 12 no she doesn’t need a VS t-shirt). I’m 157cm and yes those style of tops do sit well without being too short on those of us who are petite. Let your daughter have the top if she likes it and will wear it, it’s nice.

Argh yes!! Always JUICY with the letters stretched over someone’s backside. Just no no no..

It’s fine. It’s a t shirt

Also, the minute British children get to college, what they're wear ceases to be an issue.