DDs phone is off/dead should I worry?

[Clerenty]

DD is 17, we are Scottish so she is already at uni, her birthday is in February. She moved to London for uni.

I messaged her at 5pm, she told me she would call me when she got home at 6/6.30pm. I haven’t heard since and when I message her on WhatsApp it one ticks, when I try to call it goes straight to voicemail.

I know I’m probably panicking unnecessarily but she was pretty clear about not having any plans tonight and it wouldn’t be like her to have her phone off, if her phone dies she usually charges it back pretty quickly and always takes her battery pack with her.

DH thinks I am being dramatic and if we haven’t heard from her by the morning we should worry but she might just be busy with friends.

AIBU to be worried?

I wonder why she even told the mum that she was staying at the boys house. There was no need to

Good news brigade 🥳

I am with the son on this. You never know you might be meeting this ‘friend’ one Christmas 😂

well the daughter is old and mature enough to live away from home stayng at peoples places going out and about doing normal grown up things, but when a parent works themselves up into a state they are told by poster's 'she is just a child'

Yep, I feel sorry for the daughter. She’s escaped all the way to London but still hasn’t got any privacy to live her life.

I work with 17 year olds in student halls. They are all talking about boys. Last week I overheard two of them talking about who they were having sex with.

They are certainl**y not children

The mum had already rung the halls of residence and got them to check her room so she needed sone explanation about that 🤣🤣

I know, she could have said she was staying with a female friend though?

Ah well.

Whatever the story, I’m glad she’s ok.

Ha ha!
Oh come on, I’d have immediately responded that I was locked out because my only key was in the stolen phone case.
The kids of today, eh? No imagination. 🙄😃

I guess the point is that she shouldn’t have to be giving any explanation of her whereabouts when she’s away at uni.

I cringe at the thought of my parents knowing what I was up to when I was away at uni

Yes. She shouldnt have to.

But she was pressed to make a cover up story.

If i was making up a cover story i would say i was staying at my good friend anna's. Ha.

🤣🤣

God yeah. I was wild . We all were.

this.
She is safe and that is what matters. But her parents need to less invested in her life. She is a student, not a toddler! and is not beholden to telling anyone her movements.

I think her friend might have thrown her under the bus when she messaged DS saying a boy from our course has messaged saying she’s with him!
It doesn’t matter where she is as long as she is safe, but it was out of character and I’m glad we know and checked, if it had been something awful I’d have regretted not doing more.

I am happy that you will get a good sleep now!

Ha ha!

Did you often ‘stay at Anna’s’? [Insert made-up name of choice]
I did.
Could of course have said I was visiting my friend Bunbury. Nothing’s new under the sun. 😃

I lost my phone 3 times in as many weeks at uni during my young free single and very drunk phase. I don’t buy the “at the gym then phone got stolen part”. I’m glad she’s safe, it’s horrible to worry.

So glad your Daughter is safe. I have sons of a similar age, i can see both their locations, they can see mines. I panic when their phones are dead, i always tell them i just like to know they are safe. I have terrible mum anxiety, the world isnt the same place it was when i was 18. I would have been beside myself like you were, I would have probably been in the car heading down or looking up the time of the first train. It is so hard to let our babies grow up. Her phone perhaps has been stolen, but she obviously has a new male friend, hopefully you can convince her to allow you or her brother to have her location. Just for peace of mind and knowing she is safe. We can all sleep well tonight

That’s an issue with your friend not technology,

I mean that sincerely. She needs help with her anxiety.

So relieved for you OP. She’s a very long way from home and still relatively young so I don’t blame you for being worried when she seemed to disappear, especially as it’s out of character and had arranged a time to call you.

Is there any backstory of you stalking her locations/not respecting her privacy? Or is she especially prickly about you knowing where she is?

I just wonder if you could revisit the subject of location sharing. If you promise not to abuse the privilege and only use her location tracking for genuine emergencies, would she agree to switch it back on? Nearly all of the families in my social group share location with their children and vice versa, but for it to work, you have to respect her privacy and not snoop. I think it’s invaluable, especially for girls. It probably wouldn’t have helped much tonight but there are many situations where it would.

Totally cock blocked by overbearing mother!

Exactly, imagine if everyone called the Police every time someone said "yeah yeah call ya later, speak to later, yeah maybe 6/630 whatever" omfg! Especially a young adult away at Uni in one of the best cities on earth!

OP steel your nerves for more and more occasions of " oops lost/stolen phone" as your DD joyfully escapes your emotional prison

I think the story sounds a bit fishy 😆 but glad she is safe. Location wouldn’t have helped if the phone really had been nabbed but it might have been obvious if it’s a fib. Moving to London probably would have been the time to reinstall but I think you’ve maybe missed the boat now, especially if she’s realised she can get away with such stories. Call me cynical but it’s the type of thing my friends and I would have cooked up 😅