Am I a complete weirdo for contemplating moving to America?

[Frinkleg]

It’s always been an option as dh is a pilot. He’s spoken to an airline out there and would be able to secure a job with 3x the salary. We would actually be able to feel a little bit more than just comfortable.

I actually really do love the UK. I enjoy village life, British holidays, Brits are just funnier etc.

But the money is just too much of a head turner.

We could afford a gorgeous home in Connecticut with a pool.

We spend a lot of time in the states but only as holidaymakers. It would certainly be an adjustment.

of course I fear guns, American politics re female rights, I’m by no means pro Trump. The ICE raids are horrific. But we’d have some bloody money. And a nice house.

I can’t imagine the US ever feeling like home that’s the only thing.

You can always come back! The kids would have an unforgettable adventure

I would give it a go for sure

No amount of money could convince me to move to the States at the moment.

I wouldn’t.

I think the food is better in the UK- less additives and mostly cheaper.

I like living in a walkable neighbourhood. Being able to walk to shops, the leisure centre and walking my kids to school when they were younger- that’s normal to me and I’d hate to have to drive everywhere.

A massive house isn’t a draw for me. I’ve lived in a big house and the upkeep, maintenance and cleaning takes more time and money than you might think.

Not being able to access Europe quickly and cheaply 😕 I love France and Germany for family holidays and I love European city breaks so wouldn’t want to give those up.

Plus Trump, healthcare and guns…. It’s a no from me.

I would absolutely go. Trump will have a very limited, if any, impact on your day to day life.

I would go: as others have said it’s not forever. You could 100-% go for a few years ans then pack up ans come back with some savings.

Houses can be bought and sold, schools changed and new jobs found.

Id defo rent initially and not buy. More flexible if you can’t get on with it

It's not really 'knee jerk' when they intentionally will let you die from an ectopic pregnancy, or you could end up like that poor woman who had a car crash at a few weeks pregnant and the GOVERNMENT interceded (her family was opposed) and kept her artificially alive to full term so the child could be born.... severely disabled.

It's wild that any woman would contemplate moving there in the current climate, but if money is the solution then all the best to her and hope she never experiences any fertility or pregnancy issues.

There have been several threads over the last few days about people contemplating moving abroad, and the majority of responses seem to want to put people off going. Whatever happened to the spirit of adventure? I would have loved to have the chance to live in another country when I was younger - sadly it didn't happen - I think people should grasp opportunities like this with open arms. I'd love to live in the USA and no, I don't care about any of the so-called 'disadvantages' which PP have quoted.

The US is not one village its 50+ separate countries in a federation. My family, friends and colleagues in different states live different and similar lives in the way my family, friends and colleagues do in different European countries. Connecticut culturally is very north European.

What we see on the news is all the horror stories, mainly from key cities and border areas, meanwhile a third of a billion people live their lives pretty much as most of the developed world does. People are just people.

However make sure you know the full costs of living. Property prices may look lower but check property taxes, check the work situation for you (will a spousal visa allow etc) and the health cover afforded by the company. Check the practicalities fully then make a decision for a fixed time say five years. At the end of that you won’t need MN to tell you if its a good idea or not.

This does not happen in CT or in any of the New England states. If you can find me a news story of this happening in CT I will of course change my mind. Their abortion rights are the same in the UK. In fact I would say that medically you would be better off in CT as you would have very good health insurance- pilots are known to have very good policies.

CT did have a very horrific and infamous school shooting - Sandy Hook.

Sounds amazing. I’d love the opportunity to do this, experience something new in life. I say go for it.

You so know that each of the states sets its own rules (which was the result of overturning Roe v Wade) and that many of the coastal states have completely different rules from the “southern Baptist states” where the hard line rules apply?

You might as well say “don’t go to Europe, they let women with ectopics die in Malta"

Why not give it a go?
If you dont go then you will have a lifetime of what ifs.
We did a year in another country, decided it wasnt for us long term, but it was absolutely the best year, so fun exploring a new life. Juwt have a back up plan.
For us, we kept our house in the UK empty for a year and rented a smaller place than we would have if we had rented or sold it. This meant that we could decide to come back and had our house

I’m surprised so many say ‘give it a go, you can always come back if you don’t like it’. This is true of course, but moving house (let alone moving continent) is expensive and stressful. Plus there are three children to think about. I’d personally find it very difficult to uproot my children for a second time once they had made friends and settled into school etc. It’s a consideration that needs to be taken much more seriously IMO.

I dreamed of living in the US as a teenager and twentysomething. In my twenties I was lucky enough to live, work and study all over the world - Asia, Africa, Western and Eastern Europe. I finally ended up in the US in my later twenties and - to my absolute surprise - I felt less at home there than anywhere else I’d lived.

I’d go back for a holiday, but would never choose to live there again.

Yes I agree. If you are so fearful of life you won’t even try something else what is the point?

But its a good illustration of how 24*7 scare stories work. I’ve had colleagues ask me more than once if London is “safe” as they have seen endless stories suggesting Londoners cannot leave their front doors for fear of being knifed. I would take my advice from those who actually live there rather than people whose experience is via SM and the odd trip to Florida.

Plus at ages 4, 6 and 9 you are well placed to make it a 2-4 year “tryout”.

'for people who work' - and are well paid! And that % is shrinking, which is really the key issue here. I have been a very regular visitor for decades. Many of my oldest friends are Americans who live across various states and I think their quality of life is declining.

Even leaving aside that they're turning to fascism and that as foreigners you'll all be at risk: you have to pay for your own health insurance (which is expensive), education is extortionate (and unlike the uk student loans, these are private loans in the 6 figures) and that;'s a lot of house to clean. Oh and you have no work protection rights. At all. Your husband could lose his job and you're all getting kicked out again. what then?

I personally couldn't live by choice in a country whose ruling party is becoming ever more repressive. And I wouldn't contemplate for even a second sending my children to a school where shooter drills are routine. No amount of money would make that worthwhile.
And living a comfortable life potentially in a gated community... Sounds like a gilded cage.
How about NZ?

I wouldn't. SIL lives in the states, and she's increasingly anxious about her immigration status and wishes she had not bought a home there.
Emigrating and finding you don't like it, is a very expensive and stressful mistake to make.
If you current house is worth the same as that $1,100,000 house, then you're obviously doing alright here and I'm not sure the extra money would be worth it alone.

I would go. It’s an adventure. The kids are the right ages for you to give it a try for 3 years.

Your DH sounds eminently employable anywhere so has future options. Never turn down valuable experience I say.

Your kids will recount their childhood and not feel constrained by demographics in their future lives.
Reach for the stars. You make of life what you will.

Live there do you? Or consume a lot of SM?

Work protection rights vary hugely by state, if you lose your job on a working visa as here you have a time period to find another job and brutally there is more demand for good pilots in North America. As for t&c - try having a look at some of the low cost European airline t&c for their staff, many of whom find themselves on contracts based in the low pay end of Europe even if they live in high cost European countries.

As I said upthread - if you judged European womens reproductive rights by Malta you would be telling women never to come by Europe.

If it's at the right time of your life in terms of people dependent on you, your health is good and no other ties then it'd be something I'd consider for a few years. I'd set myself a cap, perhaps 3 years or something, and save money hard whilst there. It'd be a secondment + life experience in my perspective and I'd come back with a healthier bank balance.

I would absolutely not do that to children, as an adult yes perhaps. But absolutely not a chance in hell for kids. Guns and politics aside their education system is absolutely shite.

I don't know much about America or Connecticut but I think you should try it and you can always come home, nothing is permanent.